...open the door...
Crying sucks...
Yesterday...
~Went to school
~Went to Kathleen's to make sure she wasn't dieing
~Went home
~Picked up Andy at the cornerstore
~Went back to my house
~Went to Kathleen's and cried in her arms...I LOVE HER.
~Went home
~Went back to Kathleen's to give her her CD
~Went to Church...Which sucked ass because all I could do was stare at you
~Went home
~Mended my heart as much as it could be mended
~Stopped crying
Today...
~At school
~After school going to Wally world to get hair bleach
~Go to my house with Kevin to shave and bleach his hair
You know what the best thing about today has been?...getting a hug from him.
Life is a neverending array of uncontrollable emotions. I mean just yesterday I was crying to the point where I couldn't breath, and today I'm happy and smiling and hugging him. Inside I'm dieing but alive...I'm cold but warm, I'm slipping but holding on. I feel lost but saved, I feel tired but awake...none of it makes sense. He does make me happy, don't get me wrong...very happy...he keeps me sane...but I'm still hurting inside...from other things. Will this pain ever go away? I can't tell...its there one minute, forgotten for the next, then it all comes rushing back in to the point where I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs and everyone can hear me except myself...I just want it all to be sorted out...but if you're emotions and feelings made sense and were all sorted and organized then life wouldn't be as interesting now would it?
Eventually I will have to leave...but there are still a few months left...so lets take this time to spend togther...
I miss my Kathleenis the Penis...she is sick and dieing...tear tear...I'm going to bring her chicken soup...
Rochester....6 days...woohoo
college, no college? oh which should I choose? I want to do so much in life and I don't know where to start.
nothing else to say...maybe I'll update later on
Later days
Yesterday...
~Went to school
~Went to Kathleen's to make sure she wasn't dieing
~Went home
~Picked up Andy at the cornerstore
~Went back to my house
~Went to Kathleen's and cried in her arms...I LOVE HER.
~Went home
~Went back to Kathleen's to give her her CD
~Went to Church...Which sucked ass because all I could do was stare at you
~Went home
~Mended my heart as much as it could be mended
~Stopped crying
Today...
~At school
~After school going to Wally world to get hair bleach
~Go to my house with Kevin to shave and bleach his hair
You know what the best thing about today has been?...getting a hug from him.
Life is a neverending array of uncontrollable emotions. I mean just yesterday I was crying to the point where I couldn't breath, and today I'm happy and smiling and hugging him. Inside I'm dieing but alive...I'm cold but warm, I'm slipping but holding on. I feel lost but saved, I feel tired but awake...none of it makes sense. He does make me happy, don't get me wrong...very happy...he keeps me sane...but I'm still hurting inside...from other things. Will this pain ever go away? I can't tell...its there one minute, forgotten for the next, then it all comes rushing back in to the point where I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs and everyone can hear me except myself...I just want it all to be sorted out...but if you're emotions and feelings made sense and were all sorted and organized then life wouldn't be as interesting now would it?
Eventually I will have to leave...but there are still a few months left...so lets take this time to spend togther...
I miss my Kathleenis the Penis...she is sick and dieing...tear tear...I'm going to bring her chicken soup...
Rochester....6 days...woohoo
college, no college? oh which should I choose? I want to do so much in life and I don't know where to start.
nothing else to say...maybe I'll update later on
Later days