unfinished business
I don't really have time to do this, but I made time...because self-evaluation is critical right now....especially with the day I've been having...I did this a while ago and I'm doing it now to see how my responses have changed, if they have at all.
Body: 1. Who were you with Saturday night?
Eric, Kory, Alec, JP, Tiff, Alan, and a few others :)
2. What woke you up this morning?
My mommy...like every morning nowadays.
3. Where are you?
My house
4. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
my reality is what I make it. If I think it will be a good day, then it will be. I must keep a positive attitude...even with probation...I wish I had someone I could confide in about it.
5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
today...no...yesterday...a lot of people.
6. When's the last time you cried?
today..
7. What were you doing at 10 last night?
chillen with kory at my house
8. What were you doing at midnight?
same thing I was doing at 10..lol chillen with kory
9. Ever thrown up from a roller coaster or an amusement park?
nahh...i roll with the big dogs. hah. ((that's what I put the last time I filled this out and that still stands)
10. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
wow, what a question. I want to be at peace and not be this jumble of thoughts, but I stop myself because my heart is broken. I see a rainbow as I stand in the rain. However, the rainbow seems miles away...and as I walk towards it...it stays just out of my reach. I hold a temporary rainbow in my hand, but I don't think rainbows are meant to be held so I set it free and in setting it free a piece of me is also set free and a part of me is lost within it.
I praise God for being my best friend and always answering my prayers, even if I don't understand it.
I am thinking also about lak'ech ala k'in <3
And Travis and Keith and Shewy and all of my friends whom I love.
11. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
id try to protect anyone..but I'd take a bullet for my mom, Travis, Shewy, Keith, Eric, and God.
12. Where would you like to live?
anywhere, as long as the people I love are there.
13. What kind of home would you like?
it could be a shack with no plumbing as long as I had the people I love. But if they were there, ideally I'd like a home with all the rooms painted different bright colors and some of them having amazing graffiti on them and art everywhere. A home with good vibes. A log cabin kind of house. Nature would play a huge part in it. A home that makes me and whoever else feel warm, safe, and comfortable.
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
it would make me soo happy if I were to be a surgeon and to open a rehab.
15. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
trapped in a snowglobe in outer space?..or as eric would like to believe exploding with a crater that detroys the earth in 2012..LAME..hopefully happy..<--lol well eric and Shane its 2012 and planet earth is still here...don't worry we still have a few months left lol. I see myself, hopefully, off of probation, in school working towards medical school, with a car, my own place, and hopefully with someone who cares about me as much as I care about them..in sacred union.
16. Who is your number one on myspace?
lol alec is the only one on my myspace friends...still...yes, i still check mine from time to time.
17. Who is your number two?
only have one :)
18. What is the longest you have gone without checking your myspace?
more than a month...or months *shrug* I use facebook most often but I still get on myspace every now and again
19. Who was the last person that left you a comment?
lol on myspace probably trav or alec or chris...on facebook Steve Kellner
20. Are you friends with this person?
yessss love that nukkah
21. How often do you log in to myspace?
lets go with facebook instead, everyday lately.
22. What do you like to do in the car?
squirt passer byers with water guns...ride with the top of a convertible down in mid winter..dance ..sing..uh have sex?...kidding..<3driving. <--all of that still holds true. i forgot, road trips and go to electronic music festivals. I love driving...the journey and getting to the destination. Plus, I try to not have road rage anymore..it is very unskillful.
23. Do you like candy necklaces?
yes, I still do...I just haven't had the pleasure of wearing one in like a year.
24. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
actually...not in a minute. I've become less clumsy somehow...I think it's because I pay more attention to myself and to my body movements.
25. Do you listen to music every day?
oh yes. <3
26. Do you still go trick-or-treating?
i never thought I'd say this, I always thought I'd be one of those in-appropriate 30 year old trick or treaters -lol- but last halloween keith and i passed out a lot of candy together, it was really nice. :) yay for new traditions.
