These Days Are Yours In The Best Way Honey, Nothing's Lost, The Only Cost

[raeghan]

Chapter 5/?

She kisses him until it gets hard to breathe and she moves back but he doesn't want to let her go so he pulls her back in for a quick kiss.
"I think." He stops then starts again. "I think I have to call Carrie."
"What are you going to tell her? Do we tell them about us?" 
"I don't know. I don't think we should. Not right away."
She nods and sees the point of easing their relationship, or whatever it is, into public knowledge.
"So there is an us?" She asks him shyly.
"I think there's been an us for awhile." He tells her as she covers her hand with his. She turns her hand over and holds hi, then moves back to him, kisses his neck and then jaw before she finally settles on his lips. He puts his arms around her waist and she rakes her fingertips through his hair and gets closer still, so she's almost on his lap and he feels too much, too soon, and he unwraps his arms and sets her back down on the bench. "We can't do this yet. Not until we talk to them."
"I know that. What? You thought that I was going to have sex with you right here, right now? I don't know what you've heard about me but i'm not that kind of a girl. I need a backseat to do it in." She jokes as she stands up and he takes her hand.
"You're joking about that now?"
"I'm not going to cry about it. I already did that last night. I think. Did I hit Carrie?"
He nods. "Right across the face. You hit Mike too. I kind of liked that. I wish I had seen it."
"Where were you?"
"Sticking her in a cab. What are you going to tell your mom? You didn't call her last night."
"I'll tell her that I stayed over at Carrie's and Carrie forgot to call her like she said that she would."
"And Carrie will go along with that?" 
"She will when I tell her that if she doesn't i'll tell mom that she made me drink." 
"And where will you tell Carrie when she asks you where you really were?"
Quinn looks away from him and thinks. "I'll just tell her that I was at a friends house." 
"Should I worry that you can come up with lies that quickly?"
She smiles and rubs her hand over his shoulder. "Maybe. I won't lie to you though, I promise." 
"That's good." He says softly as he pulls her back down to him. She kisses his forehead then stands back up. "You want me to take you home?" He asks her quietly and she nods.
"Do I look hung over?" 
He looks her over. Her clothes are wrinkled from sleeping in them and her hair is messy and her eyes look a little red and tired.
"Let's get you some coffee and a shower."
He guides her to the bathroom, pointing out the towels and a spare toothbrush and goes back into the kitchen to make some coffee for her and himself.
She comes back 15 minutes later, her clothes are still wrinkled but she looks better. Her hair is damp and falling on her shoulder, leaving dark marks on her shirt and the smudged makeup that was on her face is gone.
He smiles as he hands her a mug and she puts some sugar in it then takes a sip.
"You look good."
She snorts out a laugh. "Thanks. That's nice to hear. This is good, I don't usually drink coffee but this is good."
"Everything tastes good when you're hung over. You want food?"
She shakes her head. "I need to go home and then.....take care of some things."
That brings him back to the reality of the situation. She's not just an average girlfriend. She can't stay with him and he can't be with her like he wants to be because he's still technically dating her sister, and even when he's not anymore and they're both single and ready to be taken by the other it's not like he can take her out and show her off and do what's supposed to be done on a date because no one can know about them yet. It's going to be this secret relationship and no matter how much that excites him, it's not ideal. He wants her and he wants all of her and everything that comes with a new relationship. But for now it's baby steps and he has to get things going by ending the old relationship.
"Yeah, I have to take care of some things too."
She smiles tightly at him. "This is worth it right? It's the right thing to do?" She's looking for reassurance and he's more than sure. He takes the cup out of her hand and wraps his arms around her and her arms link around his waist and she gets the answer without him even having to say anything.

He drops her off around the block from her house, kissing her before he lets her get out of the car.
"I'll call you when things get settled."
"Okay." He whispers and glances down at his phone when it starts to ring. "Oh. Umm."
Quinn winces and squeezes her hand before she slips out of the car.
As soon as he answers the phone Carrie starts speaking.
"Baby, i'm so sorry, I don't know what I did last night but I know you're mad at me and I just.....i'm so sorry."
"Okay." He tells her and his head falls back against the headrest. "I need to talk to you."
"Okay, good, lets talk. Right away. You want to come over now?"
"Yeah, i'll be right there."

