today fucking SUCKED!!!
today sucked in a major way...so heres a detailed description of what its like to be me on a crappy day retold by megs...
"If today had to be a number it would be number suck, cus there is just no way I could degrade a number by associating it with the hellish adventures of today. So "today" began sometime last night, when after the scorpian invasion of my apartment I have been forced out and have to stay with loving sympathetic people while this little fucker of an insect, we'll call him Frank for shits and giggles, enjoys his own apartment, not cool. So while fucking Frank is enjoying his giant ass apartment Megan here is kicking it at Maren's invading her personal domain and attempting to study which really consisted off us attempting to work out in her free gym. Gym adventure begins with innocent Meg and Mar grabbing some water our flip flops for after gym swim and heading over ready to impress ourselves at our awesome abilities and fitness. So we walk in and look around completely baffeled at what to start with and where to begin this workout program. So we decide to forgo stretching, well not decide more like a very old man in a knee brace and a pot belly walks in takes his shirt off and hops on the tred mill at a very unreasonable incline. So we think shit shit man, lets start. So we hop on and do a good 10 minutes on each machine and decide after a few weights that we are done. So we glance over at mr knee brace and both instantly feel a little more shitty for our sorry asses not being able to outlast an old kneebrace wearing potbelly sporting fart and head to the pool. About an hour and a half later, we get kicked out of the pool by Mr. Asian man who had to tell us about 6 times since we couldnt understand him. As we are exiting the pool we realize Mr. Fart kneebrace man is STILL in the flippin gym and upon glancing through the gym window find he is STILL at an awesomely high incline RUNNING, runnnnnnnnnning uphill...shame strikes hard when you least expect it. So we set our goal to outlast mr. kneebrace next time and head home defeated. So again we think about doing our paper that is due and then instead decide to spend the next two hours talking about how Brad hates me, and Russ. Eventually 2 am rolls around and Megan again decides she is hungry, Megan is generally hungry no real surprise there. So Megan convinces Mar that it would be the coolest thing on earth to drive to fili b's and get some burros, even though it is 2 and I have to ork at 9, surprisingly a difficult task convincing. I was not prepared. So traveling and consequent consumption occurs and Mar and Meg fat and happy decide its time to go to bed and abandon the idea of working on our paper. So Megan sleeps on the floor while fucking Frank sprawls his vile little stinger and claspity little claws out and closes his beety little eyes and enjoys wherever the little shit is hiding and sleeps while Megan rolls around nearly killing herself by random objects on the floor. (PS I am again on the floor at Marens and she just said "Im naked" my response as I turn to look at her talking "what?")
So night insues and as morning breaks shitty day from hell begins. Beepity beeep beeepity beeeeep "Meganitsseeefffffeennnthriiiizzzzz" Maren as an alarm clock not that effiecent. So somehow in our unconsous state we decide Maren is closer to the phone thus she should call and tell our new "favorite" boss that we, we being megan as maren isnt working, arent going to come in until 11:00, so half asleep she calls and from the floor I hear "Hi chris this is megan, Im not coming in today cus (pause pause) cus Im not. bye" Shit I think, bad move, no more letting Maren be me. So eventually we pull ourselves out of our "beds" and again screw around more talking about God knows for God knows how long and I realize "Hey I already wrote a paper on this, I think its on my computer!" so we pull some clothes on and run to my house so I can brush my teeth, find some underwear as I jumped in the pool with my only pair I was wearing and thus had to sleep and wear jeans commando style, and try to look up my paper online. Operation retrieve paper and shit begins as such. Key goes in door pushed open Megan and Mar stand outside peering in and scanning vacinity for Frank. Frank is not seen. Small entrance made into livingroom quarters, underwear found in freshly washed basket on couch left in such place from scorpian inccident. Mission 1/3 of the way accomplished, we decide running to my room in manner of rapid walking, hopping over piles of things removed from closet to catch Frank, and diving into room is good idea. Find paper on computer score one for team. Printer fails and refuses to print said paper, team moves back two spaces. Teeth get brushed and kicking printer makes it print, re-score one and half for team. Printer prints in half asses manner, lose turn. Head to work, already 2.5 hours behind scheduled start time, minus half point, boss called in, plus point. Stefan offers to retype paper for megan, hell yes, score two. So by now we are four points up and feeling pretty sweet, shitty day has not completely gone to hell yet, just mild exhaustion and lateness. So Mar gets writers block and we have to talk out the paper to get it going, and she manages to pull off 2 pages for our 1:40 class, so we are happy. Again we start screwing around talking to Stefan and Jordy puff about whatnots, and I look down at the clock and "SHIT, MAREN CLASS STARTS IN 6 MINUTES!!!" So we fly upstairs zip to our class walk in late for the second day in a row and have to drag the only two chairs that dont have a desk to put shit on over to a table and hardcore invade our fellow students personal bubbles, they were not too thrilled. So we head back to work. Stefan lookin hella tired and Colbs looking like hes going to hurl makes Mar and I decide we are going to be good citizens