insomnia
Insomnia is a funny thing.
Long nights doing anything to keep your mind occupied while knowing full well that there is a terrible price to be paid the next morning when work and life comes calling tend to strain a person's sense of reality and fantasy, and sometimes, if one is lucky, when the first few rays of light break through the window, a certain epiphany can occur. Undeniable focus of the mind envelops a person who reaches this sweat-soaked state of partial nirvana, and all manner of things become clear to the fevered brain in this condition.
I lay here motionless but wound tighter than a spring in anticipation of accomplishment.
Looking back upon the countless hours I had poured into this endeavor, the words that poured from my naive, hopeful lips as I stared deep into the well of oblivion that the future represents, I came across a pattern. I, for one, am astonished to find that there is any regularity at all in anything I do, intentional or otherwise, as I am a very chaotically organized person. I focus my obsessive-compulsive behavior on keeping certain things, useless things, organized. I permit the important things to fall by the wayside in an attempt to shelter my childlike mind and soul from the frightening reality that is my empty life right now. I have things that fill certain portions, but a man cannot sustain himself on bread alone, there must be a full and rich diet if health is to be preserved and death averted.
In spirit of this event that has occurred far too many times before, and will most certainly occur again if I do not attempt to break out of the vicious cycle that is my almost pointless existence, I point myself in a direction. No longer can I stand idly by and watch as my life takes form as something I had no hand in. Never again will I have an opportunity such as this.
Waking from a nightmare is more comfortable than what I am contemplating.
The time has come to break from this shell of apathy and forgetfulness. It is all too easy to enjoy the comforts of life without paying the price for them. When we do so, we forget that the comforts are not the norm, but the reward for a fruitful existence- we become complacent and lazy and take such gifts for granted. Monsters, we become, and frighten away all others in an attempt to maintain the lavish excesses of our hedonistic lives.
Sleep, you call to me. I answer, and obey.
Tomorrow I awake a new man, ready to face the future with renewed vigor and focus.
Long nights doing anything to keep your mind occupied while knowing full well that there is a terrible price to be paid the next morning when work and life comes calling tend to strain a person's sense of reality and fantasy, and sometimes, if one is lucky, when the first few rays of light break through the window, a certain epiphany can occur. Undeniable focus of the mind envelops a person who reaches this sweat-soaked state of partial nirvana, and all manner of things become clear to the fevered brain in this condition.
I lay here motionless but wound tighter than a spring in anticipation of accomplishment.
Looking back upon the countless hours I had poured into this endeavor, the words that poured from my naive, hopeful lips as I stared deep into the well of oblivion that the future represents, I came across a pattern. I, for one, am astonished to find that there is any regularity at all in anything I do, intentional or otherwise, as I am a very chaotically organized person. I focus my obsessive-compulsive behavior on keeping certain things, useless things, organized. I permit the important things to fall by the wayside in an attempt to shelter my childlike mind and soul from the frightening reality that is my empty life right now. I have things that fill certain portions, but a man cannot sustain himself on bread alone, there must be a full and rich diet if health is to be preserved and death averted.
In spirit of this event that has occurred far too many times before, and will most certainly occur again if I do not attempt to break out of the vicious cycle that is my almost pointless existence, I point myself in a direction. No longer can I stand idly by and watch as my life takes form as something I had no hand in. Never again will I have an opportunity such as this.
Waking from a nightmare is more comfortable than what I am contemplating.
The time has come to break from this shell of apathy and forgetfulness. It is all too easy to enjoy the comforts of life without paying the price for them. When we do so, we forget that the comforts are not the norm, but the reward for a fruitful existence- we become complacent and lazy and take such gifts for granted. Monsters, we become, and frighten away all others in an attempt to maintain the lavish excesses of our hedonistic lives.
Sleep, you call to me. I answer, and obey.
Tomorrow I awake a new man, ready to face the future with renewed vigor and focus.