It's been a long, long day...
First of all, after my mum blew up and had her stupid fit last night, I got this inspiration for a song. So, I am going to post my lyrics. I don't know what to do with them, cause they're kind of poetic, but, then, that's usually how that works out... oh well. Here goes. It's called "Lost in the Dark"
I've been wandering through these tunnels in my mind for waht is beginning to feel like centuries. There's an eternity of pain unfolding inside of me. And, though I've tried to ebb the pain and ease my way into sanity, it only seems to be getting harder. And all I ever wonder is where I go from here.
These caverns in my soul keep opening anew everyday. I'm still trying to find the light you told me I'd see. And somewhere in my head is your voice, edging me on and leading me home. But, still, everything in me's in fear.
I turn abother corner in my mind; each new hardship is like a new adventure, constantly making me weaker and stronger all the same.
But, still, somehow all I can do is wait and hope. I wish I could find in me what you keep telling me I never lost.
Well, anyways, that's it. It's not that great, but it was how I felt. And, I just liked it enough to post it. Somehow, I couldn't help but think that maybe it would touch one of you too. *shrugs*
Umm, so... I have been having a very hard time lately, and I hate to complain, but I don't have anyone else. Since most of you have a faint clue into my family, you'll see that no one I live with cares enough to listen to anything I say, and nothing I do means a thing to any one of them... Therefore, I was just going to say that I am really sorry for it.
And, I'm sorry for trying to help in situations that I don't necessarily know anything about. (You know who you are.) And, I have been burning a lot of bridges in my life lately, and I don't want to lose any of you. Because you mean so much to me. So, keep in mind that I will screw up, but sticks with me, because I'm here to stay. And, I will get better.
Let's see... What else... Oh yes. I would like you all to know that whether or not you like Stephani, she is my best friend, and I don't intend to let you continue to talk down about her. No one is perfect, and I'm sure she will apologize to each of you in turn.
I feel like I got a lot accomplished tonight. Granted, everyone hates me and I am still not a great person, bue I have managed to get out a lot of things that I would have never gotten out... Thank you to Austin especially, for listening to me ramble. I just wish I hadn't said everything I said.
Well, I am going to sleep now. I am totally worn out, and I wish you all the best day ever! Make up in goodness the amounts of badness in my life.. lol. How, I just realized how cynical and hysterical my laugher is.. Good night, y'all. Sleep sweet, eh?
*hugs to you all* *luvs*
Sorry again. I really ought to get more things out in smaller bursts, but all of my journals are long instead.. Night again, y'all!
*Muah*
I've been wandering through these tunnels in my mind for waht is beginning to feel like centuries. There's an eternity of pain unfolding inside of me. And, though I've tried to ebb the pain and ease my way into sanity, it only seems to be getting harder. And all I ever wonder is where I go from here.
These caverns in my soul keep opening anew everyday. I'm still trying to find the light you told me I'd see. And somewhere in my head is your voice, edging me on and leading me home. But, still, everything in me's in fear.
I turn abother corner in my mind; each new hardship is like a new adventure, constantly making me weaker and stronger all the same.
But, still, somehow all I can do is wait and hope. I wish I could find in me what you keep telling me I never lost.
Well, anyways, that's it. It's not that great, but it was how I felt. And, I just liked it enough to post it. Somehow, I couldn't help but think that maybe it would touch one of you too. *shrugs*
Umm, so... I have been having a very hard time lately, and I hate to complain, but I don't have anyone else. Since most of you have a faint clue into my family, you'll see that no one I live with cares enough to listen to anything I say, and nothing I do means a thing to any one of them... Therefore, I was just going to say that I am really sorry for it.
And, I'm sorry for trying to help in situations that I don't necessarily know anything about. (You know who you are.) And, I have been burning a lot of bridges in my life lately, and I don't want to lose any of you. Because you mean so much to me. So, keep in mind that I will screw up, but sticks with me, because I'm here to stay. And, I will get better.
Let's see... What else... Oh yes. I would like you all to know that whether or not you like Stephani, she is my best friend, and I don't intend to let you continue to talk down about her. No one is perfect, and I'm sure she will apologize to each of you in turn.
I feel like I got a lot accomplished tonight. Granted, everyone hates me and I am still not a great person, bue I have managed to get out a lot of things that I would have never gotten out... Thank you to Austin especially, for listening to me ramble. I just wish I hadn't said everything I said.
Well, I am going to sleep now. I am totally worn out, and I wish you all the best day ever! Make up in goodness the amounts of badness in my life.. lol. How, I just realized how cynical and hysterical my laugher is.. Good night, y'all. Sleep sweet, eh?
*hugs to you all* *luvs*
Sorry again. I really ought to get more things out in smaller bursts, but all of my journals are long instead.. Night again, y'all!
*Muah*