Don't even bother, it really concerns no one

Nov 03, 2004 21:45

(read this whole entry, I'll give you a buck)
So we're almost done with week one of "like without matt". So far, doing ok. I've de-mattified my room. Put away anything that reminds me of him (leaving the room pretty bare) and burned his pictures, which I'll one day regret doing of course. I've reduced my crying spells to only about two-three times a day now, and they don't last long at all. Pretty silly considering I dumped him. But I thought he'd at least be upset, or mourn me a little longer. Turns out he was spotted on a date, holding hands with another lady at great lakes on monday. I dumped him friday, he has a new girl on monday. (someone remind me WHY I didn't fuck anyone this weekend at state?!?! I'm an idiot) He said it was a double blind date that he went on for a friend, and that he didn't fuck her (or to accurately quote his text message, "funk" her) Which doesn't make me feel much better. Not my style, it's all a bit too Jerry Springer for me. He had time to take her to the mall, but he never had more than an hour outside of class for me.

So I've been passing the time in some interesting ways. Getting into fights with my mom and emma. Emma because I told her not to yell, and my mom because I voted for Kerry (I shit you not, the argument started over Theresa Heinz) So since I've got no one to hang out with really, I've been doing a lot of beauty treatments to a) make matt beg for me to take him back or b) to have a fresh start when I get back in the saddle. p.s. since matt's already dating, I should be too...BACK IN THE SADDLE KIDS! WHOEVER WANTS A RIDE, YOU ARE NOW FREE TO APPLY~ an $89 teeth whitening kit, clay masks, $70 hair cuts, tanning... being hot is gonna cause me to bounce a few checks.

I'm not going to class tomorrow. I bet matt drops it, just to avoid me. I can't take the risk though, I can't see him right now. I'll go back in two weeks when I've had time to get used to the fact that he's happy now and it's because I'm not in his life anymore. But right now I'm being a little kid, because thats all I can think about. Him driving her up and down woodward until 6am just talking, kissing her at every stoplight...making her laugh more than anyone ever has...writing her emails that make her temporarily stop breathing... taking her to meet his family up north and have sex with her in the middle of the woods...telling her in italian she's georgeous and her love is more than he deserves. That's all I think about, 24/7 and it makes me hurt so bad I feel like I've swallowed poison.

And now there's nothing...

p.s. if you're a member of the a-team, please disregard the above confession. If diane asks, I was sick. very very sick.
P.p.s. Bush is president again?? Are you fucking kidding me??
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