Eurovision 2017, Semifinals 1!
Time for my annual dusting off of the livejournal! IT'S EUROVISION
Wow, so this is late for a couple of reasons. Work/life balance with the BF means that I didn't attempt to watch the first semis until Wednesday, but then I learned the US was completely geoblocked. I had to wait until a piratey television streaming aggregate site posted Semis 1. Hopefully Semis 2 will be up by tomorrow.
Now, while I intermittently have blogged the finals, I will not be doing that this year because I will be watching them live at my BF's and it's bad enough that I make him watch Drag Race every week and I'm forcing him to watch Eurovision, I'm not going to ignore him and blog while I do it.
For the first time, I am getting to watch a UK stream...I have always watched the official Eurovision.tv feed so this is interesting. I see what everyone has always said about the hosts taking the piss out of the contest.
The show opens with a Ukrainian hiphop star who sounds very derivative, but is probably better than 3/4ths of the entries. Also, I have learned that I have been spelling Kyiv wrong all these years. Why have we been spelling it Kiev? Why the hell can't the British vote via text? Why are they warning before every song that there are flashing light effects...it's fucking Eurovision, just warn before the show starts?
Anyway, like always, I'll have the songs numbered with the order they were shown, I'll sort them in the order of my personal preference, and I'll bold the entries that went through.
12 - Moldova - Sunstroke Project is back...EPIC SAX GUY. It's actually a catchy little song and I still think their violin player is underrated. But of course, there's lots of sax and I like it. Got some cute dance moves. Moldova always delivers. Hopefully we'll get Zdub si Zdub next year!
08 - Azerbaijan - Actual setpiece with blackboards, ladder, and a dude in a horse mask. The song's a bit uptempo and has an interesting melody. I like this a hell of a lot better than everything so far song wise, though I'm having a bit of a problem with how it's mixed. Azerbaijan has been stepping their game up the last couple years, though. Which is ironic, because they won with boring shit.
06 - Montenegro - Come on, let this be on astronaut levels! METEOR IS COMING. Well, he's wearing a mesh top and a big blue skirt, costuming is looking up. This is very disco boogie once the tempo picks up. The singer imagery is more hilarious once he lies on the floor on top of a giant image of himself. God, if he didn't totally suck at singing, this would be a no-brainer for my favorite so far, but now I'm debating.
15 - Cyprus - It's great when the night's been so awful that with a beat and a tempo and walking on a line puts an act in my top five automatically. Now, let's be fair. The song is actually good. It's unfortunate it's not in the hands of a better singer. But the staging and the backup dancers are also interesting!
01 - Sweden - Perhaps a strong opener for once? Interstitial features this guy dancing on the periodic table. Huh, I think this guy is doing a JT impersonation with his act. He looks like he was created in a Hemsworth cloning lab. And they're dancing on treadmills! All in all, quite bland song, sung very well for Eurovision, and interesting stage show. Apparently, Sweden wants to host alternate years now.
16 - Armenia - Another case of starting below the singer's range. A bit of a beat, I like the instrumentals and the backing dancers are interesting. The fire geysers have kicked back up and this is the first act that seems like the flashing lights could actually cause someone issue, but the efect looked really cool. In a sea of ballads, this is decent.
13 - Iceland - Giant cleavage tattoo. Well it has a beat at least. What are those platform sneakers? Am I in high school again? I owned those. This is still a bit boring, but less boring than most of the ballads.
03 - Australia - Are they still so excited to participate that they are still sending real music? This is their latest X-Factor winner, apparently. I was bored with the stage show, then GIANT IMAGES OF THE SINGER APPEARED ONSCREEN BEHIND HIM. IN SPACE. WITH ZOOM AND FILTERS. OMG. The song? Oh, well it's a bit boring, poppy, one of those things that has too many dumb runs to be a proper ballad. And he went so off during a bridgey keychange run...but I can forgive that for the hilarious screen imagery.
04 - Albania - Dramatic piano and fog, plus shaky notes for the opener. She's wearing a figure skating leotard with a gauze skirt and a wedding veil. I cannot tell what language she was singing in the first verse. But she can belt a fair bit. Now the screen images are pretty trippy, but the rest of the stage show was boring.
18 - Latvia - What is this staging. What are these outfits? I am distracted by her hair extensions too. Okay, I don't think she can sing great. She's very nasal. But part of this song wasn't slow! It wasn't just one person on stage in a boring outfit! That counts for a lot right now!
10 - Greece - Yep, started too low. She's overhighlighted, too. But they did pick up the beat and she rose on a little platform. And now half-naked men are dancing in a couple inches of water! Not sure if the dancing men are Russia trolling or not.
