A Driving Note - (H.I.M.)
A Driving Note:
Saw a white trailer today with big black letters that said H.I.M. Catching my eye quickly as I drove past (WHO him?), I saw some logo/picture I didn’t catch, but the words “Hogs In Ministry”. Took me almost a quarter mile to figure this one out. I knew it couldn’t be my first thought - “Swine for Salvation”? “Pigs for Paradise”!?? What’s their slogan? “Pork, the Right Meet”? What, they transport a herd of them around town and get them to throw themselves off a cliff? Seems a rather non-recyclable resource…. Unless they’re linked up with those “swine” on the stock exchange/Wall Street, and their Pork Belly Futures. Eternal futures, of course!
Obviously a New Testament group. Quite un-kosher. “Ham Hocks for Heaven” anyone? Angel Food cake for dessert, naturally.
Hey, if that’s the only cake they have Up There, I’m not stayin’. That stuff’s vile. You know Satan got the best of the deal on that one. It went like this:
“So I only get to choose one Third of the heavenly host when I leave? Fine. Then I get first choice on the desserts. I pick the rich chocolate one. You can have that sticky, spongy stuff. Go ahead and try and sell them on its healthy merits. Good luck with that. They won’t buy it. You’ll have enough "almighty" trouble on Your hands trying to get them to keep Kosher. I predict after a few thousand years they’ll want to turn water into wine and go Chinese on Christmas Day and New Year’s. Didn’t you learn from that manna debacle? Adding a fake sugar taste to it and softening it up isn’t going to fool anyone. I'll bet they’ll even complain about a little weekly wafer getting stuck to the roofs of their mouths.”
(Speaking of manna - If you’ve ever wondered about the origin of the Five Second Rule for food fallen on the ground, there you have it.)