OK, Computer...
I give up. Why do you hate me so? Why did you stroke out on me just as I was starting a big new project for work, you faithless pile of silicon, forcing me to work on the damn POS HP with the wonky, Bluetoof keyboard i can't type properly on? You know I'm a shitty typist to begin with - why for you hate me so?
Haven't I treated you well enough? Don't I keep you fully stocked with lots of pictures of The Most Beautiful Man on the Planet (TM)? Look at him:
Well, luckily the guy at Dell's tech support who sounded exactly like Raj on The Big Bang Theory is sending us a new memory chip for you and he even made sure I knew how to install it. You will be as right as rain by tomorrow. If you promise to give me another 6 months of uninterrupted service, I promise I'll buuy you those new speakers you've been eyeing.
What do you say: truce?