[jongkey] fountains
fountains
jongkey // pg-13 // 7,008 words
summary: no matter who or where they are, they always manage to find each other; five different ways jonghyun and key fall in love.
They weren't dating; it wasn't like that. It was just-just Key coming home after a long day of classes sometimes and Jonghyun waiting for him outside his building, leaning against the wall and humming softly or sitting on the steps outside, smoking a cigarette. He would always brighten when he saw Key. When Key got close enough, he'd stand and greet him with a kiss. If he'd been smoking, Key would wrinkle his nose and push him away, and Jonghyun would grin and offer him a cigarette. Key would scowl or roll his eyes or both, and open the door to let Jonghyun follow him up to his apartment, where he'd drop his books on the floor by the front door and let Jonghyun kiss him all the way to the bedroom.
They ran into each other all the time. Although, Key thought, maybe now it wasn't so much of a coincidence; sometimes he caught himself thinking of places he could go where Jonghyun was likely to be. He'd take detours, walk down streets he'd seen Jonghyun on before, peer into the windows of coffee shops he passed to see if Jonghyun was sitting at one of the tables inside, looking out.
One day when he saw Jonghyun on the street, he walked up to him and poked a finger viciously into his side. Jonghyun bent sideways with an angry, “What the fuck-” but cut himself off when he saw who it was. He gave Key a look that Key supposed was meant to be exasperated, but couldn't quite hide his surprised delight at seeing Key there-Key realized how much Jonghyun's emotions showed on his face, how easy his expressions were to read.
“Hey, bitch,” Jonghyun said.
Key shoved him gently and said, “Don't call me a bitch.” That made Jonghyun laugh.
And then he turned to Key, his grin changing, becoming suggestive and somehow lewd. “Want to come home with me?” he asked, voice dropping a half-octave.
So Key walked with Jonghyun back to his apartment, ignoring the fact that he had an exam the next day, and Jonghyun sucked him off against the inside of his front door, then brought him to his bedroom, where they fucked until it got dark and they got hungry. They ordered Chinese takeout and fucked again after they ate.
After that, Key would sometimes show up unannounced at Jonghyun's apartment too. Sometimes, if he'd had a frustrating day at school, he'd find himself turning the other way from the campus gates, walking toward Jonghyun's place instead of going home. He'd press Jonghyun's apartment number on the intercom and Jonghyun would buzz him in. Or, if there was no answer, he'd wait outside, sitting on the curb in front of the building until Jonghyun got back.
Sometimes Key would wait at Jonghyun's apartment and Jonghyun would wait at Key's apartment, and they would miss each other. The third time this happened, Key had waited until nightfall before standing up, annoyed, and starting to head home. On the way, he met Jonghyun coming back.
“Hey, were you just at my place?” asked Jonghyun. He sounded amused.
“Yeah,” said Key. “I was waiting for you-where were you?”
Jonghyun grinned. “At your place, waiting for you.”
Key stared at him, and Jonghyun laughed. He reached into Key's pocket- “What the hell are you doing?” -and pulled out Key's cell phone. He keyed in his number and pressed save, then called himself before flipping Key's phone shut again and handing it back.
“There,” he said. “From now on we can call each other so this doesn't happen again.” He paused as Key put his phone away, then said, “So-are you really busy tonight? Do you have to go home and do like, straight-A student things-study or something?”
Key refrained from rolling his eyes or scowling. “Not particularly,” he said.
Jonghyun smirked. “The reason I ask,” he said, “is because it's kind of late, and maybe, you know, you don't want to walk home alone like this. Maybe you want to come over to my place instead.”
Key did roll his eyes this time, but he stepped in next to Jonghyun and started walking back the way he had come, towards Jonghyun's apartment. He could see Jonghyun's lopsided grin in his mind without even looking at Jonghyun's face.
They walked back together. At one point, Jonghyun reached over to hold Key's wrist loosely. Key let him, but only for a minute. Then he shook his arm, trying to make Jonghyun let go, but only succeeded in making Jonghyun's hand slide down so that they were effectively holding hands instead.
He let their hands stay like that, and only felt a small flicker of annoyance when Jonghyun squeezed his hand once and grinned meaningfully.
Later that night, after Jonghyun had fallen asleep already, Key flipped open his phone and scrolled down through his contacts list, looking for Jonghyun's number. He found it, and rolled his eyes: Jonghyun had saved himself as “your delinquent lover.” Key pressed the edit button, intent on changing it to Jonghyun's name, but his fingers hesitated over the keypad; eventually, he flipped the phone shut instead, set it on the bedside table, and went to sleep, Jonghyun's body a warm, steady weight at his back.
