The phantom shoes
This morning, as I sat on my floor to pick up and pack my laundry, I found a mysterious pair of shoes.
They are very nice shoes, black leather with a zip-up top, exactly the sort of shoes I would wear. Except that they are not my shoes. I do not own very many pairs of shoes, and I know the provenance of them all. Also, these mysterious shoes are a size 8 1/2, and I wear a 6 1/2. I tried them on to see if they felt familiar, and they don't. They're too large to be comfortable, so I'm sure I didn't buy them.
I pondered and pondered, and came up with these explanations:
1. I had bought them and forgotten about them due to the discovery that they don't fit, then tossed them into the back of my closet, and they ended up on the floor when I cleaned the closet, as I did recently.
2. They somehow fell into my bag when I was at someone else's house.
3. Someone broke into my house and left them there to fuck with me. Oh my God, it's Jacob! In addition to last night's Lost giving me a fear of chairs, I am now afraid of shoes!
4. Due to working on my various jobs from the instant I got up, I have not yet had any coffee this morning. That is why it took me till beginning this post to realize that they probably belong to umbo, who had her luggage in my bedroom yesterday.
This reminds me of my favorite message from the dojo e-mail list, from our sensei, which read something like this:
"Is anyone missing a pair of size twelve shoes? I must have put on someone else's shoes in the locker room last night, and drove home before I realized. I can't think I did that, because I wear a size nine and my feet are swimming in them."
The reason this cracked us all up is that he had, that very night, given us a lecture on alertness and paying attention to our surroundings, with particular emphasis on the idea that we should do this all the time and not just in the dojo.
...If those shoes are not umbo's, I am officially freaked out.
ETA: Yep, the shoes belong to umbo.
They are very nice shoes, black leather with a zip-up top, exactly the sort of shoes I would wear. Except that they are not my shoes. I do not own very many pairs of shoes, and I know the provenance of them all. Also, these mysterious shoes are a size 8 1/2, and I wear a 6 1/2. I tried them on to see if they felt familiar, and they don't. They're too large to be comfortable, so I'm sure I didn't buy them.
I pondered and pondered, and came up with these explanations:
1. I had bought them and forgotten about them due to the discovery that they don't fit, then tossed them into the back of my closet, and they ended up on the floor when I cleaned the closet, as I did recently.
2. They somehow fell into my bag when I was at someone else's house.
3. Someone broke into my house and left them there to fuck with me. Oh my God, it's Jacob! In addition to last night's Lost giving me a fear of chairs, I am now afraid of shoes!
4. Due to working on my various jobs from the instant I got up, I have not yet had any coffee this morning. That is why it took me till beginning this post to realize that they probably belong to umbo, who had her luggage in my bedroom yesterday.
This reminds me of my favorite message from the dojo e-mail list, from our sensei, which read something like this:
"Is anyone missing a pair of size twelve shoes? I must have put on someone else's shoes in the locker room last night, and drove home before I realized. I can't think I did that, because I wear a size nine and my feet are swimming in them."
The reason this cracked us all up is that he had, that very night, given us a lecture on alertness and paying attention to our surroundings, with particular emphasis on the idea that we should do this all the time and not just in the dojo.
...If those shoes are not umbo's, I am officially freaked out.
ETA: Yep, the shoes belong to umbo.