Found this on one of the communities I belong to.
And sharing, as I thought a number of people on my f-list would get a kick out of it
I've been trying to figure out quite hard whether this is a joke or not, but either way it is a work of comic genius.
And I'm also hard pressed as to find which signs of dangerous subversive gothisness are my favourite (although number 38 is high on the list; and I adore the fact that Buddhism is listed as a dangerous religion).
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or Goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous
culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
1.Frequently wears black clothing.
2Wears band and/or rock T-shirts.
3Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4.Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various
other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.
5.Shows an interest in piercing or tattoos.
6.Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7.Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
10.Takes drugs.
11.Drinks alcohol.
12.Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13.Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14. Complains of boredom.
15. Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16. Is excessively awake during the night.
17.Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
18. Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
19. Spends large amounts of time alone.
20.Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
21. Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
22. Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.
23. Misbehaves at school.
24. Misbehaves at home.
25. Eats excessively or too little.
26. Eats Goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. I'm told there's a Count Chocula cereal?
27. Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
28. Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
29. Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
30. Uses the Internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
31. Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
32. Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
33. Expresses an interest in sex.
34. Masturbates
35. Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
36. Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
37. Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
38.Claims to be a Goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church
I've been trying to figure out quite hard whether this is a joke or not, but either way it is a work of comic genius.
And I'm also hard pressed as to find which signs of dangerous subversive gothisness are my favourite (although number 38 is high on the list; and I adore the fact that Buddhism is listed as a dangerous religion).
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.
Gothic (or Goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous
culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in.
The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer,
and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:
1.Frequently wears black clothing.
2Wears band and/or rock T-shirts.
3Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nailpolish.
4.Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include:
reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various
other
Satanic
worshipping symbols.
5.Shows an interest in piercing or tattoos.
6.Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of
music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks
against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
7.Associates with other people that dress, act or speak
eccentrically.
8. Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such
as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
9. Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic,
the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
10.Takes drugs.
11.Drinks alcohol.
12.Is suicidal and/or depressed.
13.Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and
His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
14. Complains of boredom.
15. Sleeps too excessively or too little.
16. Is excessively awake during the night.
17.Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to
vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
18. Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
19. Spends large amounts of time alone.
20.Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
21. Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
22. Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and
elders are but a few examples of this.
23. Misbehaves at school.
24. Misbehaves at home.
25. Eats excessively or too little.
26. Eats Goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. I'm told there's a Count Chocula cereal?
27. Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood.
(Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
28. Watches cable television or any other corrupted media
sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
29. Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
30. Uses the Internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
31. Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
32. Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
33. Expresses an interest in sex.
34. Masturbates
35. Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
36. Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
37. Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
38.Claims to be a Goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~St. Mary's Catholic Church