One day after Key's morning class, he walked outside and saw Jonghyun sitting next to Minho by the fountain in the courtyard. They were just chatting casually, but it was such an unexpected sight that Key stopped in his tracks and just stood there blinking for a moment, wondering if maybe he’d fallen asleep in class and was still dreaming.
He walked over to them.
“Hi,” he said. Minho and Jonghyun both looked up at him. A broad grin broke over Jonghyun's face almost immediately.
“Hey,” he said. “Look who I found.” He gestured towards Minho, looking proud of himself; Key resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and instead looked to Minho, hoping for more elaboration.
“Yeah,” said Minho. “I didn't have a class this morning, so I was on my way to campus just now, and this guy comes up to me and says hi, and we started talking.”
“That's just like him,” commented Key drily.
“If you're referring to how I am a much more pleasant person than you, I'm taking that as a compliment,” Jonghyun retorted. Key rolled his eyes at him.
“I didn’t even know you guys knew each other,” he said to Minho.
Minho looked at him. “Everyone knows you’re dating him,” he said after a moment.
“We’re not-” started Key.
Jonghyun cut him off: “And I know I’ve seen you guys hanging out together-even if you never introduce me to any of your friends,” he said.
Minho stood up. “Anyway, my class starts in like five minutes, so.” He slung his backpack over one shoulder. “See you later,” he said to Key. To Jonghyun, he said, “It was nice finally meeting you.”
Jonghyun waved as Minho walked off, then turned back to find Key eying him. “What?” he said.
“So you just-happened to run into Minho.”
“Yeah,” said Jonghyun. “I did.” He grinned, amused, when it was obvious that Key didn't believe him. “What,” he said, “do you think I'm stalking your friends or something?”
Key's expression made it clear that he was suspecting Jonghyun of exactly that, or at least something along those lines. He stared at Jonghyun, and Jonghyun stared back, meeting his gaze.
“Hey,” he said, after a while. One corner of his mouth quirked up, turning his grin lopsided.
“What?”
Jonghyun reached forward and circled Key's wrists with his fingers; Key let him, used to this habit of Jonghyun's by now.
Jonghyun's grin suddenly widened mischievously. Key tried to twist out of his grip, but it was too late; Jonghyun's fingers tightened around his wrists and tugged, twisting sideways at the same time, and Key was pulled off his balance, tripping over the ledge circling the edge of the fountain and falling into the water.
It was only about a foot deep, but that was plenty deep enough to soak Key from head to toe. He sat up, spluttering. People were turning to look at the commotion.
“You asshole!” Key exclaimed. Jonghyun was bending over, clutching his stomach with one hand as he laughed and laughed. All his weight was on his other hand, propping himself up on the fountain's edge; Key narrowed his eyes and reached out, pulling that arm out from underneath Jonghyun. Suddenly there was nothing supporting Jonghyun's weight, and, with a cry of surprise, he was topping over sideways to join Key in the fountain.
Jonghyun was laughing as he surfaced, which made Key scowl even harder.
“What is wrong with you?” he demanded. Jonghyun only laughed harder. He swept his hand through the water, splashing it up into Key's face. Key spluttered and retaliated, splashing Jonghyun back.
Jonghyun kept laughing. Key didn't really understand why-they were both sitting soaking wet in a fountain in the middle of his school; people were staring at them as they walked by. But Jonghyun looked so happy to be there, sprawled in the water next to Key, and Key felt his scowl soften and slide gradually off his face.
Soon he was laughing too, softly at first, then louder, growing to match Jonghyun's. They were sitting in a fountain, laughing for no reason; Key felt slightly giddy.
Jonghyun let himself collapse into Key, leaning into Key's shoulder. He turned his face up to look at Key as Key looked down at him, still laughing.
Suddenly, sitting there under the glistening spray of the fountain above, water soaking into their clothes and filling their shoes, Key thought for the first time that Jonghyun might matter to him-that he might actually care about Jonghyun. Jonghyun's face was glittering with beads of water, leaning against his shoulder, tilted up towards Key as he laughed, and the thought just appeared in his head suddenly: I think I might love him.
&&&&&&
Jonghyun didn't work on Saturdays, but most weeks, he dropped by in the morning anyway, to visit Key. It was strange, but somehow if he didn't, he got an uneasy feeling that lasted the whole day, like his daily routine was somehow incomplete if he didn't drop in to see how Key was doing.
