Hot Mess
Hot Mess
“She's a hot mess.”, they say these days.
I'm confused. Help me out here. Which is worse anyway, a hot mess or a cold mess? Who decided to heat the mess? We were good with just the standard mess-age for hundreds of years, then someone decides to heat up the mess. Is this an improvement or a step back? No one sends me these memos !
How DO you heat the mess? If you're in a hurry, can you microwave it? Must it be a slow boil? If she's a big girl, does she need a double boiler? Can you overcook a mess? I'm scared to start messing about with it, because I burn everything. I have even burned WATER !
Is it even worse to be a burnt mess? Are we even allowing for that these days, or am I ahead of my time, in the Mess-iness Continuum?
Can you be a “hot mess” and have gotten “the shaft” at the same time? Are we allowed to combine these two slang terms? Would that then make you a Rotisseried Mess, or if not so classy, then just a Mess Kabob? And if your outfit is Rennie, I guess you're a Mess on a Stick, because “on a stick” is everything they serve at their festivals, unless you want to be a hot mess in a bread bowl.
Or if the term “hot mess” doesn't allude to food, since it's usually applied to clothing choices....and given that the concurrent slang usage of “hot” is supposed to be a good thing, meaning “sexy” and incites lust, is it really the worst thing to be a Hot Mess anyway? Was I wrong in supposing that the hotter the mess, the worse the outfit?
Or are they just saying her clothing choice is unfortunate, and they'd really like her to take the outfit off ? Slowwwwly.....
“She's a hot mess.”, they say these days.
I'm confused. Help me out here. Which is worse anyway, a hot mess or a cold mess? Who decided to heat the mess? We were good with just the standard mess-age for hundreds of years, then someone decides to heat up the mess. Is this an improvement or a step back? No one sends me these memos !
How DO you heat the mess? If you're in a hurry, can you microwave it? Must it be a slow boil? If she's a big girl, does she need a double boiler? Can you overcook a mess? I'm scared to start messing about with it, because I burn everything. I have even burned WATER !
Is it even worse to be a burnt mess? Are we even allowing for that these days, or am I ahead of my time, in the Mess-iness Continuum?
Can you be a “hot mess” and have gotten “the shaft” at the same time? Are we allowed to combine these two slang terms? Would that then make you a Rotisseried Mess, or if not so classy, then just a Mess Kabob? And if your outfit is Rennie, I guess you're a Mess on a Stick, because “on a stick” is everything they serve at their festivals, unless you want to be a hot mess in a bread bowl.
Or if the term “hot mess” doesn't allude to food, since it's usually applied to clothing choices....and given that the concurrent slang usage of “hot” is supposed to be a good thing, meaning “sexy” and incites lust, is it really the worst thing to be a Hot Mess anyway? Was I wrong in supposing that the hotter the mess, the worse the outfit?
Or are they just saying her clothing choice is unfortunate, and they'd really like her to take the outfit off ? Slowwwwly.....