Quinn calls Carrie with the cover story on the walk home because she knows that Carrie won't be able to help her with anything when Lee breaks up with her. She goes along with it and hangs up fast because Lee's coming over and that makes Quinn feel a little sick because she knows it's not going to be a happy reunion.
When Quinn gets home her mother's not even there, she's not there worrying about her and the fact that it seems like she doesn't care feels even worse than her being overbearing.
Quinn climbs the stairs to her room and gets comfortable in bed and figures that she'll call Mike when she wakes up.

Carrie opens the door and pulls Lee into a hug and then kisses him and she notices how he doesn't kiss back and pulls back and looks at him with concern and when he drops his eyes from hers and rubs the back of his neck with his hand she knows what's going to happen. He wants to sit her down and explain to her and use the words 'you're a great girl' and 'you can do better than me' and 'we're not meant for each other' and 'I hope you find someone that makes you happy' but she just shakes her head and tells him to get out because she's so over him and Lee doesn't try to fight back.

Quinn wakes up to Carrie shaking her and Quinn pushes her away with a groan and pulls the pillows over her head.
"Get up. I need to rant and complain."
"Do it without me."
"No. You know what that douche bag did to me?"
Quinn's eyes pop open. "What douchebag?"
"Lee."
Quinn groans again and shuts her eyes tight. "What did he do?"
"That asshole broke up with me."
"What? Why?"
"I don't know. Something to do with last night."
"Is that what he said?"
"No. He didn't say anything. I shoved him out the door. It had to be something about last night. I don't remember anything, what did I say?"
"You don't remember anything?"
Carrie shakes her head. "I was drunk. I always have the biggest mouth when i'm drunk."
"That's why you should've let him explain."
"Why? That guy's an ass."
"No he's not." She says defensively. "You would've gotten some answers."
"I don't need answers. Whatever. I'm over it."
"Yeah, I can see that."
"I am. Okay, so maybe he's not an ass."
"He's a good guy."
"Yeah, but that's all he is. Just good. I could do better."
Quinn sits up and stares at her. "What?"
"I could do better than him. I'm going to be something."
Quinn sighs and rolls her eyes. She hates when Carrie goes off like this.
"I have goals and he's got nothing. He barely has a job."
"He has a job."
"Oh please; he works in a paint store."
"That's only temporary."
"Like how your ice cream job is temporary." Carrie laughs. "You're just like him Quinn, stuck here, you guys should go out and be lame together." She says.
"It is temporary. He's not going to be there forever."
"Yeah, because he wants to be famous. Like that's going to happen."
"You don't think it will? You don't think he can do it?" Slight discomfort and annoyance is starting to bubble up inside her.
"No." She says carelessly, like she never even cared about him. "He's not going anywhere."
Quinn makes the decision right there that she's not going to feel sorry for Carrie for doing anything with Lee because she never deserved him.

She does however, feel bad for Mike because he's done nothing wrong and he looks so sad and confused when Quinn tells him that it's over. He wants to know what he did wrong and he's so much like a puppy that got yelled at that her heart breaks for him and she kisses his cheek before she leaves him.
She calls Lee when she gets home, holding the phone to her ear as she gets dressed for work.
"Hey." His voice is soft and she smiles into the phone.
"I did it." She has to whisper because Carrie is still at her house, crying to her mother about Lee.
"Yeah, me too."
"I know you did. I woke up to her bitching about it. She didn't even let you explain?"
"No. Maybe it's better that way."
"I wish Mike just pushed me out the door."
"Did he make you feel bad?"
"Well yeah. I feel bad anyways."
"I'm sorry. But this is going to work out."
"I think so too." She says with a smile.
"So.....you wanna come over?"
She laughs. "I have to work."
"When do you get out?"
"Around six."
"Come over after. I'll make you dinner."
"You can cook?"
"Or I can order in."
She laughs softly. "Okay."
"Yeah?"
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Good. I'll see you then."