He didn't tell Key this, of course. When Key asked him why he always came in on his day off, Jonghyun just shrugged and smiled, tilting his head to the side a little.
“They can't manage anything without me,” he might say. “I have to show up-what if the place burned down while I was gone? I wouldn't be able to live with myself.” Or: “I just happened to be passing by and I figured, since I'm already here I might as well stop in.” Or: “It's Saturday? Really?”
And Key would give a tilted smile and shake his head, and Jonghyun would get that feeling he always got when he managed to make Key smile-all warmth and inexplicable satisfaction opening up in his chest and spreading all through his body.
One day Jonghyun was sitting on the bed animatedly telling Key funny stories about his sister while Key laughed so hard he was clutching his sides, and the head nurse walked in. Jonghyun half stood and froze there, fully expecting to get at the very least a telling off and a reassignment to a different ward. But the head nurse just smiled warmly at them both and given him a gentle reminder to let Key rest once in a while.
After that, Jonghyun noticed the other nurses acting weird too. Not weird in a bad way, but-for instance, he would come out of Key's room to find two or three of his coworkers scrambling away from the door, or he'd be chatting in the break room and Key's name would come up, and then the other nurses would all stop and smile knowingly at him. Jonghyun would blush and duck his head then, and hastily change the subject.
It was kind of embarrassing: everyone knew about Jonghyun's crush on Key, except for Key.
“What a nice nurse,” said Key's mother whenever she visited. “He seems so dedicated to his job-he's always checking in, making sure you have everything you need.”
Key looked over at Jonghyun, who had frozen in an awkward, sheepish stance where he was folding spare towels into a drawer.
“Yeah,” he said. “Jonghyun's like that.”
I'm not, Jonghyun wanted to say. It's only because it's you. But he just thanked them for the compliment and bowed out of the room as quickly as he could. He shut the door and leaned back against it, exhaling carefully. One of the other nurses passed by and gave him a sympathetic look; Jonghyun felt simultaneously thankful and embarrassed, ashamed of having let himself get so smitten with a patient.
And then in the evening, after Key's mother had left, Jonghyun would bring Key his dinner on a tray, and would sit beside the bed, keeping Key company while he ate, sometimes making sympathetic noises when Key complained of the bland taste, but mostly just resting his chin on his hand and watching, watching the motion of Key's throat as he chewed and swallowed. And if ever Key caught him looking and thought it odd, he never said anything about it.
It had just kind of snuck up on him. When Key had first shown up, he'd been weak and pale, face pallid from illness and excessive blood tests. Jonghyun had felt sorry for him, but no more than what he felt for any other patient. And just like with any other patient, he'd talk to him a little when he brought him meals, when he came in to check his temperature and heart rate and blood pressure.
But then one day Key looked right at Jonghyun and smiled and talked back-just normal, but Jonghyun felt something in his chest that he couldn't explain. And then he started noticing he was spending more and more time in Key's room, dropping by during breaks or after he'd finished making his usual rounds. And then by and by Jonghyun realized that maybe the reason he treated Key differently, the reason he always found some excuse to be in Key's room, some small task that needed to be done, was that at some point he'd fallen for Key. There was just something about Key. There was something in his million eye rolls that he always managed to inject with sardonicism and mockery no matter how sick he felt. There was something in the way he laughed, raucous and honest and not holding anything back. Something about Key just reached out to Jonghyun.
And Key didn't know how Jonghyun felt about him, but that was just fine for Jonghyun; he was happy just to be able to talk to Key, to make him laugh and to linger a moment too long when he felt for Key's pulse or wrapped his fingers around Key's arm to take his blood pressure.
And then it all came to an end.
“They told me I'm all better now,” said Key one day.
“Yeah,” said Jonghyun, after a moment. “I heard that too.” He smiled, feeling awful for wishing Key could be sick for just a while longer, so he wouldn't have to leave, so Jonghyun could still see him.
“I get to go home tomorrow,” said Key. He seemed to be expecting something from Jonghyun, but Jonghyun didn't know what, and he didn't trust himself to say anything, so he kept quiet., just kept the smile pasted on his face.
By the time Jonghyun got to the hospital the next morning, Key was already packed and was standing by the window. He turned when Jonghyun entered the room, and smiled, and Jonghyun felt that awful, selfish feeling twist in his gut again.
He brought Key's suitcase down for him and loaded it into the trunk of the car that was waiting to take him home. Another nurse brought Key down in a wheelchair, even though he could walk just fine, because it was hospital policy. Key stood up just as Jonghyun slammed down the lid of the trunk and stepped back onto the curb.
