Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids
I may not be a parent, but these are things I am fairly certain to be true:
A 2-and-a-half-year-old should not able to operate a VCR, especially a two-and-a-half-year-old who is not yet able to talk. (Huh, maybe there might be some correlation there, you think?)
If your preemie-born 15-month-old is chronically croupy and congested, perhaps you SHOULDN’T be feeding her upwards of a 1/4 gallon of cold milk every 24 hours.
A 4-, 7-, and 12-year-old should NOT be given free rein of the cable and OnDemand movie channel. Especially when the 12-year-old’s tastes for family group viewing include PG-13 movies and lots of cable reality shows like Underaged and Engaged, The Hills, etc.
If you didn't put your kids down for a 3-to-4-hour nap in the middle of the day, perhaps they'd actually GO TO SLEEP at bedtime.
Other things:
Overstimulation is, in my opinion, the most common childrearing flaw today.
Addendum: mild parental negligence (i.e. "tuning out" "mm-hmm?" "just a minute, dear") both and intensifies this problem.
A cow flashlight that makes "moo" noises that sound suspicously like farts everytime it's turned on is highly entertaining ... especially when you're trying to read an entire chapter of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" by the light of said (automatically shuts off after two minutes) flashlight.
The capacity of a 2-&-1/2-year-old to listen to "If You're Happy and You Know It (Clap Your Hands/Stomp Your Feet/Shake Your Head/Etc)" far exceeds the capacity of a 26-&-1/2-year-old to sing it.
A 2-and-a-half-year-old should not able to operate a VCR, especially a two-and-a-half-year-old who is not yet able to talk. (Huh, maybe there might be some correlation there, you think?)
If your preemie-born 15-month-old is chronically croupy and congested, perhaps you SHOULDN’T be feeding her upwards of a 1/4 gallon of cold milk every 24 hours.
A 4-, 7-, and 12-year-old should NOT be given free rein of the cable and OnDemand movie channel. Especially when the 12-year-old’s tastes for family group viewing include PG-13 movies and lots of cable reality shows like Underaged and Engaged, The Hills, etc.
If you didn't put your kids down for a 3-to-4-hour nap in the middle of the day, perhaps they'd actually GO TO SLEEP at bedtime.
Other things:
Overstimulation is, in my opinion, the most common childrearing flaw today.
Addendum: mild parental negligence (i.e. "tuning out" "mm-hmm?" "just a minute, dear") both and intensifies this problem.
A cow flashlight that makes "moo" noises that sound suspicously like farts everytime it's turned on is highly entertaining ... especially when you're trying to read an entire chapter of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" by the light of said (automatically shuts off after two minutes) flashlight.
The capacity of a 2-&-1/2-year-old to listen to "If You're Happy and You Know It (Clap Your Hands/Stomp Your Feet/Shake Your Head/Etc)" far exceeds the capacity of a 26-&-1/2-year-old to sing it.