Right after he hangs up there's an knock on the door and Mike just lets himself in. 
"You can't wait for me to get it?"
"No." Mike sounds sullen and Lee sighs as he prepares himself for this. "She broke up with me."
"Quinn?"
"No, my other girlfriend. Yes Quinn, what kind of question was that you idiot." 
"Okay, okay, i'm sorry."
"Can you believe that? I mean, it just came out of no where. I thought everything was fine but then she just ends it. I mean, what did I do wrong? Do you know?" 
Lee shakes his head and wants to stay out of it as much as he can. 
"Why is it always the girls that I like leave and the girls i'm not into cling to me like....something that clings."
Lee covers his mouth with his hand to stop himself from laughing. 
"Don't laugh at my pain."
"I'm not laughing." Lee tells him as Mikes forehead hits the counter. "I'm not laughing; i'm sorry about what happened."
"But why did it happen?" Mike picks up his head suddenly. "Oh my god, do you think there's someone else? Do you think that she's cheating on me?"
"Oh. I don't think so, I mean I....I don't think she's that kind of girl, just from what little I know about her, just from what I saw. I think she wouldn't do that to you." He trips over the lie but Mike's not paying attention to the sound of the words, just the words themselves. 
"Ugh, this sucks."
"You'll be okay. It's not like you loved her or anything. Right?"
"No, but I couldn't have. Maybe, now i'll never know. And now I have to watch you and Carrie be together and it's sickening."
 "Actually....."
"What? She break up with you too? What the fuck is wrong with those sisters?"
"I broke up with her."
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"Nothing, I just....Carrie wasn't really my type. I mean...could you really see me with her?"
"I don't know. I don't even know if I even care. I'm just drowning in my own defeat."
"You're going to be find. You're going to find someone else and you'll be fine."
"Maybe. What are you doing tonight? We need to rebound."
"I can't tonight."
"Why not?"
"I'm just not in the mood. Plus i don't think that a quick hit will help you. Maybe you need to take sometime and figure out what you liked about her and then look for a girl like that. Not some random, slutty, alcoholic chick at a bar."
"You've been watching too much Dr.Phil."
Lee puts his hands up. "I'm just trying to help you."
"I know." Mike sighs. "You know that if you didn't set me up on that double date I wouldn't be feeling this. I blame you for all of this."
Lee laughs awkwardly as he leans against the counter. "I'm sorry about that."

The hours at work just seem to crawl by for Quinn at work. She knows she has to let go of any feelings of regret or guilt that she's holding onto for breaking it off with Mike to be with Lee. She can't help who she likes.....loves maybe. She thinks she could love him. She's not one to fall in love fast so this is how she knows that what she has for him is real. Given enough time, and she realistically knows that they don't have much, she's going off to college in two months, but even in that short amount of time, she could see herself falling for him. And she thinks that she deserves to. She deserves to have something good and Lee is good for her. And she's going to enjoy him for as long as she can.
As soon as she gets off work she hurries to his place, not caring that she's a little gross from working and that she still has her nametag on.
He's lighting a candle in the middle of the table, trying to class up the Chinese food that he ordered when she knocks at the door and when he opens it she's shifting from foot to foot impatiently and then takes a step to him, kicking the door shut.
"How was..." He doesn't get to ask her about the rest of her day because her lips are pressed to his. "I....I got dinner."
"Later." She mumbles as she kicks off her shoes.
"But it's going to get cold."
She stops and holds his arms. "Are you seriously talking to me about food right now?"
"Sorry." He blushes. "Just, is this going to fast?" He says with a sigh.
"Well, what's the point in going slow? We're going to get here eventually. Why wait?"
"I don't want you to feel like you're getting pressured into this."
"Are you still acting like i'm a kid? Stop doing that. If anything i'm pressuring you because i'm ready to do this and you're talking about food so.....are you sure that you want to do this?"
He smiles and ducks his head down to kiss her then takes her hand and leads her back to his bedroom.

