hey you.!! Read this!! COMMENT!!
Father knows best-> 3/11/2005
Okay well after discussing everything with my boyfriend, he realized that he needs to prove himself to me because he has hurt me way to much in such a short time of being together. He knows that he messed up over and over and that now he's got to do a lot of shit to earn my trust back. I also explained to him that if he would of told me the day after it happened I would of been like "well I dont like it, but thats alright thanks for telling me..." and I would of said "No more talking to Holly" and that would of been that but the fact he said to her "I will cheat on my girl with you" hurt me and then he did phone sex. He planned on going and seeing her- Well thats what he told Holly anyway-
And after of putting some deep thought into everything I realized sometimes people get heated in the moment and say things they don't mean because it makes the phone sex/ cyber more real and makes it easy for a guy to let go. So I could understand that he said it because he was horny but what he needs to realize is that some girls take it seriously and will take it to heart.
Anyhow->
He knows what he has got to do, he certain things he cant do because he has been a jerkoff to me. Like alright we had problems with his other ex a while ago and then I found sites, he spent 50 bucks on and I found photos of his friends kinda skanky.. so yea I dont have much trust in him at all and he needs to earn it back, well he totally understand that and I have been noticing some changes but it still hurts to know that he came to another girl even though he said " I was thinking of you" I dont know what to believe.. Im quite ticked at the BIOTCH Holly because she had a boyfriend to at the time, and shes trying to make Ry seem all bad when she did the same thing. I don't get why girls are so hypocritical sometimes..
My father told me some really good stories of people he knew and I also talked to my friends who have been through some of the same things and I came up with that its not normal, but its not completely different- that guys will watch porn and what not.
But my point is .. thats someone daughter, their little girl.. and would you want your little girl doing that stuff? Would you want them to be watched? Sometimes people get so down on their luck that they turn to that stuff and well I think that if you are someone who accepts it and is willing to watch those people then your just as much a loser as them.. Im just saying in that instance, your not a loser in all things just if you get off watching someones little girl have sex.
My father also told me to do what's in my heart? And I know that everyone keeps telling me to leave him and that sooner or later I will find someone to cherish me... But honestly you don't know how I feel about him. I love him more than anything in this world and thats why it hurt me so bad, if it was some other person it wouldn't be as bad.. I would be like okay whatever! and left but I am going to stay and I value everyone's opinion on the situation because all the different feedback helps me think things through because I have people from all walks of life telling me what they think, and sometimes I may agree or disagree but I still value your comments.
On another note yesterday Ryans car's alternator went BANG! BYE BYE! and yea we had to get that fixed today, so CHICHAWANGA! haha I got that from this cool ass chick named Mallory, one of Ryan's friends that I totally approve of because she helped me through this situation.. She is very dissapointed in him because she has known him FOREVER and she didn't think it was right to hurt me like that.
Her exact words were "When I look at her picture I see a sweet girl, and she doesn't deserve this. You had no right to do that to her or to anyone."
See Im sad because I never thought I would feel this way about Ryan, I never thought that he would do this.. I never thought that I would be going through this with him.. Funny thing is everytime I ever thought he was lying and he would go "im not lying" he really was, he told that to one of my friends Davie and than told me yesterday.
Im just kind of dissapointed in him myself, but its nothing that I dont think we can get through in the long run.. Maybe right now things will be tough and rigid but I think with a little time and effort things will be smoothed over.
I remember a theme a couple weeks ago, not its exact but its asking Do you think love can conquer all problems.. And honestly if you are so much in love with someone that you can't see yourself without them I think that you can conquer all. But as if he cheated "intercourse" fully I would be so long gone and he would never get me back EVER!
Well he's changing his phone number and is going to hopefully change his screenname because he needs to get away from the drama and fully work to save this relationship because I think we are meant to be and he needs to get my trust back.
