Coweb: Soft hair, pretty pink hoodies, and your ass on a platter.
Coweb
It's no Chocolate, but if all you need from your entertainment is a tiny woman beating the crap out of everyone for ninety minutes, then this may be the movie for you.
Meet Yi Yi. She's just your average woman/security guard/martial arts instructor/asskicker.
Totally normal.
One day, acting as the bodyguard of a rich couple, they get kidnapped right under her nose. I'm sure it was supposed to tense and dramatic but all I could think was "JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT HER OUTFIT."
I... I have a thing for women in suits.
This is a kitchen fight where she squeezes herself through impossibly tiny counters and beats her opponent with skillets. HAHAHA.
COOK YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER! DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY! *FLINGS BRA*
Taking a lesson from the Jeeja Yanin school of diplomacy, Yi Yi goes on a knuckle-cracking mission to find her kidnapped employers.
An intriguing thing about Coweb's fight scenes is that they go on forever, spilling into multiple locations and pretty much lasting until Yi Yi's opponent can no longer stand. Her skill isn't just in her technique -- it's in outlasting every other motherfucker in the room.
Weep, you sorry bastard.
I know what you're thinking. "Great, two women catfighting in water for spectators." Except Yi Yi refuses to play. She stays in her hoodie the entire time and almost boredly beats up the other woman, completely ignoring the audience.
When your heroine is just too cool for fanservice.
SHE'S LIKE JACKIE CHAN THE GYMNAST. IT'S TOO FABULOUS FOR WORDS. LOOK AT HER GO.
FUCKING AWESOME.
WHEN HER OPPONENTS ARE BREAKDANCERS, SHE SIMPLY INCORPORATES BREAKDANCING IN HER OWN MARTIAL ARTS ON THE FLY.
I TAKE SUCH DELIGHT IN THIS! IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!
In this scene you think "oh man, that's a lot of guys, even she can't..."
Then she takes out her nunchucks.
I can't explain the glee in watching one woman take on two dozen goons armed with nothing but a pink hoodie and some nunchucks.
If you're wondering about the hoodie collection, it's not just a design thing, but a practical character trait...
...considering what she looks like without them.
Seriously, who fucks with someone like this? Who looks at an pissed-off, busted-up, one-woman hurricane snarling where are they? and thinks anything but OH JESUS I SHOULD GIVE HER EVERYTHING SHE WANTS?
If you mess with this face, you bring your fate upon yourself.
I'm trying to avoid spoilers, but let me just say that in her final fight, when she's gone through an entire movie's worth of henchmen and has reached her pure physical breaking point for bullshit, she starts punctuating her moves with screams. Not hysterical woman screaming, but like, instead of going "hiYAH!" with her kicks, she lets out little screams of rage every time she beats that sorry asshole down.
Be deeply, deeply afraid.
It's no Chocolate, but if all you need from your entertainment is a tiny woman beating the crap out of everyone for ninety minutes, then this may be the movie for you.
Meet Yi Yi. She's just your average woman/security guard/martial arts instructor/asskicker.
Totally normal.
One day, acting as the bodyguard of a rich couple, they get kidnapped right under her nose. I'm sure it was supposed to tense and dramatic but all I could think was "JESUS CHRIST LOOK AT HER OUTFIT."
I... I have a thing for women in suits.
This is a kitchen fight where she squeezes herself through impossibly tiny counters and beats her opponent with skillets. HAHAHA.
COOK YOUR OWN DAMN DINNER! DOWN WITH THE PATRIARCHY! *FLINGS BRA*
Taking a lesson from the Jeeja Yanin school of diplomacy, Yi Yi goes on a knuckle-cracking mission to find her kidnapped employers.
An intriguing thing about Coweb's fight scenes is that they go on forever, spilling into multiple locations and pretty much lasting until Yi Yi's opponent can no longer stand. Her skill isn't just in her technique -- it's in outlasting every other motherfucker in the room.
Weep, you sorry bastard.
I know what you're thinking. "Great, two women catfighting in water for spectators." Except Yi Yi refuses to play. She stays in her hoodie the entire time and almost boredly beats up the other woman, completely ignoring the audience.
When your heroine is just too cool for fanservice.
SHE'S LIKE JACKIE CHAN THE GYMNAST. IT'S TOO FABULOUS FOR WORDS. LOOK AT HER GO.
FUCKING AWESOME.
WHEN HER OPPONENTS ARE BREAKDANCERS, SHE SIMPLY INCORPORATES BREAKDANCING IN HER OWN MARTIAL ARTS ON THE FLY.
I TAKE SUCH DELIGHT IN THIS! IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!
In this scene you think "oh man, that's a lot of guys, even she can't..."
Then she takes out her nunchucks.
I can't explain the glee in watching one woman take on two dozen goons armed with nothing but a pink hoodie and some nunchucks.
If you're wondering about the hoodie collection, it's not just a design thing, but a practical character trait...
...considering what she looks like without them.
Seriously, who fucks with someone like this? Who looks at an pissed-off, busted-up, one-woman hurricane snarling where are they? and thinks anything but OH JESUS I SHOULD GIVE HER EVERYTHING SHE WANTS?
If you mess with this face, you bring your fate upon yourself.
I'm trying to avoid spoilers, but let me just say that in her final fight, when she's gone through an entire movie's worth of henchmen and has reached her pure physical breaking point for bullshit, she starts punctuating her moves with screams. Not hysterical woman screaming, but like, instead of going "hiYAH!" with her kicks, she lets out little screams of rage every time she beats that sorry asshole down.
Be deeply, deeply afraid.