Lost
I dont think that I have ever been so depressed in my life. I look and around and I am alone. My so-called bestfriend bailed on me for a guy. My best guy pal betrayed me. My family is in the dark and no one else cares. I am not saying that anyone should. It is my life and it does not affect them. All I am saying is that people need to start being real. Dont sit around and toot your horn about what a good friend you are when you know that when things get tough or personal you are going to bail because you "Just dont want to deal with it" if you ask someone how they are or what is going on do it because you really care and want to know and help. Not just to be polite and pass the time. I hate fake people. I hate that you can look someone in the eye and see darkness, anguish, loneliness, and pain and turn and walk away from it. How does it not affect you. I am not asking everyone to care about everyone I am just saying quit acting like the person you are not. Dont lie to people. Especailly volital people. People who are on the edge of a breakdown or suicide. I cant bare to think of what would happen if I waved off a broken person and they hurt themselves or someone else. No it is not my fault. I wasnt there their entire life. I didnt lead someone to their breaking point, but by-gawd I dont want to be the straw. yeah I know that it is weird that I dont have a journal for a long time and all of sudden I start pouring out more emotions than the Gulf of Mexico, but who cares. It is not like anyone really reads this stuff. ( I know that there are ppl out there who do) But I need to vent and this is my way to do it. I can pretent like everyone who every "logged on" is keeping up with my site. I can pretend that they are listening and that they care. Key word is pretend. There maybe only two ppl who link up to me, to know what is going on,but those two people equal thousands for me and my soap box. So dont take offense because I can promise that this is not directed at you. Some times I just have to scream!!!!!!!!!