09 - Portugal - He's on a popup in the audience, singing a jazzy musical-esque number in Portuguese. It's slow as shit but still more interesting than most of the ballads, especially YOU FUCKING FINLAND
02 - Georgia - The song is Keep the Faith, but cannot best Bon Jovi's Keep the Faith because that's one of the best songs. HELLO FOG MACHINE, IT'S BEEN A LONG YEAR WITHOUT YOU. It's boring so far, but her gown is not. Song's kinda Bond-y, and the singer doesn't suck. So it's a mediocre ballad for real music, but quite good for Eurovision. HELLO FIRE GEYSERS
14 - Czech Republic - She's wearing a lame jumpsuit and singing in front of a dove commercial. Now...here's the weird thing about the song. It's not bad...but it sounds like a slowed down version of a better song. It needs to be sped up. Like the whole song is just that little slowed down bit that builds up before the final chorus. SIGH
11 - Poland - Violinist on stage and cleavage. Lyrics by someone with an English rhyming dictionary. Singer doesn't have much dynamics, it's just loud. I would have liked this better if it had just been Ellie Goulding's Flashlight, though I don't think that would have actually been eligible. :P
07 - Finland - The hipsterest. Hmm...fog and a piano and singing like Adele. YAWN. The only interesting thing that happened was the fog coming OUT of the piano. She sang well, but it wasn't a song that took a lot of skill to sing.
05 - Belgium - ...what. This is utterly boring. The vocals are monotone. Then she jumps up an octave and it's awfully shaky. As for presentation, she stood there in a black dress while some lights flashed, basically. The BBC commentators called her a favorite before she started and...god, I hope not.
17 - Slovenia - Opens with a drop fakeout, makes me sad because it's another fucking ballad...over movie soundtrack orchestral instruments. It's like a credits song. He's not even singing bad in a charming way, he's just off key. In fact, I literally could not tell how many legitimate key changes were in this song. One? Two? I don't think he changed key once!
Interstitial Act:
Jamala sings last year's winning song, later comes out with a new song that is better than that one by a lot...and better than everybody in the semis except maybe Moldova. Weirdest part is that this song confirms that all the weird discordant shit she sings in 1944 is, for better or worse, on purpose.
Final Thoughts:
I can't complain too much when they literally read my top two picks the first two. And Armenia and Cyprus really deserved it. But I am so sad Montenegro braid guy is gone. Montenegro has been up there with Moldova for entertainment lately.
Goons and I were both very glad that Finland and Slovenia didn't make it through. Maybe someday no one will send utterly bland bullshit.
I am not here for Belgium, I just don't get it. Oh well. Hopefully I can get through Semis 2 tomorrow, but that totally depends on whether or not I can watch it. :/ Someone linked to the Swedish stream which has video available so tomorrow night Semis 2 is go! I'd have known I could watch this last night if I'd braved the entire thread's live reactions to everything...my spoiler avoidance...
Wow, so this is late for a couple of reasons. Work/life balance with the BF means that I didn't attempt to watch the first semis until Wednesday, but then I learned the US was completely geoblocked. I had to wait until a piratey television streaming aggregate site posted Semis 1. Hopefully Semis 2 will be up by tomorrow.
Now, while I intermittently have blogged the finals, I will not be doing that this year because I will be watching them live at my BF's and it's bad enough that I make him watch Drag Race every week and I'm forcing him to watch Eurovision, I'm not going to ignore him and blog while I do it.
For the first time, I am getting to watch a UK stream...I have always watched the official Eurovision.tv feed so this is interesting. I see what everyone has always said about the hosts taking the piss out of the contest.
The show opens with a Ukrainian hiphop star who sounds very derivative, but is probably better than 3/4ths of the entries. Also, I have learned that I have been spelling Kyiv wrong all these years. Why have we been spelling it Kiev? Why the hell can't the British vote via text? Why are they warning before every song that there are flashing light effects...it's fucking Eurovision, just warn before the show starts?
Anyway, like always, I'll have the songs numbered with the order they were shown, I'll sort them in the order of my personal preference, and I'll bold the entries that went through.
12 - Moldova - Sunstroke Project is back...EPIC SAX GUY. It's actually a catchy little song and I still think their violin player is underrated. But of course, there's lots of sax and I like it. Got some cute dance moves. Moldova always delivers. Hopefully we'll get Zdub si Zdub next year!
08 - Azerbaijan - Actual setpiece with blackboards, ladder, and a dude in a horse mask. The song's a bit uptempo and has an interesting melody. I like this a hell of a lot better than everything so far song wise, though I'm having a bit of a problem with how it's mixed. Azerbaijan has been stepping their game up the last couple years, though. Which is ironic, because they won with boring shit.
06 - Montenegro - Come on, let this be on astronaut levels! METEOR IS COMING. Well, he's wearing a mesh top and a big blue skirt, costuming is looking up. This is very disco boogie once the tempo picks up. The singer imagery is more hilarious once he lies on the floor on top of a giant image of himself. God, if he didn't totally suck at singing, this would be a no-brainer for my favorite so far, but now I'm debating.
15 - Cyprus - It's great when the night's been so awful that with a beat and a tempo and walking on a line puts an act in my top five automatically. Now, let's be fair. The song is actually good. It's unfortunate it's not in the hands of a better singer. But the staging and the backup dancers are also interesting!
