(no subject)
the last entry didn't exactly cut it or make me feel any better. since then i have been dousing my keyboard with tears, so here's the real thing.
i am fucking pissed off. you had all weekend to steal my heart and did just so. it went so fast that i was confused by the fact that i could no longer see myself waking up alone. i thought that you felt the same way by things that you said to me and the wonderful way that you treated me. i don't understand how you can sleep with yourself knowing that i am restless about this. if you think for even one second that i am going to be there for you when you are ready, you are wrong. even though i do think that you are perfect for me, i can't allow myself to be a sucker for you and your words. they obviously mean nothing anyway, or i would be with you instead of her. even after you got back together with her you told me that i was wonderful. that's not what i want to hear. i want to hear that you are taking a leap of faith in your heart and leaving her to be with me. that's all that i want to hear. don't try to act like you give a shit that i am upset. if you gave a shit, i would be your significant other. i am to the point that i will not call you. i will not tell you that you are perfect for me. i am so hurt that you are shamelessly crushing me. i feel like you are being so selfish. you want anything that you can get, from all directions. i am not so stupid that i wouldn't notice or be hurt. i miss you, but i have to preserve my heart now.
i am fucking pissed off. you had all weekend to steal my heart and did just so. it went so fast that i was confused by the fact that i could no longer see myself waking up alone. i thought that you felt the same way by things that you said to me and the wonderful way that you treated me. i don't understand how you can sleep with yourself knowing that i am restless about this. if you think for even one second that i am going to be there for you when you are ready, you are wrong. even though i do think that you are perfect for me, i can't allow myself to be a sucker for you and your words. they obviously mean nothing anyway, or i would be with you instead of her. even after you got back together with her you told me that i was wonderful. that's not what i want to hear. i want to hear that you are taking a leap of faith in your heart and leaving her to be with me. that's all that i want to hear. don't try to act like you give a shit that i am upset. if you gave a shit, i would be your significant other. i am to the point that i will not call you. i will not tell you that you are perfect for me. i am so hurt that you are shamelessly crushing me. i feel like you are being so selfish. you want anything that you can get, from all directions. i am not so stupid that i wouldn't notice or be hurt. i miss you, but i have to preserve my heart now.