“Well,” said Jonghyun. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I guess that's that.” He bit his lip and gave an awkward smile.
“Yeah,” said Key after a beat. “That's that.” He clutched his bag to his chest. “Bye then,” he said.
“Bye,” echoed Jonghyun. Key turned and walked toward the car. Jonghyun watched until Key opened the car door and set his bag down inside, and then he felt a raw, stinging feeling starting to build up in his throat and knew he was going to cry. Don't be stupid, he thought angrily to himself as he turned away and stepped back toward the hospital. The glass doors slid aside for him to cross back into the air-conditioned, sanitized building.
And then someone slapped the back of his head. Jonghyun spun around.
“Jerk,” said Key. He crossed his arms across his chest and pursed his lips in a pout. “I can't believe you're just going to let me go without asking me out or getting my phone number or anything.”
Jonghyun blinked. “What?”
Key rolled his eyes. “Unless all those times you came to visit me on your day off and sat with me and talked to me were all just out of the goodness of your heart-but I don't believe that there are people that selfless.”
“Oh,” said Jonghyun, stupidly. “You like me too?” He often felt a little slow compared to Key's sharp tongue and quick wit, but he somehow he got the feeling he was being especially dull today.
“You're being especially dull today,” said Key, snorting a little. Uncrossing his arms, he stepped forward and, placing his hands on Jonghyun's biceps, leaned in to kiss Jonghyun.
Jonghyun found that he was grinning when they broke apart. He slid his arms around Key's waist, locking his fingers together at the small of Key's back. “Want to go out with me sometime?”
“Now he gets it,” said Key; Jonghyun smiled at the mixed fondness and pretend exasperation in his voice.
“Sorry I'm slow sometimes,” said Jonghyun.
“Or all the time,” said Key with a smirk. “But it's okay,” he continued, voice softening. “I love you anyway.”
Jonghyun beamed.
&&&&&&
The first time Jonghyun met Key he didn't think much of it. He didn't even catch his name-he was too busy getting his dick sucked; or rather, Key was too busy sucking Jonghyun's dick to tell him his name.
Jonghyun had woken up in a sweaty haze, his sheets, sticky with his come, a tangled mess around him. He tried halfheartedly to remember what he'd been dreaming about, but to no avail; his dream had already been reduced to vague, fleeting visions of a dimly lit room and someone whose face he couldn't quite remember.
After he pulled himself out of bed and into the shower, he forgot all about it-until the second time he met Key, that is.
The second time he saw Key, Jonghyun was standing on crowded street when Key caught his eye, giving a little smirk when Jonghyun's eyebrows shot up in sudden, shocked recognition. Then he'd turned and glided smoothly away through the sea of people.
Jonghyun tried to follow. He pushed his way past a few people, muttering, “Excuse me,” and “Pardon me,” but no one seemed to hear him; or if they did, they seemed to be deliberately crowding closer together, making it harder for Jonghyun to squeeze past him. He could see the top of Key's colorfully dyed hair, getting smaller and smaller as Key continued to move past the crowd with ease. Then the bright head of hair got fainter and then disappeared, just as the people around Jonghyun closed in completely, shutting him into a writhing darkness. He sank lower and lower beneath the crowd, surrounded first by woolen coats that scratched his face, then by the swoops of pant legs and pleated skirts, and then trampled underfoot.
He woke up feeling suffocated, and once again not being to able to remember why.
It wasn't until the next time, the third time, that Jonghyun was able to remember Key after he'd woken up.
Jonghyun found himself in a large, circular room. There was no door in sight, but the walls had large windows spaced about six feet apart, although Jonghyun couldn't make out anything through them but a vague, pale haze. There were a few people milling about, but the only one Jonghyun really noticed was Key.
Key saw him too; he smiled and cocked his head to one side. He didn't move other than that, but somehow he seemed to be beckoning Jonghyun over, so Jonghyun walked across to him.
“Hi,” he said once Jonghyun was close enough. “I'm Key.”
“I'm Jonghyun,” said Jonghyun.
“I know.”
How's that? Jonghyun wanted to ask; but then he remembered it was his dream, so it probably made sense that the people in it knew who he was. “What are you doing here?” he said instead.
Key shrugged. “I don't know,” he replied. “I guess it depends.”
“Depends on what?” Jonghyun asked. A slow smirk spread across Key's face, and Jonghyun felt a shiver make its way down his spine.
“It depends,” said Key, arching his eyebrows suggestively, “on what you want to do.”
Images flashed through Jonghyun's mind-the dim, half-remembered visions from the first time Key'd appeared in his dream became clear again. Want, Jonghyun thought; and let's get out of here.
