Melberry Swirl
I'm reading Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman. Eric and I took his seminar last year at Seattle Center and really respect his extensive research and ability to teach: http://www.gottman.com/marriage/weekend_workshop/ The book is straightforward, deeply research based and eye opening. The main points I have taken away from it thus far is how important it is for both parents, but especially the father, to consistently validate the feelings of his child without mockery or judgment. It's easy to make light or be amused by a young person's feelings (not to mention totally exasperated). It's not easy to get on their level, empathize with them, help them name what they are feeling and then direct them toward self-soothing behaviors (and then repeat that pattern 1,000 times a day). Like so many aspects of parenting, learning to be an emotional coach for your child prompts much introspection. It also is helping me to re-write some of my own history and choose to parent myself differently.
Last week was a hard week emotionally. I scraped my knees hard as PMS, getting sick and a backlog of emotions tumbled down over me. I started taking my responsibility to cognitively be present with my emotions and not let them carry me away more seriously. I've been working hard with Dialectical Behavior Therapy every day and I feel like I'm managing better.
The weekend brought lots of socializing, time with good friends, tipped wine glasses and relaxing hours with the my boy, husband and father. We swam, played and had a movie night. If there is anything I hope that I can be truly emotionally present for, it's this time now with Finn. It is truly precious even while my framework is challenged.
Fall brings the desire to create, so I hope to have time soon for art. I hope to find my focus in the following weeks. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to spend any time cooking what with having a two year old regularly sharing my spatula or scaling me, but I think it may be time to reintroduce the concept of culinary art to my life.
Last week was a hard week emotionally. I scraped my knees hard as PMS, getting sick and a backlog of emotions tumbled down over me. I started taking my responsibility to cognitively be present with my emotions and not let them carry me away more seriously. I've been working hard with Dialectical Behavior Therapy every day and I feel like I'm managing better.
The weekend brought lots of socializing, time with good friends, tipped wine glasses and relaxing hours with the my boy, husband and father. We swam, played and had a movie night. If there is anything I hope that I can be truly emotionally present for, it's this time now with Finn. It is truly precious even while my framework is challenged.
Fall brings the desire to create, so I hope to have time soon for art. I hope to find my focus in the following weeks. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to spend any time cooking what with having a two year old regularly sharing my spatula or scaling me, but I think it may be time to reintroduce the concept of culinary art to my life.