All alone
Well I got now sleep last night because I couldn't sleep and I was not able to do any work because I was not able to focus because my brain was preoccupied. Today was another downer day. I can't really talk with anyone because no one understands. I feel so alone and empty almost like there is a hole going right through me. I don't know exactly why, and this depresses me because I felt like this way once before and it was not my prouder time. I was helped out of that once I came here my freshman year. I tried to cheer myself up by hanging out with Brian, Fez, and Josh and playing video games with them but that didn't help. I couldn't even focus on the game. This weekend I just feel like being alone and figuring out all the shit going on in my life, how to turn it around, and how to fix lives that I have basically completely messed up. I just want this misery to end for everyone that I care about. I hate putting them through this. I am sorry to everyone I have hurt or have gone off on these last couple of weeks. I'm really sorry.
This weekend is fun fun homework time. I have to finish my Western Civ paper by Sunday so that Desiree can have the books when she gets back. Then I have a speech outline due on Monday that I haven't started doing research on but I am not too worried because it is on stem cell research and I know alot about that. Then I have three books and a book review to finish by the 29th. I haven't really started reading the books. I think I am going to pull an all nighter all weekend and then go to bed early Sunday. I don't know. Anyway, I am going to be swamped until December. I know this is not as bad as some people have it but it does suck. I think it will be good though because then I have time after Thanksgiving break to study for finals. Oh and I have a big chem test on Tuesday. Almost forgot about that.
Here is the only really good news I have (FINALLY). Tomorrow I might be able to get the PICC line removed. I would be so happy because then I won't be using the drugs and these side effects will go away. Also I won't have worry about snagging the tube or people accidentally hitting me in the arm which has happened more times than I can count and that really hurts. I can't wait to get it out because then I can sleep normally (not that I am sleeping much).
I think that is all for now. Thanks to all my friends that have tried to help me during this time. Especially Brian and Fez who made me feel better yesterday.
This weekend is fun fun homework time. I have to finish my Western Civ paper by Sunday so that Desiree can have the books when she gets back. Then I have a speech outline due on Monday that I haven't started doing research on but I am not too worried because it is on stem cell research and I know alot about that. Then I have three books and a book review to finish by the 29th. I haven't really started reading the books. I think I am going to pull an all nighter all weekend and then go to bed early Sunday. I don't know. Anyway, I am going to be swamped until December. I know this is not as bad as some people have it but it does suck. I think it will be good though because then I have time after Thanksgiving break to study for finals. Oh and I have a big chem test on Tuesday. Almost forgot about that.
Here is the only really good news I have (FINALLY). Tomorrow I might be able to get the PICC line removed. I would be so happy because then I won't be using the drugs and these side effects will go away. Also I won't have worry about snagging the tube or people accidentally hitting me in the arm which has happened more times than I can count and that really hurts. I can't wait to get it out because then I can sleep normally (not that I am sleeping much).
I think that is all for now. Thanks to all my friends that have tried to help me during this time. Especially Brian and Fez who made me feel better yesterday.