Vondal's Vandals - In the Doghouse
Nothing is what it seems in this place, or so it seems. Or doesn't seem. Or something. Either way, it's all rather unseemly.
First of all, a bunch of statues managed to talk to us, apparently chanting one of the ritual prayers of a good dwarven god or some such, and sent us off on a quest to rescue their poor captured servant. Whoever thought of such a thing? Statues can't talk! Anyhow, despite my usual protestations, my fool companions followed the statues' instructions and sure enough within moments we found ourselves in a tight space with a bunch of smelly demi-devils and a succubus. All a big ruse to try and lure us to our deaths, once again.
Funnily enough, the statues had nothing to say for themselves afterward. When will this lot learn?
I'm not sure if it's a good development or not, but in the chapel where we slew the succubus we also found a gem which the dirty old talking head Virallis claimed to be part of her essence, or some such nonsense. If you ask me, it looks like she had a hell of a case of kidney stones, and if there are more of those inside her corpse when we find it I'll be mining it for riches before we let her walk in it again.
We also unlocked a secret room where I found a nice suit of black chainmail armour, oiled and polished as if it had been sitting there waiting just for me. I shed my stinking old leather and felt the comforting weight of the chain on my shoulders. Just like the old days.
But I'm waffling now, off in my own world, as usual. Bear with me.
No, there wasn't a bear. That wasn't a pun. Please, people, try to take this seriously. The fate of more than just our world hangs in the balance here.
Well, I can't actually back that up with any sort of quantitative data, but there's definitely a vibe that things are not well. Which might mean that the fate of multiple worlds is at stake, you just never know.
Moving along, we cleaved our way through hordes of minions to find ourselves in a brutal duel with a werewolf, of all the strange things to find in a moonless place like this. I'll be honest and say that I was by all means more of a commander in this battle than an actual participant. I took a few blows early on and fell back to rain blast after blast of magic on the beast, shouting encouragement all the while to Vondal and Enna who were in the thick of it. Yes, they got a bit torn up and might've come away a little bit diseased, but I have to say I had total control of the whole affair. Just like the old days, it was, watching the battle spread out before me in a tide of blood and iron, accompanied by the sweet symphony of wounded howls and breaking bones. Marvelous stuff.
Enna put the foul beast out of its misery in the end, and I congratulated my troops on winning another fine victory on our path to destroy the treacherous Karavakos. Watching them limp away from the fight reminded me yet again of the good old days, and also reminded why last time I did this, I didn't do it with a handful of noble companions.
Last time, I did at the head of an army.
Anyone seen a spare army around here? I could really use one right about now.
First of all, a bunch of statues managed to talk to us, apparently chanting one of the ritual prayers of a good dwarven god or some such, and sent us off on a quest to rescue their poor captured servant. Whoever thought of such a thing? Statues can't talk! Anyhow, despite my usual protestations, my fool companions followed the statues' instructions and sure enough within moments we found ourselves in a tight space with a bunch of smelly demi-devils and a succubus. All a big ruse to try and lure us to our deaths, once again.
Funnily enough, the statues had nothing to say for themselves afterward. When will this lot learn?
I'm not sure if it's a good development or not, but in the chapel where we slew the succubus we also found a gem which the dirty old talking head Virallis claimed to be part of her essence, or some such nonsense. If you ask me, it looks like she had a hell of a case of kidney stones, and if there are more of those inside her corpse when we find it I'll be mining it for riches before we let her walk in it again.
We also unlocked a secret room where I found a nice suit of black chainmail armour, oiled and polished as if it had been sitting there waiting just for me. I shed my stinking old leather and felt the comforting weight of the chain on my shoulders. Just like the old days.
But I'm waffling now, off in my own world, as usual. Bear with me.
No, there wasn't a bear. That wasn't a pun. Please, people, try to take this seriously. The fate of more than just our world hangs in the balance here.
Well, I can't actually back that up with any sort of quantitative data, but there's definitely a vibe that things are not well. Which might mean that the fate of multiple worlds is at stake, you just never know.
Moving along, we cleaved our way through hordes of minions to find ourselves in a brutal duel with a werewolf, of all the strange things to find in a moonless place like this. I'll be honest and say that I was by all means more of a commander in this battle than an actual participant. I took a few blows early on and fell back to rain blast after blast of magic on the beast, shouting encouragement all the while to Vondal and Enna who were in the thick of it. Yes, they got a bit torn up and might've come away a little bit diseased, but I have to say I had total control of the whole affair. Just like the old days, it was, watching the battle spread out before me in a tide of blood and iron, accompanied by the sweet symphony of wounded howls and breaking bones. Marvelous stuff.
Enna put the foul beast out of its misery in the end, and I congratulated my troops on winning another fine victory on our path to destroy the treacherous Karavakos. Watching them limp away from the fight reminded me yet again of the good old days, and also reminded why last time I did this, I didn't do it with a handful of noble companions.
Last time, I did at the head of an army.
Anyone seen a spare army around here? I could really use one right about now.