and i think to myself "what is this life?"

[radiocain]

it's really strange, and i kind of began to allude to this in my last attempt at an entry, but when i'm here (at nyu, or in new york in general) i often feel as though something changes in myself, that i become a person that i perhaps have always wanted to be: someone without inhibitions, someone who cares little about the judgment passed on them

Comments

[communitylife]

stephanie, you know we read this, so i figure it's kind of ridiculous not to respond. i love you. i care about you a lot, but i'm just confused, kind of, by this so-called new york stephanie. like, i don't even think it goes to a respect issue, because first and foremost i worry about you. sometimes there's a quote on your profile that says someone isn't worried about you because you always take care of your business. well, i worry about you because you're so hardcore that you can take care of your business and still party it up. real college (non-liberal arts) experiences don't have to be beer pong. i mean, if you want it to be, fine. really, it's just that it's not very safe and healthy, and leave it to me to be concerned about safety and health. i think it's okay for us to have very different lives now than we did at governor's school. it doesn't necessarily negate who we were or our friendships now, it just makes them different. maybe i'm wrong. maybe it does mark a shift or break, and personally i would be a little creeped out by the beer pong tournament (they happen here every weekend), but just because you're bar-hopping with your sisters these days as opposed to singing donut songs in a circle on the lobby floor doesn't mean that you don't have a donut-circle still inside you (ha). i guess, in a nutshell, i'm trying to say two things: yes, i won't deny that i'm worried and a little dumbstruck by the amount of partying and craziness that goes on in your life now; but, i love you in a place that is inviolable. of this i am sure. so, i hope that is comforting in a way, or helpful. just remember to be aware of your happiness, which is not the same thing, you know, as being aware of your situation. and before i get too obtuse, i go.

you know, i'm all alone in poughkeepsie this week. we could curl up on the couch in my dorm and watch girls just wanna have fun. i've got mad popcorn, and there's a cute little cafe off campus we could treat ourselves to lunch at. it's like our little bit o' manhattan right in sketch po-town. alright, that's it. subliminal messages, no pressure. i love you. be good, i mean it.