27. What was the last thing you ate?:
mrs. field's chocolate chip cookie dough icecream, i swear I could live off of that stuff...actually, I have before haha.
28. Is it the weekend?
yep, it's sunday. FOOTBALLL!!! Lions lost :( bummer, but its okay we'll get 'em next time.
29. What are you doing tonight?
idk...either hanging out with kory or zac. and at some point writing about my goals.
30. What's your favorite soda?
mountain dew. i didnt drink soda for years, but mountain dew seduces my mouth lately.
31. Ever moved?
yes sir. now wayyy too much...i was like a nomad for a minute for reals.
32. Favorite sport to watch?
i love sports...hockey, football, the olympics. <3
33. What do you want to do right now?
see travis.
get keith sober. but only he can do that...i can't save him, as bad as i want to.
go swimming.
have a bonfire with everybody!
stand in a room full of colorful butterflies.
feel content. I am very discontent right now.
34. Are you listening to music right now?
yep.
35. Do you like summer break or Christmas break better?
i still think the word break symbolizes fun..i like demf weekend break :P and I love Christmas. And I love summer :) soo specific i know lol.
36. What was the last movie you watched?
Thoth Spirit Science
37. Best place to eat?
eric browns lol.
any really good steakhouse
t.g.i. fridays
38. What time is it?
8:13pm
39. What is your pet peeve?
lying.
40. What song makes you cry?
its not really a song...it's when I'm listening to a song and thoughts arise which bring on emotions ...usually emotions of saddness or hurt...and I am hurt by some of my memories, my mistakes, and the people I've lost who I love.
41. What song makes you happy?
songs that
42. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
44. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
green or orange.....or greenorange! yeah haven't seen that color yet have ya? some SHOCKING color. :)
45. What makes you happy?
love.
and sacred union
and friends
and family
and spirituality
and unity
and laughs
and pure fun
and accomplishing goals
and going to school
and electronic music festivals
and long trips with friends
and seeing someone else I care about be happy.
47. What is your car's name?
no car right now :( i've reverted back to being 15 ugga..in time..
48. What is your dream car?
mm thats hard to say.
49. What is your favorite state?
hm, out of the ones i have been to.. california and tennesse
50. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
anywhere with the people I love.
..
----THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT----
Something important on your desk: a picture rach took and advice she told me on thee back which i rerecieved wayy back in 9th gd.
When you sleep you wear: whateva whateva..aim for comfy clothes.
If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: somethings for friends.
Something you don't have a lot of: time.
If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: not including family, photographs and certain things people gave to me.
MORALS
If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: pshycadelic drugs.
A time when you purposely hurt someone emotionally: ugga ugga..well i knew i wa shurting this boy when i broke up with him for one of our best friends and started dating him.
A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: jessica.
One person you have killed in your thoughts: creepy.
FRIENDS:
Three traits you look for in a friend: fun, wise, and someone i can talk to.
Who makes you laugh most often: bono, david, and steven shew.
A friend who you can tell anything: chris.
A friend you can go to for advice: it depends...
The best piece of advice you had been given: phew..where do i start..
Two closest friends: ahh i miss certain people so much..but lately im probably cloest to steven shew and bono
The friend who uses most of your energy: hahaha.
EGO
Your 3 best qualities: i will try my hardest to make someone happy, im random as fuck when i feel comfortable around a person, i love to listen and can be good with advice...and ill never intentionally judge you.
Your 3 worst qualities: i tend to push people i really care about away when i feel theyve gotten too close, i cant act okay when im not, feeling alone.
Describe your Ideal self: always being on top of things..being stronger and wiser...not so visibly weak.
You are embarrassed when: people point out my weaknesses.
The greatest physical pain you ever endured: hmm..
The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: brad...and then it happened again.
Moment you are most ashamed of: not going there.
Your best physical feature: eyes.
Who/What makes you happy: people i love and concerts...random obsceneties where everyone gives you the "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" look.<33
Who/what makes you sad: memories.
Body: 1. Who were you with Saturday night?