“Yes, let's,” said Key-oh, so he can read my mind, thought Jonghyun. Okay. He followed Key as the other boy cut a path across the room to one of the windows. He placed a hand on the glass; only suddenly there was no glass-had there ever been? Jonghyun couldn't remember-and Key was stepping through the opening in the wall. Then he disappeared from sight, vanishing into the grey haze outside. Jonghyun looked over his shoulder, but no one seemed to have noticed, so he followed Key through the window.
He expected to find himself in some different setting, a bedroom somewhere, perhaps, or some city street, or a car, or even just a grassy field or something. But there really was nothing outside except the pale grey haze. Tendrils of nothingness swirled around Jonghyun, almost caressing, and from somewhere in the fog he could just make out Key's features as he stepped in closer and reached out toward Jonghyun.
This time when Jonghyun woke up, he remembered his dream-remembered Key, and the feel of his hands drifting over Jonghyun's bare skin, and the way his eyelids fluttered shut when and his mouth fell open when Jonghyun curled his fingers inside him.
After that, Key started showing up in Jonghyun's dreams more and more often. Jonghyun started looking forward to falling asleep, because four times out of five, it meant he would get to see Key. And Key would catch his eye and give him a meaningful look and a coy smile, and then Jonghyun would find himself following Key into some secluded corner, not really knowing where he was going-just that he was going where Key was going.
They didn't always have sex. They usually did-but sometimes they just lay under the sky somewhere, quiet, but together. Or they'd walk along a dirt path in the countryside, and Jonghyun would break away ahead of Key, singing or yelling, and Key would roll his eyes fondly and follow at his own, leisurely pace. But no matter where they were, it was always some dream world, nowhere Jonghyun had been in real life. No matter how much Jonghyun looked forward to seeing Key, as far as Jonghyun was concerned, Key was just some recurring dream character, some figment of his imagination that his subconscious had made up. Their meetings were always just dreams.
Until one day Jonghyun saw Key walking down the street on his way home from the grocery store.
Jonghyun almost dropped his bags in shock. He was pretty sure he was awake. He clearly remembered waking up that morning and showering, then going into the kitchen to find that he was out of food, which led to him going to the store to get some, which was why he was here now, carrying his grocery bags back to his apartment.
He pinched himself anyway; it hurt.
He watched, following along at a distance, as Key made his way down the street. His head was down, and his hair was a dark shade of brown instead of the multicolored streaks he had in Jonghyun's dreams, but Jonghyun was sure it was him. Then Key turned a corner, and Jonghyun hurried after him, but apparently not fast enough, because by the time he turned onto the intersecting street, Key was gone from sight.
“I think I'm going crazy,” Jonghyun declared that night when he fell asleep and found himself sitting at the sandy bottom of an ocean, Key lying back leisurely beside him.
“Okay,” said Key. “Although I'm pretty sure you've always been crazy,” he added. Jonghyun ignored that part.
“I think I'm going crazy,” he said again. “I saw you today. When I was awake.”
“Oh,” said Key. He rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on one arm. “What did I say?”
Jonghyun blinked. “Nothing,” he said. “I mean, I don't think you saw me.”
“What,” Key said, “you mean you didn't go up to me or anything?”
“No.” Jonghyun chewed his lip. “Should I have?”
Key shrugged. “I don't care.” He rolled over onto his back again, tucking his hands under his head, and looked up at schools of tiny, colorful fish swimming above them. “I don't care,” he said again. Jonghyun wondered if that was supposed to mean he did care. Key was difficult sometimes.
He said this out loud. “You're just like a girl sometimes,” he said.
Key scowled and turned his head just enough to glare at Jonghyun out of the corner of his eye. “Unless you're referring to my delicate and beautiful bone structure, I resent that,” he said.
Jonghyun laughed. “What are you talking about,” he said. “I don't even know half the time.”
Key gave a long-suffering sort of sigh. “You're just not intelligent enough to understand my brilliance,” he said, all put-on exasperation, and Jonghyun laughed again.
A week later, in real life, Jonghyun got off the train and headed for the exit like normal, but something made him turn back; he looked just in time to see Key get on the train. Jonghyun hurried back toward the train, but it was too late. A cool reminder to stand clear of the closing doors rang out just before Jonghyun got close enough to step back on the train, and he watched the gap between the doors narrow and disappear. The train started moving, slowly at first, and Jonghyun walked alongside the car, looking through the window. He got a glimpse of Key clutching the handle with one hand and fiddling with his mp3 player with the other, and then the train gained speed and Jonghyun couldn't see anything anymore.