01 - Sweden - Perhaps a strong opener for once? Interstitial features this guy dancing on the periodic table. Huh, I think this guy is doing a JT impersonation with his act. He looks like he was created in a Hemsworth cloning lab. And they're dancing on treadmills! All in all, quite bland song, sung very well for Eurovision, and interesting stage show. Apparently, Sweden wants to host alternate years now.
16 - Armenia - Another case of starting below the singer's range. A bit of a beat, I like the instrumentals and the backing dancers are interesting. The fire geysers have kicked back up and this is the first act that seems like the flashing lights could actually cause someone issue, but the efect looked really cool. In a sea of ballads, this is decent.
13 - Iceland - Giant cleavage tattoo. Well it has a beat at least. What are those platform sneakers? Am I in high school again? I owned those. This is still a bit boring, but less boring than most of the ballads.
03 - Australia - Are they still so excited to participate that they are still sending real music? This is their latest X-Factor winner, apparently. I was bored with the stage show, then GIANT IMAGES OF THE SINGER APPEARED ONSCREEN BEHIND HIM. IN SPACE. WITH ZOOM AND FILTERS. OMG. The song? Oh, well it's a bit boring, poppy, one of those things that has too many dumb runs to be a proper ballad. And he went so off during a bridgey keychange run...but I can forgive that for the hilarious screen imagery.
04 - Albania - Dramatic piano and fog, plus shaky notes for the opener. She's wearing a figure skating leotard with a gauze skirt and a wedding veil. I cannot tell what language she was singing in the first verse. But she can belt a fair bit. Now the screen images are pretty trippy, but the rest of the stage show was boring.
18 - Latvia - What is this staging. What are these outfits? I am distracted by her hair extensions too. Okay, I don't think she can sing great. She's very nasal. But part of this song wasn't slow! It wasn't just one person on stage in a boring outfit! That counts for a lot right now!
10 - Greece - Yep, started too low. She's overhighlighted, too. But they did pick up the beat and she rose on a little platform. And now half-naked men are dancing in a couple inches of water! Not sure if the dancing men are Russia trolling or not.
09 - Portugal - He's on a popup in the audience, singing a jazzy musical-esque number in Portuguese. It's slow as shit but still more interesting than most of the ballads, especially YOU FUCKING FINLAND
02 - Georgia - The song is Keep the Faith, but cannot best Bon Jovi's Keep the Faith because that's one of the best songs. HELLO FOG MACHINE, IT'S BEEN A LONG YEAR WITHOUT YOU. It's boring so far, but her gown is not. Song's kinda Bond-y, and the singer doesn't suck. So it's a mediocre ballad for real music, but quite good for Eurovision. HELLO FIRE GEYSERS
14 - Czech Republic - She's wearing a lame jumpsuit and singing in front of a dove commercial. Now...here's the weird thing about the song. It's not bad...but it sounds like a slowed down version of a better song. It needs to be sped up. Like the whole song is just that little slowed down bit that builds up before the final chorus. SIGH
11 - Poland - Violinist on stage and cleavage. Lyrics by someone with an English rhyming dictionary. Singer doesn't have much dynamics, it's just loud. I would have liked this better if it had just been Ellie Goulding's Flashlight, though I don't think that would have actually been eligible. :P
07 - Finland - The hipsterest. Hmm...fog and a piano and singing like Adele. YAWN. The only interesting thing that happened was the fog coming OUT of the piano. She sang well, but it wasn't a song that took a lot of skill to sing.
05 - Belgium - ...what. This is utterly boring. The vocals are monotone. Then she jumps up an octave and it's awfully shaky. As for presentation, she stood there in a black dress while some lights flashed, basically. The BBC commentators called her a favorite before she started and...god, I hope not.
17 - Slovenia - Opens with a drop fakeout, makes me sad because it's another fucking ballad...over movie soundtrack orchestral instruments. It's like a credits song. He's not even singing bad in a charming way, he's just off key. In fact, I literally could not tell how many legitimate key changes were in this song. One? Two? I don't think he changed key once!
Interstitial Act:
Jamala sings last year's winning song, later comes out with a new song that is better than that one by a lot...and better than everybody in the semis except maybe Moldova. Weirdest part is that this song confirms that all the weird discordant shit she sings in 1944 is, for better or worse, on purpose.
Final Thoughts:
I can't complain too much when they literally read my top two picks the first two. And Armenia and Cyprus really deserved it. But I am so sad Montenegro braid guy is gone. Montenegro has been up there with Moldova for entertainment lately.
Goons and I were both very glad that Finland and Slovenia didn't make it through. Maybe someday no one will send utterly bland bullshit.
I am not here for Belgium, I just don't get it. Oh well. Hopefully I can get through Semis 2 tomorrow, but that totally depends on whether or not I can watch it. :/ Someone linked to the Swedish stream which has video available so tomorrow night Semis 2 is go! I'd have known I could watch this last night if I'd braved the entire thread's live reactions to everything...my spoiler avoidance...