(no subject)
It's only 1:14, but I've been in bed for over an hour and I can't sleep. And I know that I won't sleep for at least another hour or two.
She's sick. I spent 2.5 hours of my 20th birthday at an animal hospital. I had plans with Brehan, and then my mom said, "Say goodbye to Oreo...just in case." I almost cried and knew I had to go with her. So my mother, brother, sister, and I sat around the hospital while the vet tried to figure out what's wrong. And they still don't know. Only that it'll cost thousands of dollars to actually figure it out, and even more to fix it. And she's 12, and she's already been sick so many times that my parents are afraid to spend more money on her since she's old. They asked for a $2500 deposit and my mother goes, "You're joking, right?" And the guy said no. So my mom thought we'd just take her home, since she was actually a little more perkier today than she has been lately. But I burst out crying right there in the lobby. Because I can't stand the thought of not being with her or of her not being okay. So my mom let her stay for the night, even though they want to keep her for 2-3 nights.
Earlier I cried on my bedroom floor because that's what I used to do when I was upset. But she wasn't there to lay with me tonight. Because she would always lay with me and she knew when I was upset and she understood and listened, and I don't care if she's not human. She's one of my best friends. Before I left for college, I asked God to keep her with me until I made it through the four years, and now I don't know. I'm just afraid of forgetting how she smells and what her ears feel like and the sound of the chains jingling on her collar. I'm scared of being without her on the nights I need to cry on my bedroom floor.
She's sick. I spent 2.5 hours of my 20th birthday at an animal hospital. I had plans with Brehan, and then my mom said, "Say goodbye to Oreo...just in case." I almost cried and knew I had to go with her. So my mother, brother, sister, and I sat around the hospital while the vet tried to figure out what's wrong. And they still don't know. Only that it'll cost thousands of dollars to actually figure it out, and even more to fix it. And she's 12, and she's already been sick so many times that my parents are afraid to spend more money on her since she's old. They asked for a $2500 deposit and my mother goes, "You're joking, right?" And the guy said no. So my mom thought we'd just take her home, since she was actually a little more perkier today than she has been lately. But I burst out crying right there in the lobby. Because I can't stand the thought of not being with her or of her not being okay. So my mom let her stay for the night, even though they want to keep her for 2-3 nights.
Earlier I cried on my bedroom floor because that's what I used to do when I was upset. But she wasn't there to lay with me tonight. Because she would always lay with me and she knew when I was upset and she understood and listened, and I don't care if she's not human. She's one of my best friends. Before I left for college, I asked God to keep her with me until I made it through the four years, and now I don't know. I'm just afraid of forgetting how she smells and what her ears feel like and the sound of the chains jingling on her collar. I'm scared of being without her on the nights I need to cry on my bedroom floor.