so we tell Stefan to go ahead and head home and Colbs to go lay down in the back room, score one for us. Then, almost immediately after Erin calls about some fed up problem with this ass in cowden who Commons fucked up a reservation for and as usual blame us and tell us to fix it. So we speed over to commons like red lightening, well actually we were in the truck so we dont really speed we more like drive around the entire fucking campus to get to commons grab the dvd/vcr player and then back to cowden in manner of lunatic. Set up a cart really fast and head upstairs. Neither of us want to be the one who goes in first as that is always the one whose ass gets torn apart so we decide to open the door push the cart in and run. So we open the door push the cart in and shit no dice on the running Mr. Religion man asks us why we are late and where the cart is. Maren and I being the geniuses we are planned for this occasion and had decided that in this case he should be the stupid one and to tell him that he merely looked in the wrong place for the shit, so we execute this plan.Us- "Oh it was delivered to room 224" him- "Really thats where I looked" Us-(Insert identical oh shit blank stares) "Uhhhh, well uh, sometimes they (insert some bullshit excuse here)" minus two for the team. So he then decides to make us stay and make sure it works so we head to the back of the classroom while they have a class discussion about some sort of race/religion deal not even entertaining babble to amuse us while we plug things in and turn them on. So we get it all set up and the projector isnt projecting, "shit switch the rca cables" so we do no dice minus half. Maybe its the projector, so mar runs downstairs and grabs the spare, still broke, minus other half. So Megan sprints back to arch running down the flight of stairs three at a time and across the street in manner of bat out of hell and grabs a dvd player and sprints back up flight down hall and calmly walks into room face beet red from sprinting and now consiquently smelling like ass. We pull it all apart put it back together yeah! we see the dvd screen, point, shit dvd wont read, says no disc minus two points. So we decide that this situation can no longer be saved and that spending the last 30 minutes in the back of the room sweating like some poor underpaid worker was the end of this. So as he looks up sees we are done he says oh hey is it working now and we look at eachother and back at him and say "ya" so as we inch toward the door and hand him the remote and tell him all he has to do is push play and calmly walk out the door megan carrying the rejected dvd/vcr combo in hand and as soon as our shoes breath fresh hallway air take off full sprint down the hall and leap down the stairs taking as many at a time as we can. Now running with a dvd player without a case not cool. So we dive into the truck take off to wells fargo to pick up our last pick up the whole way still fearing him coming to ask us for more help and figuring that he must think we are rediculously incompetent and that he will probably request someone else and tell them that the dumbasses they sent before couldnt even find their asses if they needed too. We arrive at wells fargo only to find they blocked it off cus of some stupid game thing so we head back to arch and on the way we see this guy yell out the window asking what time it is since both of our cell phones are dead and he tells us 4:41, sweet we think only 20 min left. So we sit at the light and this blonde guy walks in front of us and Maren says "Hey that guys in my...SHIT! I have class right now!!!" minus 3 points. With this we just start laughing, feeling the need to cry as today had stripped us of all our points and is quickly sending us into the negative. So we get back David tells us he found hours at BYAC for us and that we can go work together so we decide that its probably safer if we stick together and skip class the rest of the way and not worry about it. So we head to byac and enjoy a nice little break until I had to go to class and sit through 2 hours of Irish Immigration informational video and then returned to find that we managed to lose so much shit including our minds and cant find vitally important materials that we could be tanned for. So we leave for home and decide that today has sucked so much that it can and probably will only will get worse so with this I say "hey lets jay walk" and we do, no death progress, so then we go through a dark abandoned parking lot and the one moving vehicle on the road decides that now is the time to come swerving around the corner into the lot and nearly take out mar and I, we decide fate is trying to kill us, "Today isnt going to better" I tell mar as we walk through the dark abandoned lot into the scary homeless infested alleyway. Cross a few more streets, more near death by collision with obsenly large vehicles ensue, and finally we reach the structure as the 5 other cars on the road decide they want to park in the structure and Mar nearly gets tagged again by an asian in a white car. So we decide that we arent going to go to the gym tonight because one of us will most likely fall off the machine break something then I will most likely have to drive us to the hospital and I have no gas so we would most likely run out and then we would both be broken and half to walk to the nearest gas station where we would hve inevitably have forgotten our debit cards and will be internally bleeding to death as we have to walk back to the car to get the cards and find that we have locked the damn keys in the car. Thus, we cross the gym off our list of things to do today. Too risky. We fail our workout goal on day two. Minus 2 points for failing and 3 for again not being able to out last Mr. Kneebrace. Today sucked."
well thats it. im never leaving my house again...but at least in the words of megan..."Hey! It's Tomorrow!"