Eric, Kory, Alec, JP, Tiff, Alan, and a few others :)
2. What woke you up this morning?
My mommy...like every morning nowadays.
3. Where are you?
My house
4. Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
my reality is what I make it. If I think it will be a good day, then it will be. I must keep a positive attitude...even with probation...I wish I had someone I could confide in about it.
5. Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
today...no...yesterday...a lot of people.
6. When's the last time you cried?
today..
7. What were you doing at 10 last night?
chillen with kory at my house
8. What were you doing at midnight?
same thing I was doing at 10..lol chillen with kory
9. Ever thrown up from a roller coaster or an amusement park?
nahh...i roll with the big dogs. hah. ((that's what I put the last time I filled this out and that still stands)
10. What's on your mind RIGHT NOW?
wow, what a question. I want to be at peace and not be this jumble of thoughts, but I stop myself because my heart is broken. I see a rainbow as I stand in the rain. However, the rainbow seems miles away...and as I walk towards it...it stays just out of my reach. I hold a temporary rainbow in my hand, but I don't think rainbows are meant to be held so I set it free and in setting it free a piece of me is also set free and a part of me is lost within it.
I praise God for being my best friend and always answering my prayers, even if I don't understand it.
I am thinking also about lak'ech ala k'in <3
And Travis and Keith and Shewy and all of my friends whom I love.
11. Would you take a bullet for anyone?
id try to protect anyone..but I'd take a bullet for my mom, Travis, Shewy, Keith, Eric, and God.
12. Where would you like to live?
anywhere, as long as the people I love are there.
13. What kind of home would you like?
it could be a shack with no plumbing as long as I had the people I love. But if they were there, ideally I'd like a home with all the rooms painted different bright colors and some of them having amazing graffiti on them and art everywhere. A home with good vibes. A log cabin kind of house. Nature would play a huge part in it. A home that makes me and whoever else feel warm, safe, and comfortable.
14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
it would make me soo happy if I were to be a surgeon and to open a rehab.
15. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
trapped in a snowglobe in outer space?..or as eric would like to believe exploding with a crater that detroys the earth in 2012..LAME..hopefully happy..<--lol well eric and Shane its 2012 and planet earth is still here...don't worry we still have a few months left lol. I see myself, hopefully, off of probation, in school working towards medical school, with a car, my own place, and hopefully with someone who cares about me as much as I care about them..in sacred union.
16. Who is your number one on myspace?
lol alec is the only one on my myspace friends...still...yes, i still check mine from time to time.
17. Who is your number two?
only have one :)
18. What is the longest you have gone without checking your myspace?
more than a month...or months *shrug* I use facebook most often but I still get on myspace every now and again
19. Who was the last person that left you a comment?
lol on myspace probably trav or alec or chris...on facebook Steve Kellner
20. Are you friends with this person?
yessss love that nukkah
21. How often do you log in to myspace?
lets go with facebook instead, everyday lately.
22. What do you like to do in the car?
squirt passer byers with water guns...ride with the top of a convertible down in mid winter..dance ..sing..uh have sex?...kidding..<3driving. <--all of that still holds true. i forgot, road trips and go to electronic music festivals. I love driving...the journey and getting to the destination. Plus, I try to not have road rage anymore..it is very unskillful.
23. Do you like candy necklaces?
yes, I still do...I just haven't had the pleasure of wearing one in like a year.
24. When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?
actually...not in a minute. I've become less clumsy somehow...I think it's because I pay more attention to myself and to my body movements.
25. Do you listen to music every day?
oh yes. <3
26. Do you still go trick-or-treating?
i never thought I'd say this, I always thought I'd be one of those in-appropriate 30 year old trick or treaters -lol- but last halloween keith and i passed out a lot of candy together, it was really nice. :) yay for new traditions.
27. What was the last thing you ate?:
mrs. field's chocolate chip cookie dough icecream, i swear I could live off of that stuff...actually, I have before haha.