"This is the opposite of how I usually do things like this." Lee tells her as she lays across him in his bed.
"Do you usually have dinner before sex? Because that's so last year."
He laughs and presses a kiss to her hair.
"We have had dinner before. Just not really with each other."
"We'll have dinner together together." 
"You said there was food out there."
"Mmmm." He hums and pulls her closer, shutting his eyes and kissing her shoulder. "It's cold."
"You have a microwave."
"I think it's broken."
She giggles when his lips hit her neck. "I think you left a candle burning."
"I don't smell smoke. It's no big deal right now." He kisses her shoulder again. "You smell good."
"I smell like ice cream."
"I like ice cream." He laughs when he feels her laugh. "Could you get me some free ice cream?"
"Do you only like me to get free food?"
He's silent for a long moment. "Maybe."
She rolls her eyes with a smile on her face and gets off of him but he won't let go of her. 
"Don't go."
"I'm hungry and you promised food." She says as she searches the floor for her clothes. She gets them on then lays back down next to him. "Get up."  
"Do I have to?'
"Yes." She bends down and picks up his shirt and tosses it at him. "Don't keep me wating." Her threat has no backing because she's smiling impossibly wide and holding back a laugh as she says it.

When he gets out to the kitchen she's standing barefooted next to the microwave waiting for their food to heat up. The candle is almost burned out on the table and on the counter are the flowers that he was going to give her, which, looking at it now, was the wrong thing to get her, it's not like she can take them home, to the rest of the world she doesn't have a boyfriend to get her stuff and he makes a mental note to think things through more carefully the next time he wants to buy her something.
She looks over her shoulder at him with a smile before turning back to the now beeping microwave to get the food.
"Your kitchen is a mess by the way, nothing makes sense and I don't get where you put things."
"It's supposed to look like that. I don't really have an organized system. I just start filling the cabinets by the dishwasher first and then work my way out."
"You're a mess." She mumbles then turns to him with the plates in her hands. "Couch or table?"

They watch ESPN on the couch and they start out separatated from each other, a comfortable distance apart but then two hours later his arm is around her and her head is on his shoulder, her legs tucked underneath her and the dishes forgotten about on the coffee table. His fingertips brush against her back and she feels herself falling asleep.
"I should probably go." She tells him quietly and his hand stills on her back.
"I don't want you to."
"I know, but I can't stay, not now, I gotta figure some things out first. I need a cover story. My mom's a heavy sleeper but..." The mention of her mother always makes her cringe. It's such a childlike thing to say and worry about. "I don't know." She shakes her head and leans into him. "I'll figure something out. It'll work out."
He nods. "You okay to drive home?"
"Yeah." She smiles. "I'll be fine."
She gets off the couch and he follows her. "I got you flowers." He gestures to the counter. "You probably can't take them home but..."
She turns to him and presses her lips to his. "Keep them here, i'll be back for them."
He doesn't let her go for another ten minutes, he holds onto her and kisses her until she has to disentangle herself from him and slip out the door, coming back for one more kiss before she actually goes.
She's glad her mother's already asleep when she gets home because she's sure that she wouldn't be able to explain the permanent smile that's been on her face since she walked into his apartment.
He cleans up, throws the dishes in the sink, and goes back to bed, which feels so empty without her in it and he thinks that he's falling to fast for her. She wasn't actually in the bed for long but now it feels like this is where she's meant to be and where he wants her, just beside him.
She knows she's falling fast, but not too fast. It feels right and she feels safe with him and the fact that she already slept with him doesn't worry her because she knows that he likes her, he's going to be around and he wants her back and he's not going to leave her now that he's gotten what he's wanted because he wants more than that.

