Intention, heart, growth
I've been thinking about intention recently. And I remembered this post from way back in... 2009. The intentions I set for myself at the time were these:
"1. I would like someday to have my own little piece of ground. I would like that ground to sustain me for the rest of my life. I would like that ground to become a home that brings me joy.
"2. I would like a community of friends and family near me and my little piece of ground. A community to support me, help me build, and share in my joy.
"3. I would like a someone to share in my life with me, to love and be loved. Someone to be sustained by me and my little piece of ground. To be a part of my community and share in my joy."
I'd like to update my intention.
I am a different person now and relate to the world and the people in it differently. The most obvious thing to change is that I've expanded my definition of love. First, by being poly (so 3. should read 'someones' and not 'a someone'), and second, by allowing that expanded vision of love to include all of my interpersonal relationships. So 2. and 3. are the same goal.
Actually, they are all three the same goal: to build a home. To find a place and a community where I am comfortable and safe, physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. Where my heart can live, and fill, and expand, and sometimes overflow.
(I'm working on the tattoo representation, but I have to do a ton more studies of sweet potatoes.)
I'm not there yet, but I'm still on that path and it feels good. I love Philadelphia and there are people here who I love and who love me. I've been underground for a little while, but I'm rebuilding my social life. Strengthening connections and building new ones. I'm on the market for a little house for me and a friend to share (and his cat). Preferably with some ground attached. I want my house to be a warm, inviting, open, and loving home for the three of us. And I want all the other parts of my life to run through it, too.
I think I'm far enough along to set a new intention:
2. Find a way to make enough money to live on that supports me in my life goals.
If I can make the current job work, I will, but at the moment it is wearing me down. I have been fatigued and intermittently sick for about a year now. I feel loyal, but clearly it's not supporting my physical and emotional health.
But this is a very big question and, for now, the house comes first. (Because the current job is providing the financial stability to vouch for the loan that will pay for the house and because a lot of things are changing at work and it could become good again.)
Thank you to all who have been a part of my journey. I love you.
"1. I would like someday to have my own little piece of ground. I would like that ground to sustain me for the rest of my life. I would like that ground to become a home that brings me joy.
"2. I would like a community of friends and family near me and my little piece of ground. A community to support me, help me build, and share in my joy.
"3. I would like a someone to share in my life with me, to love and be loved. Someone to be sustained by me and my little piece of ground. To be a part of my community and share in my joy."
I'd like to update my intention.
I am a different person now and relate to the world and the people in it differently. The most obvious thing to change is that I've expanded my definition of love. First, by being poly (so 3. should read 'someones' and not 'a someone'), and second, by allowing that expanded vision of love to include all of my interpersonal relationships. So 2. and 3. are the same goal.
Actually, they are all three the same goal: to build a home. To find a place and a community where I am comfortable and safe, physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. Where my heart can live, and fill, and expand, and sometimes overflow.
(I'm working on the tattoo representation, but I have to do a ton more studies of sweet potatoes.)
I'm not there yet, but I'm still on that path and it feels good. I love Philadelphia and there are people here who I love and who love me. I've been underground for a little while, but I'm rebuilding my social life. Strengthening connections and building new ones. I'm on the market for a little house for me and a friend to share (and his cat). Preferably with some ground attached. I want my house to be a warm, inviting, open, and loving home for the three of us. And I want all the other parts of my life to run through it, too.
I think I'm far enough along to set a new intention:
2. Find a way to make enough money to live on that supports me in my life goals.
If I can make the current job work, I will, but at the moment it is wearing me down. I have been fatigued and intermittently sick for about a year now. I feel loyal, but clearly it's not supporting my physical and emotional health.
But this is a very big question and, for now, the house comes first. (Because the current job is providing the financial stability to vouch for the loan that will pay for the house and because a lot of things are changing at work and it could become good again.)
Thank you to all who have been a part of my journey. I love you.