Continuation
Yep, still alive.Have won the metaphorical lottery of late. Two tax refunds, property tax reduced with little effort on my part, and refinancing all hitting at the same time has done wonders for my checkbook. Most (myself included) would be tempted to point out how good they are, and this is just the chickens coming home to roost for helping people
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It's perfectly acceptable to invite someone out that you are sexually/romantically interested in, purely because of said interest. It's also perfectly acceptable to swiftly move on to other opportunities if you get rejected. What's not acceptable is getting mad at someone just because they reject you. Or striking up with someone knowing and intending from the beginning to drop them when something better comes along.
Wanting love and support is not selfish. Not wanting to do so in return while taking love and support from another is selfish. Whatever your brain is telling you about this regarding wanting a partner, it's lying. I declare that you do not have this problem. Your feelings about wanting a partner are very normal and acceptable.
Stop listening/worrying about what other people think you should be doing. Just be you, whichever you that is today, and do what you want to do. If someone wants to know why you're single, the answer is, "Because you haven't proposed to me yet." It's really no one's business to comment on unless you bring it up yourself.
You know, long-time friends said I was crazy to get married as young as I did. And tried to point out how I'd changed. And how I'd never wanted to get married. And how I was changing my life, and not pursuing my original goals. And it was going to be a mistake, because I was betraying my girlhood dreams, or something. I said, this is what I want to do now, and I'm doing it, deal with it, I don't owe anyone, not even my former or past self any explanation. You can change whatever you want about yourself whenever you want to.
If you are happy everyday, not all day, but for at least a few moments every day, you are winning. Happy is by your definition. Anyone else's definition can go to hell.
FIN.
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You know, of course, in a manly, bro-fist kind of way.
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Seriously, I appreciate all of this, thank you. And yes, as usual, I'm overthinking (and I'm totally aware this was a rant rather than totally logical thought.)
The other two are no reason to worry. I'm not being rejected, and I already learned my lesson about potential along-stringing.
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