He calls her in the morning before work. He wakes her up , her voice is still sleepy but she refuses to let him hang up when he apologizes.
"No, say what you were going to say."
"It's nothing really; I just wanted to tell you to have a good day and wanted to see you later."
"You're cute." She whispers. "What time later?"
"Do you want to do lunch? you want to come by the store and then we can go from there, is that okay?"
"Yeah, that's great. Around noon?"
"I'll be waiting. I should let you go back to sleep, i'm sorry I woke you up."
"Don't worry, I like hearing from you, you can call anytime."
"Okay." She can hear his smile through the phone.
She paces and changes her outfit a bunch of times while she waits for noon to roll around and when she finally gets to the story he's leaning up against the counter looking bored until he sees her and he stands up straight.
"Hey." He calls loudly and people turn to look at her and she blushes and hurries to him, not wanting to draw attention to herself. "Sorry." He whispers when she gets closer. "Just give me a minute, i'll be right there."
She gives him a small smile as he walks off then takes her hand when he gets back and they walk out of the store.
"So how long is this break?" She asks him when they're on the sidewalk.
"A half an hour." He tells her before he pulls her into the alleyway next to the store.
"What are we doing?" She asks before his lips connect with her.
"I'm sick of food." He tells her as he kisses her neck and she laughs and wraps her arms around him and they spend his entire break together like that.
She thinks it's exciting and exhilarating, knowing that she has someone that wants her like that, where ever they are he still wants her and it's a natural kind of high that she can't shake, and doesn't really want to and it follows her home and even seeing Carrie and wondering if she ever goes home anymore doesn't bring her down.
"You won't believe what I saw today." She sounds angry as Quinn opens the fridge to get something to eat because she never got lunch.
"What did you see?" She plays along with her sister.
"Lee and some random chick."
"What?" Quinn says, alarmed because Carrie saw them.
"Yeah, can you believe that? I mean, we just broke up."
"Where did you see them?"
"Outside of his work."
"What were you doing down there?"
"Just.....driving by."
"You were spying on him." Quinn accuses and Carrie snaps.
"Whatever, don't judge me, it's my right as the ex girlfriend to check up on him."
"That's crazy."
"It's not, you don't know, you don't have an ex."
"I have Mike."
"Oh, he doesn't count, who would he be going out with. Plus, this isn't about you, not everything is about you, i'm talking about me and Lee and how dare he, we just broke up. How dare he get over me that fast."
"I thought you said that you were over him."
"I am, but he shouldn't be over me."
"Well he did break up with you so maybe it's not that big of a deal."
"Why are you being such a bitch to me right now? I'm in pain."
Quinn shakes her head and rolls her eyes. "I'm not being a bitch and you don't really have a right to be in pain. You acted like you didn't care about him and now that he's got someone else you suddenly care."
"Bitch, that's bitchy, can you at least pretend like you care, I need to vent right now and then i'll never speak of him again."
"Fine. What did this girl look like?" She wants to know exactly what she saw.
"I didn't see much of her, just her hair, some skanky brunette."
"How do you know that she was skanky?"
"Because she pushed him into the alley and made out with him for a long time. I got sick of waiting and I left."
"You were going to wait for her?"
"I wanted to see who this girl was and who she thinks she is, stealing my boyfriend."
"She didn't steal your boyfriend."
"She could've. Who knows, maybe that's the reason he broke up with me."
"Well you don't know that because you didn't let him explain."
"I guess everything is my fault. I should've stuck around and smacked that whore around."
"You would've done that?"
"No. I probably wouldn't have hit her but I would've liked to have seen if she was prettier that me. What if she is? What is she isn't?" Carrie says as she makes a face.
"I don't think you should be thinking about that anymore. It's just upsetting you. Just forget about him and focus on someone else."
"But I like him." She says sadly and despite her earlier vow not to feel sorry for her, Quinn does.
"I know. But it didn't work out and that's it. You have to try to move on. Which means being happy for him if he's happy and not stalking him." 
"I didn't stalk. You make it sound like I had binoculars and a floor plan of his place or something. I was just checking in on him."
"Well don't do that either. It's just going to hurt you in the end. Trust me."

