I lost my virginity today.
I lost my virginity today.
I have now joined the 21st century ranks of those who send text messages. Whoo hoo ! About time, eh ? I only had texting ability on my cell phone plan for less than a month, and I wanted my first time to be special. Doesn't every girl want her first time to be special and meaningful ?
I wanted to send the first text to either Petey or James (my sons), since they are my most important people, and the ones most likely to both tease me to death and be condescendingly proud of me at the same time. I had “come out” to my best friend at the beginning of last month and told her that I did have texting ability now, and I tried to figure out what to compose for my all-important first message. I was hoping for something inappropriately creepy, to be funny, but all I could think of was “What are you wearing ?” Apparently, I'm just naturally too straight-laced, upright/uptight and square to really pull off a good creepy stalker message even when I try hard. And without the ability to type heavy breathing and a creepy tone of voice, this just wasn't going to cut it. That, and I actually couldn't figure out HOW to get the typed message TO whomever I wished to sent it. Sigh, such a techno-moron. So I put it off and totally forgot about texting until my phone made a double beep today - a sound I had never hear it do. Tickled pink that I figured out how to get TO the inbox or whatever, I was treated to the following message from my little cuddlebug James.
“Hey mom just seeing iif you knew how to text yet love you” (sic)
Awwww. How cute. ♥
I sent back,
( Well, actually, I can't FIND what I sent back, and after eight minutes of beeping and searching through my phone's menu options, I'm reasonably convinced my historical first ever outgoing text message is GONE ! )
He shot back the following in rapid succession:
“Took you long enough”
“LOL”
“Haha en minutes later” (sic) (I think he meant ten minutes.)
Oh sure ! HE's not compelled to proofread, or punctuate, and he doesn't have to go blurrily searching for reading glasses. (Or first find the other glasses so I can find the reading glasses.) And he has a nice souped-up QWERTY keyboard instead of that patience-teaching 2ABC, 3DEF crap.
Conclusion 1: Michael Jackson was wrong. (Yeah, like I would ever respect him for advice in the first place, right ?) That ABC, 123 business is not “as simple as Do Re Mi”. And I have a hard-earned BA to prove it.
Conclusion 2: I'm rather sure I'm going to hate this texting bizness. It's not all that fun to have glaring black and white evidence that one of my children is an almost illiterate moron, and even less pleasurable to keep giving him evidence that his mother is a total imbecile with technology, albeit a good-spelling imbecile.
Conclusion 3: I'd better go hit a thesaurus tonight and find a bunch of SMALL words to replace the intelligent vocabulary it has taken me a friend-losing lifetime to amass to this point. This 7PQRS, 9WXYZ crap is really annoying ! And I refuse to text him and ask him for standard text abbreviations, not because I don't want him to think me stupid, but simply because typing “standard text abbreviations” is going to take ten flippin' minutes !!!