Letter One
I walked on the beach tonight.
I was a little drunk, I admit, but something huge took a hold of me.
There is a vastness that you can only feel when you are connected to something so limitless, so incredibly endless that there are no words, just feelings.
I thought about you while I felt that. I didn't understand why I thought about you.
You're not limitless or infinite, omnipresent, or (god forbid) speechless.
You're just the woman I love.
I sat down for a few minutes, let the sound of the water praying to the sand wash over me, and thought some more about why you invaded my thoughts during such a profound moment of reflection.
I had an epiphany, and this astonished me.
Reflection requires a self-image to measure yourself against. Some people cannot bear to look at themselves in the mirror because their image is tarnished, wasted away by the horrifying things that they've seen or done, and so the re-iteration of those images cast into their own self image is too painful.
You are my self image, the standard which I measure myself to. When I look in the mirror, or into myself, I see your eyes, I see the thoughts that you would have were I to do something stupid, something brilliant, something heroic, or something craven. I cannot look at you and lie, and in that immense moment of self-realization, I understood just how much you have taken over my soul.
I left the plain water behind, thinking only of you.
I was a little drunk, I admit, but something huge took a hold of me.
There is a vastness that you can only feel when you are connected to something so limitless, so incredibly endless that there are no words, just feelings.
I thought about you while I felt that. I didn't understand why I thought about you.
You're not limitless or infinite, omnipresent, or (god forbid) speechless.
You're just the woman I love.
I sat down for a few minutes, let the sound of the water praying to the sand wash over me, and thought some more about why you invaded my thoughts during such a profound moment of reflection.
I had an epiphany, and this astonished me.
Reflection requires a self-image to measure yourself against. Some people cannot bear to look at themselves in the mirror because their image is tarnished, wasted away by the horrifying things that they've seen or done, and so the re-iteration of those images cast into their own self image is too painful.
You are my self image, the standard which I measure myself to. When I look in the mirror, or into myself, I see your eyes, I see the thoughts that you would have were I to do something stupid, something brilliant, something heroic, or something craven. I cannot look at you and lie, and in that immense moment of self-realization, I understood just how much you have taken over my soul.
I left the plain water behind, thinking only of you.