(no subject)
my horoscope for today was:
At last you see an opportunity that actually means something to you. You and your brethren rejoice. Commitment is the easiest thing in the world when it's personal.
sometimes i have a hard time relating these horoscopes thinggys to my life...maybe because i dont fully understand them
or maybe because i apply them to my life they way i want them to be applied not the way they are intended...
on monday i met this guy i thought was really cute at the basketball court on lemongrove.
and i didnt think it was a big deal.
on tuesday he asked my friends about where i was when they showed up to the court without me-
i still didnt think it was a big deal.
then yesterday he called my friend and asked if we needed a ride to the court
and told her he wanted to see me.
i was like whoa.
so he came to pick us up and then we went to drop some peole off and pick someother people up...we went to a kick back and were having fun...
for some reason in the middle of it all i decided to check my voicemail...
randy left me two messages
he wanted me to come over...
after all the shit...why the fuck?
i am just getting over him
-well, i try and make myself think i am-
and i finally get the guts to not call HIM or page HIM or go see HIM
and HE calles ME
i dont know what the fuck is going on
he doesnt want me
but he does
and i dont want him
but i do...
i know i shouldnt go over there
but i want to
im not going to go over there
but i want to
i wonder...
if i just let my self fall in
one more time
if all the pain and all the want for him
will be gone
because maybe that one last time will give me the satisfaction of having the memory of his touch in my mind prolonged for just one more day...
just one more day to help me make it thru this life...
maybe i just need one more day with him
to get over him
and then everything will be ok
because i never said goodbye
and i know i dont need to
my heart wants to
and it drives me crazy
because i think of him every second of everyday...
every minuet that i am alive.
i wake up and i find my chest so heavy
that i cant barely breathe
and i wonder if this is how its suppost to feel...
is this love
or loss
it was never good for me to love him...
and i dont know where to go from here
or what to say-
how to act or what to do...
and i need someone who understands
but i dont think anyone does
maybe
he does....
<3
<3
At last you see an opportunity that actually means something to you. You and your brethren rejoice. Commitment is the easiest thing in the world when it's personal.
sometimes i have a hard time relating these horoscopes thinggys to my life...maybe because i dont fully understand them
or maybe because i apply them to my life they way i want them to be applied not the way they are intended...
on monday i met this guy i thought was really cute at the basketball court on lemongrove.
and i didnt think it was a big deal.
on tuesday he asked my friends about where i was when they showed up to the court without me-
i still didnt think it was a big deal.
then yesterday he called my friend and asked if we needed a ride to the court
and told her he wanted to see me.
i was like whoa.
so he came to pick us up and then we went to drop some peole off and pick someother people up...we went to a kick back and were having fun...
for some reason in the middle of it all i decided to check my voicemail...
randy left me two messages
he wanted me to come over...
after all the shit...why the fuck?
i am just getting over him
-well, i try and make myself think i am-
and i finally get the guts to not call HIM or page HIM or go see HIM
and HE calles ME
i dont know what the fuck is going on
he doesnt want me
but he does
and i dont want him
but i do...
i know i shouldnt go over there
but i want to
im not going to go over there
but i want to
i wonder...
if i just let my self fall in
one more time
if all the pain and all the want for him
will be gone
because maybe that one last time will give me the satisfaction of having the memory of his touch in my mind prolonged for just one more day...
just one more day to help me make it thru this life...
maybe i just need one more day with him
to get over him
and then everything will be ok
because i never said goodbye
and i know i dont need to
my heart wants to
and it drives me crazy
because i think of him every second of everyday...
every minuet that i am alive.
i wake up and i find my chest so heavy
that i cant barely breathe
and i wonder if this is how its suppost to feel...
is this love
or loss
it was never good for me to love him...
and i dont know where to go from here
or what to say-
how to act or what to do...
and i need someone who understands
but i dont think anyone does
maybe
he does....
<3
<3