Merry Christmas, baby
I'm supposed to clean up the house since 3 hours ago but I've been procrastinating and thinking about how my life is gonna be like should (touchwood) one of my family member is resting in heavenly peace. I don't quite enjoy being at home back when I was younger, but right now, I'm just lying on my sofa and looking out at the sky infront of me, listening to the different noises from all around. All will be even better if it's snowing right now and we have huge conifer trees and all kinds of other huge ass trees like we see on tv and I'm lying on the warm wooden floor by the fireplace with my dog and listening to acoustic Christmas songs. I have a friend who's right now in Germany with her boyfriend and she's really a lucky girl to love and be loved in return. And my cousin just came over with her kids and she's been to france, america and all other countries that i could ever dream of with them and sigh... Sometimes i just feel that money really can make or break someone apart. Each time whenever I look at their pictures I get this warm fuzzy feeling inside that tells me that to each, his own and that we should always be happy with what we have. Zomg I think I should start saving up so that I can travel around Europe where their houses are like cottages and they have cobbled pathways and I swear, I swear and tripple swear that I'll never, ever cut my hair short again. *sings in tune with billionaire* I miss my long hair.... Sooooo freaking much, that I wish that I've never gone to cuttttt... To be honest, my grandma is getting on in her years and I really don't know how I'm gonna be like should..... My temperament has got to change for the better but it just keeps blowing right up to the top.
I still need to find my purpose in life. And to get to know myself better. I wanna enjoy life as it is and not be petty and cranky at the littlest stuffs. Right now, I just wanna head on to the beach and just lie there and look up at the sky and fall asleep with the breeze craddling me to sleep but life is all about so many other things - getting things done like house cleaning is one such example of snapping back to reality.