Fic: Under The Sea
Title: Under The Sea
Summary: I’d just also like to see MIs treated as…you know, normal. I want the casual mention of Blaine’s diagnosis in a fic that has nothing to do with mental illness. I want the fluff fic about Blaine being worried that going out tonight might trigger something, because today was a long day, so he and Kurt stay in and eat cheesecake and cuddle on the couch.
Word Count: 1,600
Warning: depression
Author's Notes: my darling Sarah is having a rough day, so this is for her <3
Title comes from The Little Mermaid.
(Also, tmi: Blaine says at one point trigger warning. That's what I do when something is coming close to triggering me. It's a way to try and ward it off)
Kurt sings as he presses one shirt against his chest, and then the other. He doesn’t turn around when he hears the door open, but can’t help the smile bubbling up on his lips. He’s been looking forward to this party all week. They’ve both been so busy that they’ve missed date night for the past three weeks, and this party was the perfect excuse to demand they both come home early and spend some time together. Kurt had been about to strangle Chase with one of those godawful belts he kept bringing in to try and convince Kurt that chartreuse is in when he finally ran out the door.
He finally puts down the (black with silver buttons) shirt and walks out with the (purple, tailored) other shirt in hand.
“Hey Blaine, what do you think of this one?” He smoothes the fabric fondly, relishing the silk, “With my raven broach?”
“You always look wonderful.”
Kurt frowns. Blaine always tries to give Kurt input on his outfits, even when he clearly has no idea of the subtle differences between his azure and cerulean bowties. “Blaine?”
“Sorry,” Blaine doesn’t look up from where he’s locking the door. It takes him longer than usual, as he focuses on closing the door. Kurt waits for him to make sure the door is definitely closed tight.
“You don’t want to go out today, do you?”
“No, no, it’s fine.”
Kurt tries not to let that hurt.
“Long day?” He says, light as he can. He raises his eyebrows and thinks of boys stripped of their Warbler outfits.
Blaine sighs. “You have no idea.”
Kurt reaches out to touch his shoulder and Blaine flinches. Immediately, he looks ashamed.
“Sorry, I know you aren’t, you just”
“Long day,” Kurt echoes, and lets Blaine pull him in on his own time.
“It was parent teacher conferences,” It comes out like a confession, whispered against Kurt’s neck like a prayer.
“Oh Blaine,” Kurt sighs, stroking the back of Blaine’s neck. He’d forgotten that it was that time of year. He’s been so busy with his new line, and just - he cuts himself before he can blame himself for being too busy, or blame Blaine for trying too hard to be strong, and settles for blaming helicopter parents instead, “They’re all ridiculous. Don’t worry about them, just worry about the kids.”
“Hmmm, my coworkers all call it crazy day” Blaine laughs against his lips. It tastes bitter, and Kurt wonders how many cups of cheap coffee Blaine has drunk just to have something at his mouth, something to hide his face and keep him from screaming. “When the looney bin opens up and they let all the parents out to play."
Kurt’s stomach twists. “Assholes,” he says lightly.
“It’s not like they don’t know,” Blaine says softly, because Blaine wouldn’t be Blaine if he didn’t. He didn’t even let Kurt kill spiders; he carried them down to the street himself, cupping their tiny bodies within his huge, careful hands. “They all like me.”
Kurt doesn’t ask “who wouldn’t?” because he knows that there will always be people who won’t. Instead, he plays with the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck, the ones just starting to escape from the gel, and drawls, “Wee-ell, I guess I can maybe see their point.” He ticks off points against the thin skin of Blaine’s neck with his other hand. “Brings in home made cookies, cleans up his classrooms so the janitors don’t have to, is the first to volunteer for cafeteria and recess duties, is disgustingly cheerful in the mornings-“
“Mornings are one of the best parts of the day!” Blaine sounds so affronted that Kurt has to laugh at him. “No really! It’s quiet and sharp, and the city is still moving but it’s… different. Like I’m walking through a movie set.” His breath caught. “And I get to choose the genre.”
“Mmmm, I think the nights are a little better,” He teases, because otherwise he might melt with love, and slips his hand lower until it’s resting teasingly above Blaine’s backside.
“Kurrtt,” Blaine whines. “We - we have to get ready for the party.”
Kurt draws back, but keeps one hand anchored on Blaine. “Do you want to go to the party?”
Blaine looks away. Kurt watches the muscles in his neck jump like a fish on a hook. “We promised we’d go.”
“It’s a yes or no answer,” It’s still hard, years later, to not needle or raise his eyebrows or huff because I know what you want better than you do Blaine Warbler, so you’d best just follow my lead. But he keeps his face carefully blank, because he’s spent too many years watching bad law movies with Quinn and listening to her tear apart their cases and mutter threateningly about leading the witness.
“I just-“ Blaine scowls at him, “I just want to have a nice night, okay?”
“As long as we’re together, it’ll be a nice night” Kurt says, because the other answer is hitting Blaine across the head with his prescription bottle, and maybe a chair to follow it up.
Blaine doesn’t look back at him, just looks at the kitchen. “It’s been a while since I made you cheesecake.” It’s an offer, a plea for an out after a long day.
