and I was so ambitious...
It's amazing how much I really can't do work when I'm at home. Today I watched 6 episodes of Scrubs, 2 episodes of Friends, and all 22 parts of Trapped in the Closet. That's right. WHAT THE FUCK????????
I did not, in fact, write parts 1 or 2 of my last final exam. Which I was planning on finishing today so I could have a fun weekend before I take off. But I am in fact retarded and incapable of productivity.
Tomorrow I have my last Providence date with Nik until our senior year, assuming we are still together at the end of this whole mess. It's a strange concept. Weird that we are old enough that we are having problems of, he wants to be in California this summer and I want to be in Providence/Cambodia. Weird that I want to ask him to look for internships in Boston.....or rather that I think he might, in this strange game of compromise. Attempting to fit two lives relatively along the same paths, at least for the time being. I may very well be the only member of the starting 22 roster on my team that is not staying in Providence over spring break to train for nationals because I've decided that my commitment to him, in this case, is taking priority over my commitment to my team. Just in this case. We'll see how that goes down.
At any rate, I have to take comfort in the fact that we are not, nor have we ever been perfect for each other, or have we ever had a perfect relationship. Everything we have and are is because we have loved each other to work for it, work through all the differences (and there are a lot of them), the opposition, everything. And if we have worked this hard to make it this good, I need to believe that we can work hard enough to make it okay, or good, or even great next semester. And if not, then at least we tried and he will still have been the love of my life, for at least these years.
I did not, in fact, write parts 1 or 2 of my last final exam. Which I was planning on finishing today so I could have a fun weekend before I take off. But I am in fact retarded and incapable of productivity.
Tomorrow I have my last Providence date with Nik until our senior year, assuming we are still together at the end of this whole mess. It's a strange concept. Weird that we are old enough that we are having problems of, he wants to be in California this summer and I want to be in Providence/Cambodia. Weird that I want to ask him to look for internships in Boston.....or rather that I think he might, in this strange game of compromise. Attempting to fit two lives relatively along the same paths, at least for the time being. I may very well be the only member of the starting 22 roster on my team that is not staying in Providence over spring break to train for nationals because I've decided that my commitment to him, in this case, is taking priority over my commitment to my team. Just in this case. We'll see how that goes down.
At any rate, I have to take comfort in the fact that we are not, nor have we ever been perfect for each other, or have we ever had a perfect relationship. Everything we have and are is because we have loved each other to work for it, work through all the differences (and there are a lot of them), the opposition, everything. And if we have worked this hard to make it this good, I need to believe that we can work hard enough to make it okay, or good, or even great next semester. And if not, then at least we tried and he will still have been the love of my life, for at least these years.