Rethinking maternity leave, and OH MY BACK!
Today I am 33 weeks. I've got 3-7 weeks left, depending on circumstances. I'm getting extremely nervous. I don't know if I can handle a baby. My mind goes (in the matter of a split second) between the *I can't do it, I don't want a baby! I'm SCARED!* to *I can't wait to cuddle him, and hold him, and love him, yay!* I can't handle how crazy my mind is getting. 33 weeks, I've been pregnant for a really long time, and I still have a bit of time to go. Hopefully, with school, and friends I'll start feeling happier, and the time will fly until I give birth! That's just hopes though...
Brandon came home yesterday and said, "We need to talk" I was a little worried, because things have been going really great. It turns out that he wants me to take my leave earlier then on my EDD (expected due date). (My original plan) He said I should take it when school starts. It was really sweet of him to be so serious. He even said that if I don't want to go back to work, and we can still afford rent and bills that I really SHOULDN'T go back to work too soon. This was partially because he is noticing I'm in a lot of pain, I'm irritable, tired, and physically drained... and partially because all of those things makes me very bitchy, and he wants me to feel better, as well as be nicer to those around me... I agree. So I think I will take my leave in about two weeks or less, and possibly not go back right away... Maybe not until next summer.
All in all, as much as I bitch, the pregnancy has been quite good, and I'm starting to really be happy that I've experienced being pregnant. It's been crazy, hard, beautiful, and weird, but I think I've been strong, and have had SOOO much support. I'm realizing how close to the end it really is, that it's no longer me and Brandon it's the family, us three Brandon, Aydin, and me... VERY SOON!
I just want to say to everyone, and I'll say it more then once: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank you for realizing that I'm not just a 16 year old girl... that I am a woman, a friend, and now a mother... Thank you for accepting Brandon and I into your lives, even when we were at our worst. Thank you for the baby supplies, the emotional support, the kick in the ass, and the reality checks... Thanks Angela for loving me and for showing Brandon and I what friendship and trust is. Thank you Dannielle for going through it first, for telling me that you know we can do it, and for your bits of advice, Dave too! Gosh, I have too many people to thank which is a FABULOUS thing... Just everyone, Tiff, Erin, Marie, Nikki, Doug, Derek, Sean, Jordyn. ANYONE AND EVERYONE, who has rubbed the belly, hugged me, said that we can do it, and helped with supplies, hung out with us and enjoyed our company. SO THANKS!
I really hope that I will be more social after this pregnancy, because I've really only spent time with a couple of people. I'm looking forward to life with Aydin and Brandon, and I hope that I'll make new friends to share it with and also maintain the wonderful friendships I have right now...
Well, School starts in 5 days, and then College starts in 18 days!!! AHH.
Love always Julie
X-Posted in Myspace.
Brandon came home yesterday and said, "We need to talk" I was a little worried, because things have been going really great. It turns out that he wants me to take my leave earlier then on my EDD (expected due date). (My original plan) He said I should take it when school starts. It was really sweet of him to be so serious. He even said that if I don't want to go back to work, and we can still afford rent and bills that I really SHOULDN'T go back to work too soon. This was partially because he is noticing I'm in a lot of pain, I'm irritable, tired, and physically drained... and partially because all of those things makes me very bitchy, and he wants me to feel better, as well as be nicer to those around me... I agree. So I think I will take my leave in about two weeks or less, and possibly not go back right away... Maybe not until next summer.
All in all, as much as I bitch, the pregnancy has been quite good, and I'm starting to really be happy that I've experienced being pregnant. It's been crazy, hard, beautiful, and weird, but I think I've been strong, and have had SOOO much support. I'm realizing how close to the end it really is, that it's no longer me and Brandon it's the family, us three Brandon, Aydin, and me... VERY SOON!
I just want to say to everyone, and I'll say it more then once: THANK YOU SO MUCH. Thank you for realizing that I'm not just a 16 year old girl... that I am a woman, a friend, and now a mother... Thank you for accepting Brandon and I into your lives, even when we were at our worst. Thank you for the baby supplies, the emotional support, the kick in the ass, and the reality checks... Thanks Angela for loving me and for showing Brandon and I what friendship and trust is. Thank you Dannielle for going through it first, for telling me that you know we can do it, and for your bits of advice, Dave too! Gosh, I have too many people to thank which is a FABULOUS thing... Just everyone, Tiff, Erin, Marie, Nikki, Doug, Derek, Sean, Jordyn. ANYONE AND EVERYONE, who has rubbed the belly, hugged me, said that we can do it, and helped with supplies, hung out with us and enjoyed our company. SO THANKS!
I really hope that I will be more social after this pregnancy, because I've really only spent time with a couple of people. I'm looking forward to life with Aydin and Brandon, and I hope that I'll make new friends to share it with and also maintain the wonderful friendships I have right now...
Well, School starts in 5 days, and then College starts in 18 days!!! AHH.
Love always Julie
X-Posted in Myspace.