"Abuse: The intentional and malicious causing of physical and/or emotional harm or pain to another when such treatment is not justified or warranted
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I guess because in my experience, the need to elaborate on specific instances of said occurances, only arises when idiots try to find loop holes. I say idiots because anyone smart enough to argue it, is smart enough to really know right from wrong.
The first definition encompasses the second one, without having to say it.
As far as taking advantage turning into abuse...I guess it would depend on how they stated they'd had enough. You can't just decide enough is enough and it becomes abuse. You have to firmly and with no doubt explain why it's hurting you and accept responsibility for the past. People learn how to treat you from the things you let them do, even if they're treating you poorly. (I'd say this applies like 97% percent of the time...pedophiles excluded) When you allow someone to treat you in a certain way, they learn that it's okay with you to do that. When you've had enough, you have to teach them how you expect to be treated from there on out. If they can't accept that, then you have to let them go (or perhaps drive them out)
"You can't just decide enough is enough and it becomes abuse."
This statement has been very thought provoking for me and elicits exploration of what an "enabler" is. Can someone "enable" someone else in their abuse? Even if it's the enabler that's getting "abused?" Or is this counterintuitive or even an oxymoron?
And if there is such a thing, how does an enabler stop the cycle? And at which point have they stopped being part of it themselves? If someone was enabling someone else do they have a right to be mad when they say "enough is enough" and the abuser doesn't agree?
Your post has been very interesting and I thank you for feedback. Keep it coming as long as possible.
Can someone "enable" someone else in their abuse? Even if it's the enabler that's getting "abused?" Yes. I have seen many people fall into this cycle. By allowing someone to abuse them, they can then complain about it to others, garnering more attention. Children seek negative attention in school all the time. This in a way could be viewed in a similar manner. Some kids allow others to bully them, so they can spend more time in the counselor's office, or to get parents to take their side. This is a learned behavior.
If someone was enabling someone else do they have a right to be mad when they say "enough is enough" and the abuser doesn't agree?
I think the important key to ending the cycle is again education. Educate the abuer on how you expect to be treated. Stop the behavior and then set up new expectations. Depending on the kind of abuse you're talking about, your reaction might be anger, or disappointment. You can't force someone to learn new ways. That's the letting go part.
The first definition encompasses the second one, without having to say it.
As far as taking advantage turning into abuse...I guess it would depend on how they stated they'd had enough. You can't just decide enough is enough and it becomes abuse. You have to firmly and with no doubt explain why it's hurting you and accept responsibility for the past. People learn how to treat you from the things you let them do, even if they're treating you poorly. (I'd say this applies like 97% percent of the time...pedophiles excluded) When you allow someone to treat you in a certain way, they learn that it's okay with you to do that. When you've had enough, you have to teach them how you expect to be treated from there on out. If they can't accept that, then you have to let them go (or perhaps drive them out)
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This statement has been very thought provoking for me and elicits exploration of what an "enabler" is. Can someone "enable" someone else in their abuse? Even if it's the enabler that's getting "abused?" Or is this counterintuitive or even an oxymoron?
And if there is such a thing, how does an enabler stop the cycle? And at which point have they stopped being part of it themselves? If someone was enabling someone else do they have a right to be mad when they say "enough is enough" and the abuser doesn't agree?
Your post has been very interesting and I thank you for feedback. Keep it coming as long as possible.
Reply
Can someone "enable" someone else in their abuse? Even if it's the enabler that's getting "abused?"
Yes. I have seen many people fall into this cycle. By allowing someone to abuse them, they can then complain about it to others, garnering more attention. Children seek negative attention in school all the time. This in a way could be viewed in a similar manner. Some kids allow others to bully them, so they can spend more time in the counselor's office, or to get parents to take their side. This is a learned behavior.
If someone was enabling someone else do they have a right to be mad when they say "enough is enough" and the abuser doesn't agree?
I think the important key to ending the cycle is again education. Educate the abuer on how you expect to be treated. Stop the behavior and then set up new expectations. Depending on the kind of abuse you're talking about, your reaction might be anger, or disappointment. You can't force someone to learn new ways. That's the letting go part.
Reply
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