Another Night in Hanover with Abe . . . .
Today was a pretty relaxing day. I made a list of a bunch of things I wanted to accomplish, but only got a few of them done. I MEANT to wake up at 10, but could not manage to drag my butt out of bed until 2. After I got up, I hung around the house for a bit before heading into the office to get some files caught up for Monday. When that was done, I headed over to Mom's to see Granny before she leaves for Florida.
At 7 I met apollo18 and we started out trip up to Hanover, PA. First, we went to AC Moore, AGAIN. I could LIVE in that store I absolutely love it. Then, we killed some time in Wally World aka Wal-Mart. We didn't want to get to the diner too early because the interesting crowd doesn't get there til later on. Once we were at the diner we ate and then proceeded to write our usual poems and haikus about the PA trash kids in there. In addition we did some mad libs as well.
Where the Magic Happens . . . . .
Below you will find tonite's poems/haikus, as well as the mad libs. The words entered in CAPS are the words that we entered (i.e. verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc). Feedback is welcome, and yes we know they are juvenile, goofy, gross, and violent. That was the entire point. This is our outlet for getting out frustration and making ourselves laugh until we nearly pee. Enjoy!
HAIKU FOR A WAITRESS
Two-Toned Ponytail,
You look like a saddle shoe!
I can see your roots.
ODE TO D&D BOY
I gaze at you across the way.
I think you're straight, but you sure look gay.
Around your wrists are rings of jelly.
Cheap diner coffee fills your belly.
D&D is what you read.
I think a hug is all you need.
Your ponytail, it makes me so sad.
Do you have it because the world makes you mad?
Your friend looks like a grizzly bear.
He is jealous of your hair.
When you sit, you cross your legs.
You drink juice, while your friends drink kegs.
Your meal, it looks like mystery meat.
That unibrow can't be beat.
You keys are hanging from your pocket.
I bet you keep your mother in a locket.
This is the end of our story.
We'll let you game in all your glory.
ODE TO VELOUR GIRL
You dress your body in velour.
You'd look better dead, on the floor.
With every guy, you do flirt.
I'd like to rub your face in the dirt.
There you stand short and stout.
I'd love to rip those earrings out.
You flitter and flatter all over the place.
I'd love to punch you in the fucking face.
When you sit, I can see your crack.
I want to plunge a knife in your back.
Your J-Lo outfits, you have but two.
How I'd love to curb-stomp you.
With your hair, you primp and coiff.
Man, I want to shave it off.
You've got one of those ghetto butts.
If you were male, I'd kick your nuts.
My writing energy, I must save.
I will not rest until I dig your grave.
THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS
Four score and seven years ago, our PANTS brought forth on this WHIPPED CREAM a FIRM nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all TOILETS are created SQUEAKY. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that DILDO or any DILDO so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the SMELLY task remaining before us...so that this nation, under BRUCE WILLIS, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the CIGARETTES, by the CIGARETTES, and for the CIGARETTES shall not perish from the PERCOLATOR.
RELATIVES
This is a GLORIOUS explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably BLOATED. Parents consist of one mother and one CARTON. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your FRIEND FO' LIFE", or "Stop picking your PEPPER!". Brothers and sisters are called BUMBLE BEES and they are often a pain in the RECTUM. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' REFRIGERATORS. They will buy you WATERMELON when your mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your FART. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving and NATIONAL GIVE YOUR PET A HUG DAY to eat a big condor. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT APOLLO18'S LJ FOR THE POETRY FROM LAST NIGHT!
At 7 I met apollo18 and we started out trip up to Hanover, PA. First, we went to AC Moore, AGAIN. I could LIVE in that store I absolutely love it. Then, we killed some time in Wally World aka Wal-Mart. We didn't want to get to the diner too early because the interesting crowd doesn't get there til later on. Once we were at the diner we ate and then proceeded to write our usual poems and haikus about the PA trash kids in there. In addition we did some mad libs as well.
Where the Magic Happens . . . . .
Below you will find tonite's poems/haikus, as well as the mad libs. The words entered in CAPS are the words that we entered (i.e. verbs, nouns, adjectives, etc). Feedback is welcome, and yes we know they are juvenile, goofy, gross, and violent. That was the entire point. This is our outlet for getting out frustration and making ourselves laugh until we nearly pee. Enjoy!
HAIKU FOR A WAITRESS
Two-Toned Ponytail,
You look like a saddle shoe!
I can see your roots.
ODE TO D&D BOY
I gaze at you across the way.
I think you're straight, but you sure look gay.
Around your wrists are rings of jelly.
Cheap diner coffee fills your belly.
D&D is what you read.
I think a hug is all you need.
Your ponytail, it makes me so sad.
Do you have it because the world makes you mad?
Your friend looks like a grizzly bear.
He is jealous of your hair.
When you sit, you cross your legs.
You drink juice, while your friends drink kegs.
Your meal, it looks like mystery meat.
That unibrow can't be beat.
You keys are hanging from your pocket.
I bet you keep your mother in a locket.
This is the end of our story.
We'll let you game in all your glory.
ODE TO VELOUR GIRL
You dress your body in velour.
You'd look better dead, on the floor.
With every guy, you do flirt.
I'd like to rub your face in the dirt.
There you stand short and stout.
I'd love to rip those earrings out.
You flitter and flatter all over the place.
I'd love to punch you in the fucking face.
When you sit, I can see your crack.
I want to plunge a knife in your back.
Your J-Lo outfits, you have but two.
How I'd love to curb-stomp you.
With your hair, you primp and coiff.
Man, I want to shave it off.
You've got one of those ghetto butts.
If you were male, I'd kick your nuts.
My writing energy, I must save.
I will not rest until I dig your grave.
THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS
Four score and seven years ago, our PANTS brought forth on this WHIPPED CREAM a FIRM nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all TOILETS are created SQUEAKY. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that DILDO or any DILDO so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the SMELLY task remaining before us...so that this nation, under BRUCE WILLIS, shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the CIGARETTES, by the CIGARETTES, and for the CIGARETTES shall not perish from the PERCOLATOR.
RELATIVES
This is a GLORIOUS explanation of what relatives are. If you don't know, you are probably BLOATED. Parents consist of one mother and one CARTON. Mothers are always saying, "Go comb your FRIEND FO' LIFE", or "Stop picking your PEPPER!". Brothers and sisters are called BUMBLE BEES and they are often a pain in the RECTUM. Grandfathers and grandmothers are your parents' REFRIGERATORS. They will buy you WATERMELON when your mother says you can't have any. An aunt is someone who is married to your FART. Relatives only get together on Thanksgiving and NATIONAL GIVE YOUR PET A HUG DAY to eat a big condor. Do we really need relatives? I doubt it.
BE SURE TO CHECK OUT APOLLO18'S LJ FOR THE POETRY FROM LAST NIGHT!