In Which I Let Others Do Most of My Dirty Work
1. New Moon: The Bad, the Worse, and the WTF (h/t to nihilistic_kid). This is, as you'd suspect, not the most complimentary review. That said, even if you don't want to read yet another sporking of the Sparkle Vamps, and even if you're a Twilight fan, it's worth clicking the link and scrolling down to the last section (for content, not humor; it's really not funny).
2. Coming in 2011.
...Okay, look, I did see the first movie, albeit with Rifftrax. I haven't read the books, just summaries. And while I think the whole romanticization of abuse / child grooming subplots are no end of fucked up, my main gripe with the movie was that it was incredibly, painfully, unrelentingly dull. Is this what kids find romantic these days? At least when I was tweeny, we had Anne Rice,* who, while overwrought beyond belief, had the "blood, love, and rhetoric" trifecta down to a science.**
*The books, not the movie, whose main redeeming factor is creepy li'l Kirsten Dunst: "Vampires pretending to be people pretending to be vampires! How Avant-garde!"
**Actually, tween-Rae's favorite Anne Rice novel didn't involve vampires at all, but that's beside the point, except that I ended up reading it after the vampire books went all to fuckery after Queen of the Damned (which, honestly, had already sunk pretty far into Lestat-Sue territory, but if you take it out, you don't get that nice round trilogy effect).***
2. Coming in 2011.
...Okay, look, I did see the first movie, albeit with Rifftrax. I haven't read the books, just summaries. And while I think the whole romanticization of abuse / child grooming subplots are no end of fucked up, my main gripe with the movie was that it was incredibly, painfully, unrelentingly dull. Is this what kids find romantic these days? At least when I was tweeny, we had Anne Rice,* who, while overwrought beyond belief, had the "blood, love, and rhetoric" trifecta down to a science.**
*The books, not the movie, whose main redeeming factor is creepy li'l Kirsten Dunst: "Vampires pretending to be people pretending to be vampires! How Avant-garde!"
**Actually, tween-Rae's favorite Anne Rice novel didn't involve vampires at all, but that's beside the point, except that I ended up reading it after the vampire books went all to fuckery after Queen of the Damned (which, honestly, had already sunk pretty far into Lestat-Sue territory, but if you take it out, you don't get that nice round trilogy effect).***