(no subject)
i woke up at 8:30 this morning and had an urge to go running. so i did. and it started raining on me. yay.
things have been strange around this house with just me in it for the majority of the time. i miss having erin and cristin around. this is what it's going to be like every day next year, except i'll have school to keep me busy some. but every day, i'm going to come home, alone, and try to pass the time alone. some people wouldn't think it's that bad b/c that's what they've always done. but i have never been alone in my life. i've never been the only child. it's made me who i am, too i think. i am a very dependent person. i have always depended on my siblings, friends, parents to help me/do things for me/just be there. i don't enjoy being alone for long periods of time. even if i'm not talking to the person, i like someone to just be there with me. watching tv with my sister is way better than watching tv alone. i've noticed when i'm alone, i start talking to myself. like i will want to say something about a show or something, but there's noone there to say it. but i don't realize that till after i say it and then i feel kinda stupid. i'm like, damn, i really wanted to laugh at that with someone. it's true, everything in life is better if shared with someone. i sound kind of corny, but i can't help it. whatever.
i need a job, too. not some stupid job at some typical store or something. i want a cool job, something different, maybe even fun at times. but i have no idea what that would be. i kind of want to umpire for like t-ball or something, but i tihnk i had to take the classes over the winter. maybe i could still get in if they need people. cause that wouldnt be too hard of a job, unless the parents are mean. then i dont want to deal with it. but for little kids, the parents probably aren't even paying attention. but if i don't do that, i'll probably just work at price chopper or something. booooring. it's so close to my house though and just a typical job for a teen. i just don't want to clean bathrooms. oh well. there's worse things in life, right? or maybe i could work at old ballgame. nah. those dudes who work there kinda scare me. see, i'm kinda afraid to get a job cause i'm kinda afraid of people. not so much afraid as uncomfortable. i just don't know what to do or say in certain situations. i always worry if i will do or say the wrong thing and they will hate me or think i'm stupid. but at the same time i don't want to care if they hate me. i don't want to please people, but i don't want to displease them. i need to learn how to deal with people eventually though for the future, so i might as well start now. well, if you have any suggestions for work, help me. thanks.
past two days have just rained rained rained. the softball camp thing i'm helping with got rained out the past 2 days so now i have to go friday and monday. i'm rakin up 80 bucks though, so it's all good. i hope i get some new babysitting jobs too. maybe the kids will put in some good words for me. i think one girl already did, but i want to babysit this other girl too. kids are so awesome sometimes, but they can also be so annoying. kids are cool cause they get me all hyper and stuff. they suprise me sometimes with how much they know and what they can do. and i love making people laugh and for people to like me, and usually kids like me or else they think i'm too weird. but usually weird is good cause kids are weird too. haha. i guess i'm pretty good with kids, i just try to have fun. except sometimes they just get on my nerves. like this one girl got really attached to me and told me she wants me to be her big sister and stuff, so i was all like, awwwww thats so cute. but then she started to get really clingy, like she would stand by me all the time and latch arms with me and stuff. and i don't want ot mean to her, but i just don't want her hanging on to me all the time. but being a camp counselor for little kids could be a fun job too, but its too late for that this summer.
ok. this entry is way too long. congratulations if you read it all.
i hope everyone's summer is going good. mine is pretty uneventful and boring so far. but the europe kids get home today! after an emergency landing in canada, they are finally getting home. that means group hang out time and dan :o) YAY
ok for real. bye
things have been strange around this house with just me in it for the majority of the time. i miss having erin and cristin around. this is what it's going to be like every day next year, except i'll have school to keep me busy some. but every day, i'm going to come home, alone, and try to pass the time alone. some people wouldn't think it's that bad b/c that's what they've always done. but i have never been alone in my life. i've never been the only child. it's made me who i am, too i think. i am a very dependent person. i have always depended on my siblings, friends, parents to help me/do things for me/just be there. i don't enjoy being alone for long periods of time. even if i'm not talking to the person, i like someone to just be there with me. watching tv with my sister is way better than watching tv alone. i've noticed when i'm alone, i start talking to myself. like i will want to say something about a show or something, but there's noone there to say it. but i don't realize that till after i say it and then i feel kinda stupid. i'm like, damn, i really wanted to laugh at that with someone. it's true, everything in life is better if shared with someone. i sound kind of corny, but i can't help it. whatever.
i need a job, too. not some stupid job at some typical store or something. i want a cool job, something different, maybe even fun at times. but i have no idea what that would be. i kind of want to umpire for like t-ball or something, but i tihnk i had to take the classes over the winter. maybe i could still get in if they need people. cause that wouldnt be too hard of a job, unless the parents are mean. then i dont want to deal with it. but for little kids, the parents probably aren't even paying attention. but if i don't do that, i'll probably just work at price chopper or something. booooring. it's so close to my house though and just a typical job for a teen. i just don't want to clean bathrooms. oh well. there's worse things in life, right? or maybe i could work at old ballgame. nah. those dudes who work there kinda scare me. see, i'm kinda afraid to get a job cause i'm kinda afraid of people. not so much afraid as uncomfortable. i just don't know what to do or say in certain situations. i always worry if i will do or say the wrong thing and they will hate me or think i'm stupid. but at the same time i don't want to care if they hate me. i don't want to please people, but i don't want to displease them. i need to learn how to deal with people eventually though for the future, so i might as well start now. well, if you have any suggestions for work, help me. thanks.
past two days have just rained rained rained. the softball camp thing i'm helping with got rained out the past 2 days so now i have to go friday and monday. i'm rakin up 80 bucks though, so it's all good. i hope i get some new babysitting jobs too. maybe the kids will put in some good words for me. i think one girl already did, but i want to babysit this other girl too. kids are so awesome sometimes, but they can also be so annoying. kids are cool cause they get me all hyper and stuff. they suprise me sometimes with how much they know and what they can do. and i love making people laugh and for people to like me, and usually kids like me or else they think i'm too weird. but usually weird is good cause kids are weird too. haha. i guess i'm pretty good with kids, i just try to have fun. except sometimes they just get on my nerves. like this one girl got really attached to me and told me she wants me to be her big sister and stuff, so i was all like, awwwww thats so cute. but then she started to get really clingy, like she would stand by me all the time and latch arms with me and stuff. and i don't want ot mean to her, but i just don't want her hanging on to me all the time. but being a camp counselor for little kids could be a fun job too, but its too late for that this summer.
ok. this entry is way too long. congratulations if you read it all.
i hope everyone's summer is going good. mine is pretty uneventful and boring so far. but the europe kids get home today! after an emergency landing in canada, they are finally getting home. that means group hang out time and dan :o) YAY
ok for real. bye