Kurt doesn’t move, “I do love cheesecake.”
Blaine sighs. “I don’t want to go out. I don’t want to have to stand all night, I don’t want to have to make small talk,” A shudder runs down his body at the idea, and Kurt holds him just a little closer. “I don’t want to have to smile all night.” His fingers tighten painfully on Kurt’s waist. “It feels like I’m drowning,” he confesses, “Like I’m holding my breathe and it burns, Kurt. But I’m,” He closes his eyes, “I’m scared of trying to take a breathe.”
“Is that a coy way of asking for mouth to mouth?” Kurt asks, and blinks so he won’t tear up. Blaine makes a choked sound that’s half laugh half sob.
“I just want -“ Blaine’s voice cracks, “I just want to rest for a little bit.” He fiddles with the ring on Kurt’s finger, and finally whispers, “Trigger warning.”
Kurt kisses him, long and slow and dirty. When he breaks away, Blaine’s eyes look glazed, but in a decidedly good way this time. “I think tonight is a chocolate cheesecake night.”
Blaine raises an eyebrow, “That’s kind of decadent, isn’t it?” It’s a half-hearted tease, but Kurt still flushes.
“It’s delicious, is what it is.” He puts as much affront and ruffled feathers into it as he can, just to watch the way Blaine’s eyes crinkle as he laughs.
He drags Blaine into the kitchen as he bitches about his day. He’s known Blaine since they were sixteen and oh so scared. He knows how to make Blaine laugh, really laugh, where his mouth opens farcically wide like a muppet and his eyes crinkle at the corners. When Kurt comes home, red eyed and hoarse from choking back screams, Blaine knows how to kiss his neck and rub his back until Kurt comes back to himself. Marriage is a partnership, he thinks as he flicks melted chocolate onto Blaine’s nose, it’s knowing how to deal with someone who is so perfectly imperfect.
--
“I don’t understand,” Blaine sounds so personally offended that Kurt nearly chokes on his cheesecake laughing, “How can she possibly think that those go together?”
He pats Blaine on the shoulder, “The world is a scary place sometimes, sweetie.”
Blaine grumbles into his cheesecake and changes the channel to Sing! “I swear to god, if Bradley doesn’t kiss Kris this episode, I’m going to…” Kurt waits. “To…” Blaine scrunches his whole face up, “To do something really drastic.”
Kurt’s stomach aches with suppressed laughter, “Says the man who teared up at the idea of stepping on a spider.”
“Spiders eat bugs, they’re a crucial part of the ecosystem,” Blaine sulks, but he takes the bite of cheesecake off Kurt’s fork.
“Don’t worry,” Kurt kissed the side of Blaine’s mouth, and tasted chocolate and Burt Bees, “I have faith in Kradley."
“Besides,” Kurt adds, waggling his eyebrows, “I bet they’re going at it like rabbits off screen."
“Kurrrtt,” Blaine laughs, and Kurt basks in the warm glow of pride and love.
“What, you mean you wouldn’t be, if your boyfriend looked like that?” Kurt’s very aware of how he looks, but… well. Those boys are certainly worth the top spot on AfterElton’s Hottest Men page. Definitely worth the obsessive weekend he spent voting to help get them there.
“Hmmmm,” Blaine looks at him, just looks at him, and Kurt nearly starts crying. Blaine’s fingers are reverent as they touch his cheek, stop the tear before it can begin. “I wouldn’t want my husband to look any other way.” He kisses Kurt’s eyelashes. Kurt lets out a long, low shudder that he feels all the way down to his bones. “Besides,” Kurt feels a jolt of arousal rocket through him with almost painful speed as Blaine’s grin turns wicked. “I think we go at it often enough already don’t you?”
“I don’t know,” Kurt says breathlessly, “I think we could stand to do it a little more often."
“Greedy,” Blaine’s laugh is a soft huff of breath against Kurt’s lips.
“You wouldn’t have me any other way,” Kurt moans, as he slides a hand up under Blaine’s shirt.
“Never,” Blaine’s eyes sparkle as he pulls away. He carefully tucks an errant curl back behind Kurt’s ear, and Kurt’s heart nearly bursts at the tenderness in his face. “You’re perfect.”
“Perfectly imperfect?” Kurt teases, his breath catching as Blaine pops the button on his jeans.
“Perfectly imperfect,” Blaine agrees, and seals their mouths together in a promise.
--
“Tomorrow, I’m going to go back into the world,” Blaine whispers against the thin skin of Kurt’s neck “Even though usually I’d rather just hide here.”
Kurt ruts against the sheets shamelessly. He knows Blaine isn’t talking about their home, knows that somedays Blaine would sew himself into Kurt’s skin and hide in his bones if he could.
Blaine traces Kurt’s spine with his tongue, and Kurt arches and aches. He’d let Blaine, he’d be Blaine’s whole world if it would help. But it wouldn’t.
“I love you,” He gasps.
Blaine slips one finger inside him, “I know.” He crooks it up, just the way he knows Kurt likes it, “I love you too.”