That night he dreamed that he was following a trail of golden footprints. Each clear indentation in the soft dirt ground seemed to be coated with a thin layer of solid gold, and thin, curling strands of silver grew from them like wispy, delicate vines. Everything around him was dark, but when Jonghyun looked up, he could see Key, far ahead of him, his every step creating another shining footprint.
“Hey!” shouted Jonghyun; but his voice was muted, as if coming from very far away.
He started running, hurrying after Key. The gap between them grew smaller, and Jonghyun thought victoriously, I'm going to catch him.
But then Key turned around and gave Jonghyun a sad look, and Jonghyun realized suddenly that he wasn't closer after all; the distance between them had somehow gotten larger again. Jonghyun ran forward again, panic starting to fill up his chest, but even though Key was standing still, he only seemed to grow farther and farther away, the number of golden footprints on the ground between them growing larger and larger.
Jonghyun woke up in the dark, breathing hard.
He didn't dream about Key again for several weeks.
“Where've you been?” Jonghyun asked Key when he finally did. It'd been so long that he'd almost given up on ever seeing him again.
Key was playing one of those crane games, trying to grab something orange and glossy. He glanced at Jonghyun sideways and gave a casual shrug before turning his gaze back to the task at hand. “Around,” he said.
Jonghyun stepped closer and touched Key's upper arm. Key shook him off. “Shh,” he said. “I'm trying to concentrate, you know.”
Jonghyun looked closer at Key's crane game; the orange glossy things in the glass container were live crabs, he realized, scuttling over each other, dodging the metal claw looming above. Jonghyun raised his eyebrows. “Why are you trying to catch a crab?”
Key scoffed. “What crab?” he said. “These are dinosaur bones.” Jonghyun leaned in again, and sure enough, the glass box was now filled with fossils, old brown and yellowed things that could be rocks, except for the clear shapes of bones imprinted on them. He looked back at Key again, and the other boy's form was warping and twisting.
“No, wait-” said Jonghyun, reaching out-but it was too late, and Key turned to smoke and Jonghyun's fist closed around nothing but wisps of formless mist.
He woke up then-into another dream, he thought at first, because he was on the subway and Key was sitting across from him. Then, as the fog of sleep cleared, he remembered that he actually had been on the subway when he'd fallen asleep.
He stared hard at Key, who was looking down at his ipod. “Am I asleep or am I awake?” Jonghyun said to himself.
Or he'd meant for it to be to himself, but apparently he was too loud; Key seemed to hear him even through his earphones and looked up, directly at Jonghyun. Jonghyun quickly looked away, but he wasn't quick enough. When he glanced tentatively back, Key had his eyebrows raised and was plucking at the cord of his earphones, popping one side out of his ear.
“Are you talking to me?” he said.
Jonghyun blinked and opened his mouth to answer, but then he realized he had no idea what to say and closed it again, frowning. Annoyance flickered across Key's features; he sighed and reached to put his earphones back in.
“Wait,” said Jonghyun. Key's gaze shifted toward him again. He looked irritated. Jonghyun felt suddenly nervous.
“I realize this is really weird and probably inappropriate,” he said, “but do you want to go out for coffee sometime? My name is Kim Jonghyun,” he added.
Key gave a little scoff and rolled his eyes. But when he said, “Okay,” his voice was without a trace of irony. His eyes widened, like he was surprised at what he'd just said.
Jonghyun was surprised too. “Really?” he asked.
“I meant to say no,” said Key.
“Oh,” said Jonghyun. “No?” His shoulders slumped slightly.
“Well,” said Key, looking out of his comfort zone, “okay, I guess.”
Jonghyun beamed. The train slowed and the man sitting next to Key stood up to leave. Jonghyun slid across the aisle into his vacated seat. He wondered vaguely if he would still dream of Key, and if the Key in his dreams would change now that he'd met Key in real life.
“Don't sit so close, I don't even know you-you don't even know me,” said Key, shifting his shoulder away from where it pressed against Jonghyun's. “I'm Key,” he added, belatedly.
Jonghyun leaned over again so that his arm was touching Key's once more.
“I know,” he said.
&&&&&&
They met completely by accident. Jonghyun was training to be a pilot, and Key to be a strategist, and the two groups normally kept to themselves, rarely mingled with each other.
Key was studying in his reserved reading room off the space camp library when the door gave a complicated series of beeps and slid up with an unnatural scraping sound, and Jonghyun barreled in.
