Validation
After my falling out with "Fertile Myrtle", I began looking inward to study my flaws and see how I can go about fixing them to be a better me. We all can use some self improvment. Since I've struggled with selfishness and negativity before, it seemed to be getting out of hand and had just cost me a friend.
I started reading a book recommended by fellow unicorn blogger Expectant Hope, called Conquering Infertility by Dr. Alice Domur. I was a little surprised to find validation for my feelings in the first chapter. I also managed to find a couple unicornuate uterus groups in the social network ocean that is Facebook. My friends and family have been very supportive with everything so far. While I am grateful for them, finding validation from a professional and others like me takes support to another level. It gives me a sense of relief because I feel instantly understood.
In the first chapter of Conquering Infertility, Dr. Domur explains that women trying to conceive (TTC) often become obsessed & stressed while trying. Month after month, failure after failure, we start to question ourselves as women and our ability to do what is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. Add to this an official diagnosis of infertility, and the "regular" stress can quickly become depression. Women push their friends, family and sposes away. They become isolated because that is esier than constantly explaining their struggle and being met with responses that, while well intentioned, sometimes hurt more than they help. They even begin to question their faith.
Check, check, and check. How about that? My exisiting issues with jealousy and negativity may have been amplified beyond normal levels, but considering the situation, I am certainly not alone in feeling the way I do. That acknowledgement means the world to me right now.
In one FB group, I was met instantly with open arms from the moderator. Turns out, she has family in my hometown and was just in for a visit this summer. I'm the only Florida girl in that group, but in the other there are two girls nearby, with a third moving to the panhandle soon. I was already a member of a fertility group, but these groups are just unicorns. I've learned so much already by observing them. Many feel just as hopeless as I do. Some still will even turn around right after a rant and try to keep positivity alive. Everyone is supportive, and ready to share their experience. It appears this will be a hard road, and I am thankful to have found these ladies to help guide me. The other group was nice starting out, but I was growing frustrated with the success stories of the "normals". I'm still part of that group for now, but am only peeking in occasionally rather than following as closely as before. Actually, I peeked in today, and it seems I'm not alone in my frustration over all the Big Fat Positives either (BFP's-positive pregnancy tests).
Even still, I need my fellow unicorns. They get it. They even organized a gift exchange in one group over the holidays to embrace their unicorn-edness. I'm still coming around, but I'm getting there too. Slowly, but surely.
I started reading a book recommended by fellow unicorn blogger Expectant Hope, called Conquering Infertility by Dr. Alice Domur. I was a little surprised to find validation for my feelings in the first chapter. I also managed to find a couple unicornuate uterus groups in the social network ocean that is Facebook. My friends and family have been very supportive with everything so far. While I am grateful for them, finding validation from a professional and others like me takes support to another level. It gives me a sense of relief because I feel instantly understood.
In the first chapter of Conquering Infertility, Dr. Domur explains that women trying to conceive (TTC) often become obsessed & stressed while trying. Month after month, failure after failure, we start to question ourselves as women and our ability to do what is supposed to be the most natural thing in the world. Add to this an official diagnosis of infertility, and the "regular" stress can quickly become depression. Women push their friends, family and sposes away. They become isolated because that is esier than constantly explaining their struggle and being met with responses that, while well intentioned, sometimes hurt more than they help. They even begin to question their faith.
Check, check, and check. How about that? My exisiting issues with jealousy and negativity may have been amplified beyond normal levels, but considering the situation, I am certainly not alone in feeling the way I do. That acknowledgement means the world to me right now.
In one FB group, I was met instantly with open arms from the moderator. Turns out, she has family in my hometown and was just in for a visit this summer. I'm the only Florida girl in that group, but in the other there are two girls nearby, with a third moving to the panhandle soon. I was already a member of a fertility group, but these groups are just unicorns. I've learned so much already by observing them. Many feel just as hopeless as I do. Some still will even turn around right after a rant and try to keep positivity alive. Everyone is supportive, and ready to share their experience. It appears this will be a hard road, and I am thankful to have found these ladies to help guide me. The other group was nice starting out, but I was growing frustrated with the success stories of the "normals". I'm still part of that group for now, but am only peeking in occasionally rather than following as closely as before. Actually, I peeked in today, and it seems I'm not alone in my frustration over all the Big Fat Positives either (BFP's-positive pregnancy tests).
Even still, I need my fellow unicorns. They get it. They even organized a gift exchange in one group over the holidays to embrace their unicorn-edness. I'm still coming around, but I'm getting there too. Slowly, but surely.