Going insane!
I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant and I can't stand it anymore! I'm big, sweaty, swollen, and I can't BREATH. Rolling over, bending down, sleeping, and even tying my work shoes has become a very difficult tasks. I've gained 13 pound, and I feel like my weight is going to SKYROCKET this and next month. At the rate I'm going, I can barely move, let alone burn any calories, and all that I can really do is lay around and eat... SOMEONE COME AND SAVE ME! I have 6-10 weeks left, it was going quickly and now it is going slowly again.
I haven't even THOUGHT about shaving my legs. Having sex has basically become impossible. And I only want three things right now... Just three. 1. A mango-tini 2.To be able to sleep in ANY position I want 3.To hold my baby in my arms and not my belly.
I'm getting more and more scared about giving birth. Earlier in my pregnancy I didn't even really think about it. I was excited, I knew it would hurt... Now I am scared of the epidural needle (if I get one) I'm scared of the doctor poking and proding, I'm scared of an extremely long labor... I'm just so scared and nervous. I haven't taken a childbirth, newborn care, or breastfeeding class, and I have no idea how on earth I could fit it into my schedule... I don't know how to change a diaper, I don't know how to hold a baby, I don't know if I will even like him...
Is that aweful to say? I'm scared of my own son...
I went to my Grandmas house yesterday... She started crying, held my belly, rubbed it, kissed it... and said "He's coming VERY soon" She also kept saying "Oh the pain, I'm so sorry" She went through 5 births... So I think that she knows what she's talking about. She wasn't trying to scare me, I think she is scared for me because I am HER baby, and now I am having MY own baby, and she just doesn't want me to go through the pain...
Also, my neighbor came down, and within a very short little conversation mentioned "Oh you're definately going early" Why are people saying that too me...? I don't want to go early even though I hate being pregnant. I know that preterm births are unhealthy, and less likely to successfully breastfeed... Also, I don't want my baby to be stuck in a hospital. I just don't want to be pregnant... Happy medium?
I'm just rambling... I have mixed feelings, and raging hormones... Not to mention babies suck out your brain, so I don't expect any of my entries to sound logical, or mature...
Thanks for caring.
I haven't even THOUGHT about shaving my legs. Having sex has basically become impossible. And I only want three things right now... Just three. 1. A mango-tini 2.To be able to sleep in ANY position I want 3.To hold my baby in my arms and not my belly.
I'm getting more and more scared about giving birth. Earlier in my pregnancy I didn't even really think about it. I was excited, I knew it would hurt... Now I am scared of the epidural needle (if I get one) I'm scared of the doctor poking and proding, I'm scared of an extremely long labor... I'm just so scared and nervous. I haven't taken a childbirth, newborn care, or breastfeeding class, and I have no idea how on earth I could fit it into my schedule... I don't know how to change a diaper, I don't know how to hold a baby, I don't know if I will even like him...
Is that aweful to say? I'm scared of my own son...
I went to my Grandmas house yesterday... She started crying, held my belly, rubbed it, kissed it... and said "He's coming VERY soon" She also kept saying "Oh the pain, I'm so sorry" She went through 5 births... So I think that she knows what she's talking about. She wasn't trying to scare me, I think she is scared for me because I am HER baby, and now I am having MY own baby, and she just doesn't want me to go through the pain...
Also, my neighbor came down, and within a very short little conversation mentioned "Oh you're definately going early" Why are people saying that too me...? I don't want to go early even though I hate being pregnant. I know that preterm births are unhealthy, and less likely to successfully breastfeed... Also, I don't want my baby to be stuck in a hospital. I just don't want to be pregnant... Happy medium?
I'm just rambling... I have mixed feelings, and raging hormones... Not to mention babies suck out your brain, so I don't expect any of my entries to sound logical, or mature...
Thanks for caring.