“Who the hell are you?” demanded Key. Jonghyun jabbed at the button to close the door again and then turned to face him. He was grinning; Key found it surprisingly annoying.
“Hi,” said Jonghyun. He was holding a small metallic object in his right hand; he slid it into the breast pocket of his trainee suit (grey with the blue pilot's stripe going down the shoulder) before holding his hand out for Key to shake. “I'm Jonghyun.”
Key ignored him. “That was a code scrambler,” he said. “Those are illegal.”
“Well I won't tell if you won't,” said Jonghyun, his smile tilting up at one corner.
Key was definitely going to tell.
“What are you even doing here?” he asked. He looked Jonghyun up and down disdainfully.
“Hiding,” said Jonghyun simply.
Key opened his mouth to ask who, then decided he didn't want to know. He said instead, “You can't be in here. This is my reading room. My private reading room.”
“Wow, you people get private reading rooms?” said Jonghyun, eyebrows going up in an expression that looked strangely like amusement, although Key couldn't see what was so amusing about that. “That's so nerdy.” Key's mouth fell open in indignation, but before he could come up with a satisfactory retort, Jonghyun continued, “And unfair! A whole room just for your own private studies? Although I suppose we get private flight training modules...” He trailed off; Key wondered if he was even still talking to Key, or if he was just muttering to himself now.
“Well anyway,” said Jonghyun in pleased tones, appearing to reach a decision. “Any way you look at it private training modules are cooler than a nerdy little study room, so I guess pilots are better than strategists after all.”
Key scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, “it's so much cooler to be an unsophisticated barbarian who only knows how to crash through space shooting at things than a strategist, who actually has to use his brain-”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Jonghyun, cutting him off. “I've heard it all already-give it a rest, will you?” He started wandering around the room, looking at the books and gadgets lining the shelves. He poked at the computer screen set into the desk.
“Don't touch that!” Key slapped his hand away.
“Sorry,” said Jonghyun, not sounding sorry at all. He swung around and lifted himself up to sit on the tabletop. Key pursed his lips and resisted the urge to strangle him, or to kick him in the side until he got off the table, or out of the room.
Suddenly Jonghyun leaned forward, forward and down, a lot. Key pressed himself back in his seat in an attempt in widen the suddenly very small distance between their faces, but Jonghyun just leaned forward more; Key wondered vaguely how he was keeping himself perched on the table.
“What are you doing.” Key was somewhat surprised that he managed to get the words out while trying simultaneously to breathe as little as humanly possible.
He could feel Jonghyun's breath in warm puffs on his face when he replied: “I've never seen a strategist up close before,” he said.
Key brought his hands up between them and pushed Jonghyun away. “What are you, blind? You normally don't need to be quite that close to see someone.” He rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the way his heart was suddenly racing.
Jonghyun grinned. “You're pretty,” he said; and then Key's heart was suddenly beating even faster, and his next breath stuck in his throat a little, and he thought that maybe he wouldn't report Jonghyun for having the code scrambler after all.
The second time they met was an accident too. Key was getting lunch in the cafeteria when three blue-striped trainees-pilots-crashed into him, laughing and wrestling.
“Watch it,” said Key in sharp tones.
“Sorry,” they chorused, sounding quite insincere. But then one of them looked up at Key, and he realized with a start that it was Jonghyun.
“Hey, it's you,” said Jonghyun. He stepped away from the other two, leaving them to their playful scuffle. “You never told me your name.”
That was on purpose, Key wanted to say, but what came out instead was, “It's Key.”
“Key,” repeated Jonghyun. He grinned. “Cool,” he said. “I like it.” And then he grabbed a cookie off of Key's tray and, ignoring Key's protests, tore open the package and bit into it as he backed away across the room, calling, “See you around, Key!”
A few days later, there was a knock on the door of his reading room, and when Key pressed the button to slide the door open, Jonghyun was standing there.
Key scowled. “It's you,” he said. “What are you doing here again?”
“Had some spare time, so I came to see you,” said Jonghyun, ducking into the room and coming to sit next to Key.
“What makes you think I want to see you?”
Jonghyun shrugged. “You let me in,” he said, and Key realized it was true: he could have shut the door again once he'd realized who it was, locked Jonghyun out, but instead he'd let the door open all the way and waited for Jonghyun to come in. He supposed, if he was honest with himself, that some part of him had even been glad it was Jonghyun at the door.
After that, Jonghyun came to visit him in his study room often. Key complained about the frequent intrusions-“How am I supposed to get anything done if you always drop in like this?”-but they both knew that Jonghyun was always welcome. So Jonghyun kept coming, and one day, Key realized with a shock that they were friends, and not only that, but that Jonghyun knew him better than any of his other friends, his classmates and fellow strategists.
