dont believe me when i say everything is alright
so, as of thursday the 11th, i am dating tim.
not walter.
walter, who is possibly moving back to p.a. because his mother is a whore, is about to date some girl named kayla.
i dont know what is going on.
i love him. and i want to be with him later, he agrees.
he needs to fucking grow up.
and i need to remember to breathe.
why am i so depressed all the time.
yesterday:
work from 10-4.
sit in the fireside parking lot eating mcdonalds for 45 minutes, just to see tim for 11 minutes, before he had to run to his second job.
picked up johnna.
picked up dawn, melissa and charles.
dropped off johnna.
went to the mall, shopped by myself.
met up with dawn, melissa and charles.
went to the sex shop.
drop them off.
pick up johnna.
denny's.
drop off johnna.
cry.
sleep in my car parked outside the old mom house for an hour.
drive to fireside.
fall asleep in parking lot for 30 minutes.
12:00.
tim tells me his boss is making him stay until close, 2 a.m.
kisses me.
go home.
sleep.
and i actually made it through all that while not saying anything worth while to anyone.
and yes, i did need you to stay out with me.
but it doesnt matter.
tonight: fireside with aunt linda.
is it bad that i have to go to his work just to see him?
not walter.
walter, who is possibly moving back to p.a. because his mother is a whore, is about to date some girl named kayla.
i dont know what is going on.
i love him. and i want to be with him later, he agrees.
he needs to fucking grow up.
and i need to remember to breathe.
why am i so depressed all the time.
yesterday:
work from 10-4.
sit in the fireside parking lot eating mcdonalds for 45 minutes, just to see tim for 11 minutes, before he had to run to his second job.
picked up johnna.
picked up dawn, melissa and charles.
dropped off johnna.
went to the mall, shopped by myself.
met up with dawn, melissa and charles.
went to the sex shop.
drop them off.
pick up johnna.
denny's.
drop off johnna.
cry.
sleep in my car parked outside the old mom house for an hour.
drive to fireside.
fall asleep in parking lot for 30 minutes.
12:00.
tim tells me his boss is making him stay until close, 2 a.m.
kisses me.
go home.
sleep.
and i actually made it through all that while not saying anything worth while to anyone.
and yes, i did need you to stay out with me.
but it doesnt matter.
tonight: fireside with aunt linda.
is it bad that i have to go to his work just to see him?