I love you Ryan, I think we will pull through and have a amazing relationship in the end.. I think later on in life we will look back at this and say "wow we were so young and stupid" ya know what I mean?
xoxoxoxo
Brittany
Okay well after discussing everything with my boyfriend, he realized that he needs to prove himself to me because he has hurt me way to much in such a short time of being together. He knows that he messed up over and over and that now he's got to do a lot of shit to earn my trust back. I also explained to him that if he would of told me the day after it happened I would of been like "well I dont like it, but thats alright thanks for telling me..." and I would of said "No more talking to Holly" and that would of been that but the fact he said to her "I will cheat on my girl with you" hurt me and then he did phone sex. He planned on going and seeing her- Well thats what he told Holly anyway-
And after of putting some deep thought into everything I realized sometimes people get heated in the moment and say things they don't mean because it makes the phone sex/ cyber more real and makes it easy for a guy to let go. So I could understand that he said it because he was horny but what he needs to realize is that some girls take it seriously and will take it to heart.
Anyhow->
He knows what he has got to do, he certain things he cant do because he has been a jerkoff to me. Like alright we had problems with his other ex a while ago and then I found sites, he spent 50 bucks on and I found photos of his friends kinda skanky.. so yea I dont have much trust in him at all and he needs to earn it back, well he totally understand that and I have been noticing some changes but it still hurts to know that he came to another girl even though he said " I was thinking of you" I dont know what to believe.. Im quite ticked at the BIOTCH Holly because she had a boyfriend to at the time, and shes trying to make Ry seem all bad when she did the same thing. I don't get why girls are so hypocritical sometimes..
My father told me some really good stories of people he knew and I also talked to my friends who have been through some of the same things and I came up with that its not normal, but its not completely different- that guys will watch porn and what not.
But my point is .. thats someone daughter, their little girl.. and would you want your little girl doing that stuff? Would you want them to be watched? Sometimes people get so down on their luck that they turn to that stuff and well I think that if you are someone who accepts it and is willing to watch those people then your just as much a loser as them.. Im just saying in that instance, your not a loser in all things just if you get off watching someones little girl have sex.
My father also told me to do what's in my heart? And I know that everyone keeps telling me to leave him and that sooner or later I will find someone to cherish me... But honestly you don't know how I feel about him. I love him more than anything in this world and thats why it hurt me so bad, if it was some other person it wouldn't be as bad.. I would be like okay whatever! and left but I am going to stay and I value everyone's opinion on the situation because all the different feedback helps me think things through because I have people from all walks of life telling me what they think, and sometimes I may agree or disagree but I still value your comments.
On another note yesterday Ryans car's alternator went BANG! BYE BYE! and yea we had to get that fixed today, so CHICHAWANGA! haha I got that from this cool ass chick named Mallory, one of Ryan's friends that I totally approve of because she helped me through this situation.. She is very dissapointed in him because she has known him FOREVER and she didn't think it was right to hurt me like that.
Her exact words were "When I look at her picture I see a sweet girl, and she doesn't deserve this. You had no right to do that to her or to anyone."
See Im sad because I never thought I would feel this way about Ryan, I never thought that he would do this.. I never thought that I would be going through this with him.. Funny thing is everytime I ever thought he was lying and he would go "im not lying" he really was, he told that to one of my friends Davie and than told me yesterday.
Im just kind of dissapointed in him myself, but its nothing that I dont think we can get through in the long run.. Maybe right now things will be tough and rigid but I think with a little time and effort things will be smoothed over.
I remember a theme a couple weeks ago, not its exact but its asking Do you think love can conquer all problems.. And honestly if you are so much in love with someone that you can't see yourself without them I think that you can conquer all. But as if he cheated "intercourse" fully I would be so long gone and he would never get me back EVER!
Well he's changing his phone number and is going to hopefully change his screenname because he needs to get away from the drama and fully work to save this relationship because I think we are meant to be and he needs to get my trust back.
I love you Ryan, I think we will pull through and have a amazing relationship in the end.. I think later on in life we will look back at this and say "wow we were so young and stupid" ya know what I mean?
xoxoxoxo
Brittany