Lee's just about to call her that night when he hears a knock on the door, it's urgent and demanding and he puts the phone down to go get it.
She's standing in the hallway with her hands on her knees breathing heavy.
"What the hell Quinn? Did you run here or something?'
"I ran and walked. Don't worry about me, don't worry, i'm in good shape. She saw us."
"What are you talking about? Why didn't you drive? I don't live close to you." 
"My sister. She saw us today."
"Oh god." He say as she pushes her way inside.
"Well, she saw you, she just referred to me as a skanky brunette or something. She didn't know it was me."
"What was she doing on that side of town?"
"Checking up on you."
"Oh my god."
"But I think it's okay. I talked to her and I think I talked her out of doing it again so it's okay, we're okay for the future but still, it's a miracle she didn't see my car or me and what if she saw me?"
"Is that why you didn't drive? In case she saw the car?"
She nods. "I snuck out of my house tonight Lee. I didn't know I was capable of doing that. I did not know I was physically capable of doing it. I didn't that my house was that kind of house but it is. I got the screen out of my window and oh my god." She laughs and grabs the front of his shirt. "Can you imagine how stupid I looked? We need to be careful. We can't get caught." She says are her arms snake around his neck and her head rests on his chest and she catches her breath. "This is stressing me out. Can I have a cigarette?"
"No way." He pulls her away. "No way, you're not picking up on my bad habit."
"But I need to be calmed down, doesn't that calm you down?"
"You need to sit down." He leads her to a chair in the kitchen and gets her some water then sits down across from her. She drinks then puts her head in her hands.
"We need to be careful."
"I know we do." He agrees.
"What are we going to do? I don't know how i'm going to tell her. How do you think Mike will react? What do we do?"
"Well, I think first you need to relax. Maybe it won't sting as much if we give it sometime. We'll give them some time and then maybe they'll be okay with it."
"You think?"
"Yeah. We can't worry about this too much. It'll just make us crazy."
"I think I already am."
"You're just concerned." He says and she nods and takes his hand. "Let me worry about this for a little while okay? You just calm down."
"I'm trying." She looks up at him then kisses him softly. "I'm sorry I barged in here like this."
"You can come over here anytime. Don't worry."
She smiles weakly then squeezes his hand. "Do you think my hair is skanky?" She asks him and he laughs and she feels better instantly.

