How did June sneak up on me like this?
I just stopped flinching every time I have to write 2010. And yet here June is with her pretty flowers, sunny days, lovely thunder storms and bountiful drainage tubes sticking out of my belly.
A little over a week ago I parted ways with my abdominal mass, all 15 x 15 x 7 cm(^3) of it. Putting me back together again got a little dicey but my surgeon had the foresight to call in an oncologist and a plastic surgeon and they got me all meshed up and sewn (and glued!) back together. I have a pretty impressive 24 cm horizontal scar at former belly-button height. It will be a while before I can recognize it as part of my body, even after I get rid of the drainage tubes.
I'm not sure what happens next. Medically, there's been talk of medication or radiation therapies to try to prevent a recurrence but I can't find any convincing research on either treatment. Non-medically? I'm nowhere near figuring that out yet. A part of me was hoping that this last surgery would act as a book-end separating some of the ground I've lost since that first surgery from the rest of my life. Letting me regroup (and watch my SPN!) and try to my hand at the living deliberately thing. But it's 3:30 in the morning again and I can't sleep. I thought I was done with my old coursework but got an email yesterday saying I still owed one last paper.
June, she'll change her tune.
Some things have changed. As usual, they're the bits where I've let other people into my life. I need to concentrate on those bits. I also need to take my next dose of painkillers.
A little over a week ago I parted ways with my abdominal mass, all 15 x 15 x 7 cm(^3) of it. Putting me back together again got a little dicey but my surgeon had the foresight to call in an oncologist and a plastic surgeon and they got me all meshed up and sewn (and glued!) back together. I have a pretty impressive 24 cm horizontal scar at former belly-button height. It will be a while before I can recognize it as part of my body, even after I get rid of the drainage tubes.
I'm not sure what happens next. Medically, there's been talk of medication or radiation therapies to try to prevent a recurrence but I can't find any convincing research on either treatment. Non-medically? I'm nowhere near figuring that out yet. A part of me was hoping that this last surgery would act as a book-end separating some of the ground I've lost since that first surgery from the rest of my life. Letting me regroup (and watch my SPN!) and try to my hand at the living deliberately thing. But it's 3:30 in the morning again and I can't sleep. I thought I was done with my old coursework but got an email yesterday saying I still owed one last paper.
June, she'll change her tune.
Some things have changed. As usual, they're the bits where I've let other people into my life. I need to concentrate on those bits. I also need to take my next dose of painkillers.