"If today had to be a number it would be number suck, cus there is just no way I could degrade a number by associating it with the hellish adventures of today. So "today" began sometime last night, when after the scorpian invasion of my apartment I have been forced out and have to stay with loving sympathetic people while this little fucker of an insect, we'll call him Frank for shits and giggles, enjoys his own apartment, not cool. So while fucking Frank is enjoying his giant ass apartment Megan here is kicking it at Maren's invading her personal domain and attempting to study which really consisted off us attempting to work out in her free gym. Gym adventure begins with innocent Meg and Mar grabbing some water our flip flops for after gym swim and heading over ready to impress ourselves at our awesome abilities and fitness. So we walk in and look around completely baffeled at what to start with and where to begin this workout program. So we decide to forgo stretching, well not decide more like a very old man in a knee brace and a pot belly walks in takes his shirt off and hops on the tred mill at a very unreasonable incline. So we think shit shit man, lets start. So we hop on and do a good 10 minutes on each machine and decide after a few weights that we are done. So we glance over at mr knee brace and both instantly feel a little more shitty for our sorry asses not being able to outlast an old kneebrace wearing potbelly sporting fart and head to the pool. About an hour and a half later, we get kicked out of the pool by Mr. Asian man who had to tell us about 6 times since we couldnt understand him. As we are exiting the pool we realize Mr. Fart kneebrace man is STILL in the flippin gym and upon glancing through the gym window find he is STILL at an awesomely high incline RUNNING, runnnnnnnnnning uphill...shame strikes hard when you least expect it. So we set our goal to outlast mr. kneebrace next time and head home defeated. So again we think about doing our paper that is due and then instead decide to spend the next two hours talking about how Brad hates me, and Russ. Eventually 2 am rolls around and Megan again decides she is hungry, Megan is generally hungry no real surprise there. So Megan convinces Mar that it would be the coolest thing on earth to drive to fili b's and get some burros, even though it is 2 and I have to ork at 9, surprisingly a difficult task convincing. I was not prepared. So traveling and consequent consumption occurs and Mar and Meg fat and happy decide its time to go to bed and abandon the idea of working on our paper. So Megan sleeps on the floor while fucking Frank sprawls his vile little stinger and claspity little claws out and closes his beety little eyes and enjoys wherever the little shit is hiding and sleeps while Megan rolls around nearly killing herself by random objects on the floor. (PS I am again on the floor at Marens and she just said "Im naked" my response as I turn to look at her talking "what?")
So night insues and as morning breaks shitty day from hell begins. Beepity beeep beeepity beeeeep "Meganitsseeefffffeennnthriiiizzzzz" Maren as an alarm clock not that effiecent. So somehow in our unconsous state we decide Maren is closer to the phone thus she should call and tell our new "favorite" boss that we, we being megan as maren isnt working, arent going to come in until 11:00, so half asleep she calls and from the floor I hear "Hi chris this is megan, Im not coming in today cus (pause pause) cus Im not. bye" Shit I think, bad move, no more letting Maren be me. So eventually we pull ourselves out of our "beds" and again screw around more talking about God knows for God knows how long and I realize "Hey I already wrote a paper on this, I think its on my computer!" so we pull some clothes on and run to my house so I can brush my teeth, find some underwear as I jumped in the pool with my only pair I was wearing and thus had to sleep and wear jeans commando style, and try to look up my paper online. Operation retrieve paper and shit begins as such. Key goes in door pushed open Megan and Mar stand outside peering in and scanning vacinity for Frank. Frank is not seen. Small entrance made into livingroom quarters, underwear found in freshly washed basket on couch left in such place from scorpian inccident. Mission 1/3 of the way accomplished, we decide running to my room in manner of rapid walking, hopping over piles of things removed from closet to catch Frank, and diving into room is good idea. Find paper on computer score one for team. Printer fails and refuses to print said paper, team moves back two spaces. Teeth get brushed and kicking printer makes it print, re-score one and half for team. Printer prints in half asses manner, lose turn. Head to work, already 2.5 hours behind scheduled start time, minus half point, boss called in, plus point. Stefan offers to retype paper for megan, hell yes, score two. So by now we are four points up and feeling pretty sweet, shitty day has not completely gone to hell yet, just mild exhaustion and lateness. So Mar gets writers block and we have to talk out the paper to get it going, and she manages to pull off 2 pages for our 1:40 class, so we are happy. Again we start screwing around talking to Stefan and Jordy puff about whatnots, and I look down at the clock and "SHIT, MAREN CLASS STARTS IN 6 MINUTES!!!" So we fly upstairs zip to our class walk in late for the second day in a row and have to drag the only two chairs that dont have a desk to put shit on over to a table and hardcore invade our fellow students personal bubbles, they were not too thrilled. So we head back to work. Stefan lookin hella tired and Colbs looking like hes going to hurl makes Mar and I decide we are going to be good citizens so we tell Stefan to go ahead and head home and Colbs to go lay down in