(no subject)
I would have more time to update if I wasnt doing the work of 3 people. /end bitching
So Monday night Ferris and I are on the phone, and he out of the blue asked me how I felt about moving to Michigan. There's a position open out there where he would me making at least $10,000/year more than he is now, and he'd be doing something that he enjoys doing (teaching). There's no offer on the table or anything - he was just asking out of curiousity & as a topic of conversation. I told him that answering that question would have been a lot easier to answer if he and I were married. That way I would be following my husband across the country, rather than following my boyfriend of less than a year.
In 2002, when I was dating Chris (my first "love" for those new to my journal), his big goal in life was to move to Florida and work at Disney and blah blah blah. I was so sure that he was in "love" with me that I was willing and ready to give up my whole entire life to follow him 1500 miles away from everything and everyone that I knew. I had no guarentee that he and I would be together forever, hell, he hadn't even though about proposing to me. It was just a girl following a boy, just like in the movies.
What if I had given up everything to move down there, only to have a self-esteem ruining relationship and breakup? What if I hadn't given up and kept trying to make something happen with him, not realizing that it would be the worst thing for me? Would it still have taken me 2+ years to finally sort through the crap and hell that I went through to try and be the girl that he wanted?
Believe it or not, none of that went through my head when I was talking to Ferris. I couldn't believe that my best friend and the boy that I love more than anything was considering moving away, and he was asking me to go with him. I was (and still am) extremely cautious about the whole thing, even if it is still "wishful thinking" for now. The girls/women that I work with think that I'm being way too level headed, and I'm starting to worry that I am. What if there was a serious offer on the table for Ferris to move down there, and I was as cautious about going as I am now? Would I really throw something this amazing away because I'm scared of what could happen?
I don't mean to compare my relationship with Chris to what I have with Ferris - they're not even in the same galaxy as far as I'm concerned. Around the 10 month mark with Chris I kind of knew that things weren't going to work out, but with Ferris I'm thoroughly convinced that they will. I can't forsee anything coming between the bond that Ferris and I have, and that's probably one of the most comforting feelings in the world.
So then why am I being such a punk about moving away with him, if the oppurtunity were to come up? I know he would take care of us financially until I was able to find a job out there, and I know that I would be able to come home and visit any time that I wanted to. I don't really have anything holding me here (other than my job and the hope that Nicole (prettypr1ncess) will make her way down here soon :P). All of the signs that I'm looking at are pointing to go, but it's not a slam dunk in my mind yet.
This is all just thinking since he hasn't even applied for this job yet. It just has me wondering about the future a little bit, that's all.
So Monday night Ferris and I are on the phone, and he out of the blue asked me how I felt about moving to Michigan. There's a position open out there where he would me making at least $10,000/year more than he is now, and he'd be doing something that he enjoys doing (teaching). There's no offer on the table or anything - he was just asking out of curiousity & as a topic of conversation. I told him that answering that question would have been a lot easier to answer if he and I were married. That way I would be following my husband across the country, rather than following my boyfriend of less than a year.
In 2002, when I was dating Chris (my first "love" for those new to my journal), his big goal in life was to move to Florida and work at Disney and blah blah blah. I was so sure that he was in "love" with me that I was willing and ready to give up my whole entire life to follow him 1500 miles away from everything and everyone that I knew. I had no guarentee that he and I would be together forever, hell, he hadn't even though about proposing to me. It was just a girl following a boy, just like in the movies.
What if I had given up everything to move down there, only to have a self-esteem ruining relationship and breakup? What if I hadn't given up and kept trying to make something happen with him, not realizing that it would be the worst thing for me? Would it still have taken me 2+ years to finally sort through the crap and hell that I went through to try and be the girl that he wanted?
Believe it or not, none of that went through my head when I was talking to Ferris. I couldn't believe that my best friend and the boy that I love more than anything was considering moving away, and he was asking me to go with him. I was (and still am) extremely cautious about the whole thing, even if it is still "wishful thinking" for now. The girls/women that I work with think that I'm being way too level headed, and I'm starting to worry that I am. What if there was a serious offer on the table for Ferris to move down there, and I was as cautious about going as I am now? Would I really throw something this amazing away because I'm scared of what could happen?
I don't mean to compare my relationship with Chris to what I have with Ferris - they're not even in the same galaxy as far as I'm concerned. Around the 10 month mark with Chris I kind of knew that things weren't going to work out, but with Ferris I'm thoroughly convinced that they will. I can't forsee anything coming between the bond that Ferris and I have, and that's probably one of the most comforting feelings in the world.
So then why am I being such a punk about moving away with him, if the oppurtunity were to come up? I know he would take care of us financially until I was able to find a job out there, and I know that I would be able to come home and visit any time that I wanted to. I don't really have anything holding me here (other than my job and the hope that Nicole (prettypr1ncess) will make her way down here soon :P). All of the signs that I'm looking at are pointing to go, but it's not a slam dunk in my mind yet.
This is all just thinking since he hasn't even applied for this job yet. It just has me wondering about the future a little bit, that's all.