It is always better to be honest with each other, as much as possible and as early as possible. If you're getting negative vibes, give her some space for a bit, see if she starts pulling you back in. Or maybe you need to just ask her point blank where she sees this going - or not going. It's hard, yes, but you're both wasting time in a ruse if you're not on the same page about the relationship.
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I don't want to lose her, but I need to know that I am doing something... more... than just a "Lloyd Dobler" without a song in my bombox, you know?
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