the back room, score one for us. Then, almost immediately after Erin calls about some fed up problem with this ass in cowden who Commons fucked up a reservation for and as usual blame us and tell us to fix it. So we speed over to commons like red lightening, well actually we were in the truck so we dont really speed we more like drive around the entire fucking campus to get to commons grab the dvd/vcr player and then back to cowden in manner of lunatic. Set up a cart really fast and head upstairs. Neither of us want to be the one who goes in first as that is always the one whose ass gets torn apart so we decide to open the door push the cart in and run. So we open the door push the cart in and shit no dice on the running Mr. Religion man asks us why we are late and where the cart is. Maren and I being the geniuses we are planned for this occasion and had decided that in this case he should be the stupid one and to tell him that he merely looked in the wrong place for the shit, so we execute this plan.Us- "Oh it was delivered to room 224" him- "Really thats where I looked" Us-(Insert identical oh shit blank stares) "Uhhhh, well uh, sometimes they (insert some bullshit excuse here)" minus two for the team. So he then decides to make us stay and make sure it works so we head to the back of the classroom while they have a class discussion about some sort of race/religion deal not even entertaining babble to amuse us while we plug things in and turn them on. So we get it all set up and the projector isnt projecting, "shit switch the rca cables" so we do no dice minus half. Maybe its the projector, so mar runs downstairs and grabs the spare, still broke, minus other half. So Megan sprints back to arch running down the flight of stairs three at a time and across the street in manner of bat out of hell and grabs a dvd player and sprints back up flight down hall and calmly walks into room face beet red from sprinting and now consiquently smelling like ass. We pull it all apart put it back together yeah! we see the dvd screen, point, shit dvd wont read, says no disc minus two points. So we decide that this situation can no longer be saved and that spending the last 30 minutes in the back of the room sweating like some poor underpaid worker was the end of this. So as he looks up sees we are done he says oh hey is it working now and we look at eachother and back at him and say "ya" so as we inch toward the door and hand him the remote and tell him all he has to do is push play and calmly walk out the door megan carrying the rejected dvd/vcr combo in hand and as soon as our shoes breath fresh hallway air take off full sprint down the hall and leap down the stairs taking as many at a time as we can. Now running with a dvd player without a case not cool. So we dive into the truck take off to wells fargo to pick up our last pick up the whole way still fearing him coming to ask us for more help and figuring that he must think we are rediculously incompetent and that he will probably request someone else and tell them that the dumbasses they sent before couldnt even find their asses if they needed too. We arrive at wells fargo only to find they blocked it off cus of some stupid game thing so we head back to arch and on the way we see this guy yell out the window asking what time it is since both of our cell phones are dead and he tells us 4:41, sweet we think only 20 min left. So we sit at the light and this blonde guy walks in front of us and Maren says "Hey that guys in my...SHIT! I have class right now!!!" minus 3 points. With this we just start laughing, feeling the need to cry as today had stripped us of all our points and is quickly sending us into the negative. So we get back David tells us he found hours at BYAC for us and that we can go work together so we decide that its probably safer if we stick together and skip class the rest of the way and not worry about it. So we head to byac and enjoy a nice little break until I had to go to class and sit through 2 hours of Irish Immigration informational video and then returned to find that we managed to lose so much shit including our minds and cant find vitally important materials that we could be tanned for. So we leave for home and decide that today has sucked so much that it can and probably will only will get worse so with this I say "hey lets jay walk" and we do, no death progress, so then we go through a dark abandoned parking lot and the one moving vehicle on the road decides that now is the time to come swerving around the corner into the lot and nearly take out mar and I, we decide fate is trying to kill us, "Today isnt going to better" I tell mar as we walk through the dark abandoned lot into the scary homeless infested alleyway. Cross a few more streets, more near death by collision with obsenly large vehicles ensue, and finally we reach the structure as the 5 other cars on the road decide they want to park in the structure and Mar nearly gets tagged again by an asian in a white car. So we decide that we arent going to go to the gym tonight because one of us will most likely fall off the machine break something then I will most likely have to drive us to the hospital and I have no gas so we would most likely run out and then we would both be broken and half to walk to the nearest gas station where we would hve inevitably have forgotten our debit cards and will be internally bleeding to death as we have to walk back to the car to get the cards and find that we have locked the damn keys in the car. Thus, we cross the gym off our list of things to do today. Too risky. We fail our workout goal on day two. Minus 2 points for failing and 3 for again not being able to out last Mr. Kneebrace. Today sucked."
well thats it. im never leaving my house again...but at least in the words of megan..."Hey! It's Tomorrow!"