Emotional Wreck
The past 2 weeks, I have been a mess. At first I thought it was b/c of Dave pushing me to my limit. But it just keeps happening. Im a wreck, happy one minute sad the next.
Being a girl sucks lately I find that none of my clothes look good one me that my hair looks horrible, I look incredibly fat just every stupid girl thing possible To the point where I'll have plans to go out and I wont go b/c of not finding anything to wear and stuff...
So here I am on a saturday night sitting at home alone for the hundreth time in a row. While Dave is out having fun doing God knows what and not answering a single one of my texts or calls. Now I hate being a phsyco stalker girlfriend but thats what he turns me into. With every unanswered text or call my mind goes further and furhter into the deep end of endless possibilities of what he's really doing. And with his amazing record of not coming home I have a bad feeling that this is one of those nights... I dont know if its b/c Im paranoid but I always feel like he's lieing to me. He's been telling me the most outrageous stuff lately and Ive cuaght him in a bold face lie before. I just cant take this.
I feel like nothing, like the lowest peice on dirt on the ground. I have no confidence absolutely no self-worth. Im amazed I can manage to be so friendly and out spoken at work. I constantly wish to die b/c nothing here is worth it anymore. Its not worth going through all this pain and all these tears. Its not worth going to the same job everyday to try to payoff my debt. Not worth this boring routine: wake up get ready go to work come home. All my friends have deserted me. I havent seen my sister in so long. Im just so over everything. Nothing is worth it.
Being a girl sucks lately I find that none of my clothes look good one me that my hair looks horrible, I look incredibly fat just every stupid girl thing possible To the point where I'll have plans to go out and I wont go b/c of not finding anything to wear and stuff...
So here I am on a saturday night sitting at home alone for the hundreth time in a row. While Dave is out having fun doing God knows what and not answering a single one of my texts or calls. Now I hate being a phsyco stalker girlfriend but thats what he turns me into. With every unanswered text or call my mind goes further and furhter into the deep end of endless possibilities of what he's really doing. And with his amazing record of not coming home I have a bad feeling that this is one of those nights... I dont know if its b/c Im paranoid but I always feel like he's lieing to me. He's been telling me the most outrageous stuff lately and Ive cuaght him in a bold face lie before. I just cant take this.
I feel like nothing, like the lowest peice on dirt on the ground. I have no confidence absolutely no self-worth. Im amazed I can manage to be so friendly and out spoken at work. I constantly wish to die b/c nothing here is worth it anymore. Its not worth going through all this pain and all these tears. Its not worth going to the same job everyday to try to payoff my debt. Not worth this boring routine: wake up get ready go to work come home. All my friends have deserted me. I havent seen my sister in so long. Im just so over everything. Nothing is worth it.