~~JUST SAYING GOOD BYE~~
everything hurts and i just can't stop crying.. me and kevin broke up on monday. and i just want to die... now i have never thought about doign this until we really did break up. i feel if i kill myself then i won't have to be upset. i wont have pain anymore. i have a broken heart, pictures of my bF all over everywhere (NECKLACE,ring, braclet (i wear always),car,keys,house,room,parents talk about him all the time,pjs there his..) i just cant get him off my mind if i wanted too.. which i dont so don't get me wrong.. i love this kid to death and i want no1 else in this world but him. but what am i going to do we broke up which means that i might never get to be with him again... i can't live with out him.. i have been crying ever since we broke up. at nite i have to cry myself to sleep i hug the bear that he got me and i have a sweatshirt of his that i either wrap around me or also cuddle with.. i might sound pathetic but i don't care. i love kevin more then anything else in the world
i thought that talking to roy (his best friend) about things but that just made everything worse.. he told me that he doesn't think that we would get back together, and that just made me cry more.. kevin lost my necklace and i think that things haven't been the same since then. i am buying him a new one (even tho were not together) and i'm sending him flowers and cream savers & a new necklace..along with it and a card that just says "remember when.. i love you" i don't no what else to do... i cant get him out of my head and i dont want too... all i want is to change so that he wants to be with me again.. bc i am obsesssed with him and i don't care... he is the only person that was keeping me alive.. cause i'm thinking of suside again.. there is no reason to wake up in the morning.. i use to be so happy... not anymore not with out him... i go to work sad and depressed not wanting to work. i go to school i just think about him and draw his name. i cry everytime i see a pic of us or just a pic of him.. i'm miserable i can't live anymore or at least like this.. i think that killing myself is the best option... it was nice hearing from everyone.. well people that did read my LJ....... good bye.. just check the papers for my name under the obutary....
I LOVE YOU KEVIN 12..22.02 - 9..13..04 -almost 21 months (1 year and 9 months)
love - heather