(no subject)

[rainrunner85]

All this talk about relationships have been making me think about relationships also. I mean even if you still have such deep feelings for someone how long am I supposed to wait? Am I not supposed to wait at all? Am I supposed to make a call based on her actions? What? I really have no idea. I mean most of my family and friends are telling me to move on. They say that I am just looking for more heartache by waiting. I don't know. I mean how are you supposed to be in a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but say maybe someday? Do I go out and look for a girl exactly like her? I know that will be pointless because there is no girl even close to be as amazing as her. Every time I say to myself that I am going to move on tomorrow I will sleep on it and dream of all the fun times we had together. Then the next morning I won't want to move on at all. I want to wait forever. Is that the right thing to do or is it a hopeless dream? What does a person do when he heart is constantly away from his body? We still have so much fun when we hang out together that it makes me feel like there may still be a chance for us. There is still that deep connection between us and I know that she feels it too because I can still see it in her eyes. Maybe I am blinded by love, and there is nothing I can do about it. Everyone keeps saying to move on but love is not the easiest thing to just forget about and shut off especially since I see her so much still. Then I will still see her for South Park nights because that is our special night that we could never do with anyone else... ever. Hell we might be in our 30s and still get together for South Park on Wednesday ;) Right Dez? I really don't know what I should do or what I will do in the future. I know what I want in the future but that might be a dream that will sit there always just out of reach. Just to taunt me. I don't need another one of those. I already have one and it is called "being a doctor". Well the ball is not in my court anymore... I am not even in the same game anymore. I just have to sit on the sidelines, watch, wait, and hope. That will be the hardest thing for me to do because I am not a person that can just sit and do nothing.

I will write more later but I think it is time for dinner and Halo with Fezzy. Yay!!!!