Sunday, September 26th, 2004
Hi! This is your lovely dictator, Rabbit, speaking. How do I find you this fine evening? Were we all good little boys? Did we go to church this morning? Glad to hear it. I didn't. Even if I had a religion, I probably wouldn't practice it. Oh, and I really don't care what your answer was to that question. If it was yes, good for you for believing in something. If it was no, good for you for not being held to tradition. Sometimes the best ways to suceed in life is to take your own path. You know what I believe? If you set a goal for yourself and you really, truly want to achieve it, all you have to do is persevere. Sheesh. I don't even know how to spell that without asking. Wow. I'm making a lot of mistakes tonight. I guess that's another thing I have to work on. My handwriting and spelling. I could start reading the dictionary, like my sister did once. Nah. I think I'll take my own path. My handwriting has started to get pretty sloppy right now, huh? My hand is getting tired. I think I'll end here for now. You're just too hard to talk/write to at this time o' the night. See ya! Stay cramped and horny.
That was the entry I handwrote just a little bit ago. I would end there, but something just popped up. My father just informed me that he was leaving for the night because he and my mother couldn't have a reasonable conversation. I asked him if he really thought that was a good idea. I obviously couldn't change his mind, because he's leaving now. This all started when my mother asked me what was bothering me earlier. I'm fine now, but the whole household is in shambles. Right now, I think I just have to take care of myself. If other people want to create problems for themsleves, they'll have to sort it out on their own. I have my own life to take care of, and since I'm heading toward a time of year that is particularly dangerous for me, I don't think I can really afford to try taking care of other people. My father won't be coming home until after work tomorrow, so I won't see him until then. Zach's mother may be getting married, but I fear my own parents are slowly heading for divorce. This has happened before, except it was my mother who left for the night. She took my sister. We couldn't even resolve it the next morning. As far as I'm concerned, it never did get resolved. We are all dependant on this house and each other. Maybe my parents will never get divorced. To me, it will always be a lingering possibility.
My mother won't be able to make it to my school's open house on the 4th. In fact, I'm going to have to get a ride to and from driver's ed. Probably with a girl I hate. I sense a very tense car ride ahead. My father said something about possibly not making it as well, but I don't believe that they'd leave me hanging like that.
I'm going to talk to my principal about my problems absorbing information through reading and about the fact that my math class is way to easy. I know, I know. Most teenagers wouldn't think that was a problem, but I do. I want to go to college and lead a sucessful life. If I have to have a harder math class to do that, then so be it. It may be easy to rip off good grades now, but if I continue doing that, college will be hell. And I am going to college. I will overcome all of this and be a sucess in life. As I said earlier, all you really have to do is persevere. Don't give up just because things aren't working out right now. Things will get better if you work at it. Trust me. My life used to be hell in a handbag. I used to be so messed up I wanted to die. Now listen to me. The only reason I am where I am today is because I persevered. I didn't give up on my dream to lead a happy, healthy life. Yeah, it does get hard at times, and I temporarily lose my grip, but I just keep telling myself I can make it, and soon enough, things turn themselves around. Whoops. That was a run-on sentence.
You know what I'm really going to have to work on? Overcoming the fact that some people are intimidated by how smart I am. No, I'm not being cocky when I say that. Okay, sidenote: my sister says that everytime I talk to her, she imagines a big, hairy guy or something like that. Wieeeerd. Anyway, it seems that even my teachers are intimidated by me. All I want to do is suceed and get on with my life. I know the education is better at the regular high-school, but I don't think I'm mentally ready to deal with a classroom that big. I haven't even had a year to recover yet. Maybe next school-year I'll be ready, but not now. No way, jose. So, for now, I'm just going to have to work my way around the limitations I have. We'll see what my principal wants to do about my math class tomorrow. I get the impression that the reason my teacher hasn't offered me something harder is because he can't teach anything harder. These teachers got hired because they have psych degrees, not because they can actually teach well. Sigh. We'll see. I'll be sure to update more on that later.
Hmmm. This entry turned out to be much longer than I anticipated. And it seems like it's about to get longer. It sounds like my father is back. I just heard the garage door open. I wonder why he came back. Maybe he's come to his senses and has decided not to run away from his problems. Maybe it's just my mom leaving as well. Maybe I should go find out. There's the garage door closing. And the back hall door. Footsteps. I'm gonna go check this out. I'll update sometime tomorrow. Or not. We'll see.
-Rabbit