Give a little, take a little...
I saw my old manager (as in previous, not elderly) today and we briefly caught up on our news. I talked a little about being in a new relationship after being single for so long and how I suddenly am negotiating all kinds of unfamiliar situations. Andy occasionally invites me to do things I would normally avoid (church events, swing dancing, camping), and I want to please him and/or I don't want to disappoint him, so I keep wavering about how much to suck it up and go with it, and how much to say no. Al seemed a little amused by my anxiety. He's been with the same woman for... I want to say... 30 years? Since high school. He says they still negotiate those issues. It stressed him out in the beginning because he thought that people in love should do everything together, or at least want to do everything together. But now there are some things that they just prefer to do alone or with friends, and that's fine. He pointed out that it's actually not that fun to do something with someone who you know doesn't want to be there or is uncomfortable. I feel like a little bit of an idiot for being 34 years old without having learned this lesson. But I'm getting there. I figure I can say yes to some things (I'll give backpacking another try - I can tolerate the physical discomfort of missing a soft, warm bed and a toilet for a night or two), I can say no to others (the psychological discomfort of dancing is too much at this stage), and I can say sometimes to the rest (church events).
Those of you who read that bit about church events and are suddenly going, "WTF?!?," just calm down already! He's a Unitarian Universalist. I actually have gone to a couple of events at his church. I figure I'll go to events that are special occasions (concerts or dedication ceremonies or what have you) and be supportive, but not regular services. Somehow that makes it feel less like drinking their Kool-aid. And let's face it, Unitarian Kool-aid is not that scary. Maybe one day I will try the services to see what it's like. I dunno. Churches give me the heebie-jeebies.
Hey, speaking of churches, do you remember Belief-O-Matic? This quiz was going around 8 or 10 year ago. I seem to remember it being longer before, but it's only 20 questions, and then it tells you how similar your beliefs are to the major world religions' systems of beliefs. It's pretty amusing.
1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (92%)
3. Liberal Quakers (79%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (69%)
5. Neo-Pagan (68%)
6. Nontheist (68%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (65%)
8. New Age (55%)
9. Reform Judaism (49%)
10. Taoism (49%)
11. Orthodox Quaker (44%)
12. Mahayana Buddhism (43%)
13. Scientology (36%)
14. Sikhism (34%)
15. New Thought (33%)
16. Baha'i Faith (29%)
17. Jainism (27%)
18. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (27%)
19. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (26%)
20. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
21. Hinduism (19%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (19%)
23. Eastern Orthodox (17%)
24. Islam (17%)
25. Orthodox Judaism (17%)
26. Roman Catholic (17%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (14%)
It's no surprise that I'm 100% secular humanist. I'm such a godless heathen. :-) My poor grandmother would be horrified. What is surprising is that I have much in common with Christian Protestants. These stats make me kind-of curious about Liberal Quakers. As I told Andy, I wouldn't have guessed that I'd have much in common with Quakers, except for a fondness for freshly churned butter.
Those of you who read that bit about church events and are suddenly going, "WTF?!?," just calm down already! He's a Unitarian Universalist. I actually have gone to a couple of events at his church. I figure I'll go to events that are special occasions (concerts or dedication ceremonies or what have you) and be supportive, but not regular services. Somehow that makes it feel less like drinking their Kool-aid. And let's face it, Unitarian Kool-aid is not that scary. Maybe one day I will try the services to see what it's like. I dunno. Churches give me the heebie-jeebies.
Hey, speaking of churches, do you remember Belief-O-Matic? This quiz was going around 8 or 10 year ago. I seem to remember it being longer before, but it's only 20 questions, and then it tells you how similar your beliefs are to the major world religions' systems of beliefs. It's pretty amusing.
1. Secular Humanism (100%)
2. Unitarian Universalism (92%)
3. Liberal Quakers (79%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (69%)
5. Neo-Pagan (68%)
6. Nontheist (68%)
7. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (65%)
8. New Age (55%)
9. Reform Judaism (49%)
10. Taoism (49%)
11. Orthodox Quaker (44%)
12. Mahayana Buddhism (43%)
13. Scientology (36%)
14. Sikhism (34%)
15. New Thought (33%)
16. Baha'i Faith (29%)
17. Jainism (27%)
18. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (27%)
19. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (26%)
20. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
21. Hinduism (19%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (19%)
23. Eastern Orthodox (17%)
24. Islam (17%)
25. Orthodox Judaism (17%)
26. Roman Catholic (17%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (14%)
It's no surprise that I'm 100% secular humanist. I'm such a godless heathen. :-) My poor grandmother would be horrified. What is surprising is that I have much in common with Christian Protestants. These stats make me kind-of curious about Liberal Quakers. As I told Andy, I wouldn't have guessed that I'd have much in common with Quakers, except for a fondness for freshly churned butter.