(no subject)
the past 3 weeks have been really stressful. i've been feeling sick and i'm pretty convinced that something is terribly wrong with me. it started out that i had this pain in the right side of my stomach so the doctor did a urine and blood test to check if i had appendicitis, which wasn't the case. so she scheduled me to go for an ultrasound to see if i had anything wrong with my ovaries, etc. so turns out i have a cyst on my right ovary, which could possibly be something that could go away, and the pain has diminished there, so it might have gone away by now, or could have ruptured or something. i have to go again to the doctor on wed. this week to see if it's something serious that needs to be taken out. i also have been having chest pain and my throat's been hurting bad. i don't know if this is all stress-related, which is what everyone else thinks it is. but i just feel like i'm dying. it's making me anxious and depressed just waiting to go see the doctor again. ugh. i've been completely disconnected from the world and all my concerns have been towards this. i can't function anymore. i've left work early and called in sick because of how depressed i've been feeling about it. i think i have depression/anxiety problems. i'm a mess. i don't feel like i can talk to anyone about all this, so this is my way of doing so. once i start thinking about it, it makes me cry. my parents are getting annoyed with me. i know they just don't want me to cry and worry about it, but yeah. i've started looking up all this cancer stuff online. i know that sounds nuts, but it's become so common that i'm afraid it might be a possibility. i've totally fucked up my body with eating unhealthy. i have problems with acid reflux which could be the problem. this is probably just looking like a crazy rant but whatever. not even a handful of people read this anyway. alright, well i should probably get to bed. goodnight.