She stays with him that night and most every night after that. She gets sneaking out of her house down to a fine art. It's out her window, down the back of the sloped roof, onto the deck railing and then on the ground. He's waiting for her in his car a block away so she doesn't have to walk, but sometimes he meets her on foot and they do walk because the moon is full and the night air is warm and it's more time to spend together and he can focus on her completely instead of splitting his attention between her and the road.
She sleeps next to him, his arms usually find their way around her, his lips find the back of her neck every morning, early in the morning because that's the time that she needs to get back home before her mom wakes up and notices that she's gone.
She gets out of bed slowly, wanting to lie with him for as long as she can before she gets her shoes on or gets her clothes on, depending on how the night progressed and then she kisses him until he's fully awake and he takes her home.
They don't venture out of the confines of his apartment, they're afraid to take the chance that someone might see them and that's okay with her. She likes it there, just with him, but he worries that she wants something more, or will want something more and she'll get restless and unhappy and he feels the need to take her somewhere nice because his crappy little apartment is driving him crazy, but he can't seem to find the place to take her, he can't pick a place where someone won't find them and he feels terrible but she tells him that it's okay. She's perfectly fine with staying in, just him and her, she doesn't need anything else.
It's there one month anniversary and they both no it but neither of them say it because they're afraid that it's not worth mentioning.
But she dresses up; she puts on a dress and spends extra time on her hair and makeup, making sure that she looks perfect, or as close to perfect as she can get and she finds that it's hard as hell to sneak out in a dress but she gets it done anyways. He actually cooks something for her instead of ordering in and he gets her a necklace. It's not big or expensive and he hopes that it doesn't stand out too much so she won't have to lie if someone should ask her where she got it.
They eat at the table, candles are lit and flowers are in vases and she knows that he knows what day it is and she studies him for a moment before she decides to bring it up but then loses her courage when he starts talking about something different.
She pushes him out of the kitchen telling him that she'll clean up since he managed to cook and he doesn't push back and she watches him with a smile as he grabs a beer from the fridge and walks out to the living room to wait for her.
When she joins him she moves across his lap, sitting so her knees are on either sides of his hips and one of his arms wrap around her waist while the other holds the bottle by her knee and her arms go around his neck and she kisses him.
"Hey." His voice is a deep whisper and she moves closer to him, her chest against his.
"It's been a month." She tells him as her fingers link together at the back of his neck.
"I know. I was going to say something but....I don't know why I didn't."
She shrugs. "It's not that big of a deal." She looks down at the bottle next to her skin. "But you're the longest relationship i've ever had. Isn't that sad?"
"No." He kisses her and his arm around her waist moves down to her hips and she flinches when the cold bottle hits her warm skin and he moves forward slightly to put in on the hard wood floor because the coffee table is too far away with her on his lap and he's not about to make her move. "It's not sad. It makes me feel special."
"You are special." She muses as her palms cup at the base of his skull.
"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me when you say that?"
She bursts out laughing. "I'm not making fun of you. You are special."
"And a month is a big deal. That's how everything gets started. You have to have a first month anniversary to get to a 6 month and a year and 10 years and then 20. Big anniversary's have to start with smaller ones."
"Do you think people that have been together for 20 years remember the first month anniversary?"
"I bet they do. I bet my parents do. They'd like you."
"Your parents?"
"Yeah."
She laughs dryly. "Yeah, if I ever got to meet them."
"You'll meet them." He says it like he means it and she looks away and shakes her head. "You think you won't meet them?"
"I think i'm not leaving this apartment."
"I told you that we could...."
"It has nothing to do with that." She interrupts him. "We're not going to be a public thing. It's just not going to happen. Mike will never know, Carrie will never know, you parents will never know."
"Our relationship isn't going to be just this. There's going to be more to it."
She rolls her eyes and he grabs her hips to get her attention.
"Don't do that. Don't act like you don't believe me."
"It's not that I don't believe you Lee."
"People are going to know about this. I'm almost at the point where I don't care what anyone else says or thinks about us. I love you." He says suddenly and her eyes snap up to meet his. "I love you." He repeats, stronger this time.
She nods once and then puts her forehead against his, her eyes closing as her lips touch his. "Do you really?"
"Yes. So much. This isn't some secret fling. It's not going anywhere. What if I want us to get to 20 years?"
She closes her eyes tight to hold back the tears and opens them all misty eyed and she kisses him.
"I want 20 too." She tells him as his hands move down to her legs and move up her dress as she kisses him deeply, her hands buried into his hair and then down his neck then down this chest to the hem of his shirt and works her hands under it, her fingers brushing against his skin.
He lifts her up off the couch and her feel touch the ground before he picks her back up, her legs around his waist and his arms around her back as he carries her into the bedroom and places her on the bed.
He steps back and she sits up to get his jeans off and then he moves forward and steps out of them, pushing her back on the bed, his hand on her back then working down her body to pull her cotton dress over her head, her hair getting messy and beautiful and he kisses her as she works his shirt up over his shoulders and then over his head, letting it drop to the floor before her hand lies flat on his warm back.

They wake up later than usual but she doesn't panic or worry. She's almost at the point where she doesn't care if they get caught as well. She turns over in his arms and buries her face into his neck and she hears him sigh, letting her know that he's awake.
"Morning." His voice rumbles through his chest.
"Hi." She greets him back before she moves away slightly so she can watch his face. His eyes are still closed, eye lashes splayed out over his cheek bones. "Thank you for last night."
His eyes open and his eyebrows raise. "I don't think you have to thank me for that, you did some of the work too." He says as his hand moves over her bare him.
"I didn't mean that. I meant......that you love me, all those things that you said."
"I don't think you have to thank me for that either. I was just saying what I was feeling." 
She smiles and puts her hand on the side of his face, her thumb moving over his full lips. "I love you too y'know. I feel the same way that you do."
He smiles under her thumb. "I'll thank you for that."
She replaces her thumb with her lips and her hand finds the front of his chest before she slips away. "You want breakfast?"
"Don't want to get up. You love me, don't make me get up." 
She laughs as she gets semi dressed in her underwear and his t-shirt from last night. "I'll bring something back for you."
"Mmmm, love you even more." He says as he buries his head into the pillow and she leaves the room.
She gets bread and eggs out on the counter and hears a knock on the other side of the door and she's still in a fog of happiness and contentment from last night and the voice that warns her about things that she shouldn't be doing isn't up yet and she goes over to the door and swings it open.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
The little voice comes screaming back when she hears his voice sees Mike on the other side of the door but it's too late to do anything about it.