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I am tired of being brave.
I am tired of meeting new people.
I am tired of telling people I like them.
I am tired of being okay when they don't like me back.
I am tired of trying to be friends with my ex-boyfriend, and of cooking for myself, and of opening myself up and putting myself out there with no guarantee that anything is ever really going to work out.
I am tired of making sensible decisions and STILL having shit happen.
People in relationships who insist on telling me that they miss being single do not actually remember what it is like. Or they had some type of incredibly different experience that I personally think they are making up in their mind. Or they need to re-examine their current relationship, because dudes, this shit is LONELY. And beneath everything is the fear that maybe you'll never find someone. No matter how many times you tell yourself not to be silly, no matter how many friends reassure you, the truth is that so far, you've proven them wrong.
I'm not saying that I expect a functional relationship to suddenly fix everything. As far as I can tell, you tend to graduate to different problems and angst, but I am growing seriously weary of the familiar problems surrounding the search for someone who loves me whom I love back.
Also, I should probably go eat a sandwich because I often get angst-ridden when I'm hungry.