28. Is it the weekend?
yep, it's sunday. FOOTBALLL!!! Lions lost :( bummer, but its okay we'll get 'em next time.
29. What are you doing tonight?
idk...either hanging out with kory or zac. and at some point writing about my goals.
30. What's your favorite soda?
mountain dew. i didnt drink soda for years, but mountain dew seduces my mouth lately.
31. Ever moved?
yes sir. now wayyy too much...i was like a nomad for a minute for reals.
32. Favorite sport to watch?
i love sports...hockey, football, the olympics. <3
33. What do you want to do right now?
see travis.
get keith sober. but only he can do that...i can't save him, as bad as i want to.
go swimming.
have a bonfire with everybody!
stand in a room full of colorful butterflies.
feel content. I am very discontent right now.
34. Are you listening to music right now?
yep.
35. Do you like summer break or Christmas break better?
i still think the word break symbolizes fun..i like demf weekend break :P and I love Christmas. And I love summer :) soo specific i know lol.
36. What was the last movie you watched?
Thoth Spirit Science
37. Best place to eat?
eric browns lol.
any really good steakhouse
t.g.i. fridays
38. What time is it?
8:13pm
39. What is your pet peeve?
lying.
40. What song makes you cry?
its not really a song...it's when I'm listening to a song and thoughts arise which bring on emotions ...usually emotions of saddness or hurt...and I am hurt by some of my memories, my mistakes, and the people I've lost who I love.
41. What song makes you happy?
songs that
42. What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
44. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
green or orange.....or greenorange! yeah haven't seen that color yet have ya? some SHOCKING color. :)
45. What makes you happy?
love.
and sacred union
and friends
and family
and spirituality
and unity
and laughs
and pure fun
and accomplishing goals
and going to school
and electronic music festivals
and long trips with friends
and seeing someone else I care about be happy.
47. What is your car's name?
no car right now :( i've reverted back to being 15 ugga..in time..
48. What is your dream car?
mm thats hard to say.
49. What is your favorite state?
hm, out of the ones i have been to.. california and tennesse
50. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
anywhere with the people I love.
..
----THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT----
Something important on your desk: a picture rach took and advice she told me on thee back which i rerecieved wayy back in 9th gd.
When you sleep you wear: whateva whateva..aim for comfy clothes.
If you could afford it at the moment, you would buy: somethings for friends.
Something you don't have a lot of: time.
If your house was burning and you could only save 3 items what would they be: not including family, photographs and certain things people gave to me.
MORALS
If there were no side effects, you would enjoy being addicted to: pshycadelic drugs.
A time when you purposely hurt someone emotionally: ugga ugga..well i knew i wa shurting this boy when i broke up with him for one of our best friends and started dating him.
A time you accidentally hurt someone emotionally: jessica.
One person you have killed in your thoughts: creepy.
FRIENDS:
Three traits you look for in a friend: fun, wise, and someone i can talk to.
Who makes you laugh most often: bono, david, and steven shew.
A friend who you can tell anything: chris.
A friend you can go to for advice: it depends...
The best piece of advice you had been given: phew..where do i start..
Two closest friends: ahh i miss certain people so much..but lately im probably cloest to steven shew and bono
The friend who uses most of your energy: hahaha.
EGO
Your 3 best qualities: i will try my hardest to make someone happy, im random as fuck when i feel comfortable around a person, i love to listen and can be good with advice...and ill never intentionally judge you.
Your 3 worst qualities: i tend to push people i really care about away when i feel theyve gotten too close, i cant act okay when im not, feeling alone.
Describe your Ideal self: always being on top of things..being stronger and wiser...not so visibly weak.
You are embarrassed when: people point out my weaknesses.
The greatest physical pain you ever endured: hmm..
The greatest emotional pain you ever endured: brad...and then it happened again.
Moment you are most ashamed of: not going there.
Your best physical feature: eyes.
Who/What makes you happy: people i love and concerts...random obsceneties where everyone gives you the "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" look.<33
Who/what makes you sad: memories.