Jonghyun graduated early, a result of the ongoing war against the Tritonians and the urgent need for more fighter pilots.
Key attended his graduation ceremony, standing quietly at the back, the only strategist in the room. He felt odd and out of place, but when Jonghyun walked up to receive his diploma, he turned to look straight at Key and smiled-beamed-at him, and then Key forgot all the awkward stares he'd gotten and just smiled back, happy and proud.
Afterwards, he waited in the hall until Jonghyun came out.
“Hey,” he said with a smile, “you did it.”
Jonghyun laughed. “Did you ever doubt me?” he asked.
Key rolled his eyes, although the effect was dampened by the way he smiled and shook his head.
Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something more, but suddenly was cut off by the loud blaring of the emergency alarm. The hall filled with orange flashes of light, and a cool voice said over the loudspeaker, “All fighter pilots please report to the launch bay immediately. All fighter pilots to the launch bay.”
Jonghyun's lips tightened, smile falling from his face. “That's me,” he said. He turned to leave.
“Wait,” said Key. He reached out to grasp Jonghyun by the arm. Jonghyun looked down at Key's slender fingers, starkly white against the black of his brand new uniform sleeve, and then back at Key's face, impatiently.
“Key, I have to go,” he said. Key bit his lower lip; his eyebrows fell into a worried slant. The alarm sounded insistently in the background. “Key,” Jonghyun said, again.
“Be careful,” Key said, finally. “I-” He broke off and looked down.
Jonghyun stepped closer to Key. He smoothed a hand over the side of Key's hair, then brought it down to rest lightly over Key's hand on his arm.
“I know,” said Jonghyun. “I love you too.”
Key looked up then, eyes bright with tears and surprise; Jonghyun took the opportunity to lean in and press a light kiss to Key's lips. Then he stepped back, pulling away from Key's grasp. He smiled reassuringly at Key as he backed away, and then he turned and ran down the corridor. When he reached the end he ducked into the glowing portal there and was gone.
&&&&&&
The room was filled with the cacophony of dozens of overlapping singing voices clashing as they rehearsed their parts and the shuffling thuds of overeager trainees practicing their solos. But neither Jonghyun nor Key noticed the noise and movement that surrounded them as they faced each other.
“I'm Kim Jonghyun.”
“Kim Kibum-Key.”
jongkey // pg-13 // 7,008 words
summary: no matter who or where they are, they always manage to find each other; five different ways jonghyun and key fall in love.
They weren't dating; it wasn't like that. It was just-just Key coming home after a long day of classes sometimes and Jonghyun waiting for him outside his building, leaning against the wall and humming softly or sitting on the steps outside, smoking a cigarette. He would always brighten when he saw Key. When Key got close enough, he'd stand and greet him with a kiss. If he'd been smoking, Key would wrinkle his nose and push him away, and Jonghyun would grin and offer him a cigarette. Key would scowl or roll his eyes or both, and open the door to let Jonghyun follow him up to his apartment, where he'd drop his books on the floor by the front door and let Jonghyun kiss him all the way to the bedroom.
They ran into each other all the time. Although, Key thought, maybe now it wasn't so much of a coincidence; sometimes he caught himself thinking of places he could go where Jonghyun was likely to be. He'd take detours, walk down streets he'd seen Jonghyun on before, peer into the windows of coffee shops he passed to see if Jonghyun was sitting at one of the tables inside, looking out.
One day when he saw Jonghyun on the street, he walked up to him and poked a finger viciously into his side. Jonghyun bent sideways with an angry, “What the fuck-” but cut himself off when he saw who it was. He gave Key a look that Key supposed was meant to be exasperated, but couldn't quite hide his surprised delight at seeing Key there-Key realized how much Jonghyun's emotions showed on his face, how easy his expressions were to read.
“Hey, bitch,” Jonghyun said.
Key shoved him gently and said, “Don't call me a bitch.” That made Jonghyun laugh.
And then he turned to Key, his grin changing, becoming suggestive and somehow lewd. “Want to come home with me?” he asked, voice dropping a half-octave.
So Key walked with Jonghyun back to his apartment, ignoring the fact that he had an exam the next day, and Jonghyun sucked him off against the inside of his front door, then brought him to his bedroom, where they fucked until it got dark and they got hungry. They ordered Chinese takeout and fucked again after they ate.
After that, Key would sometimes show up unannounced at Jonghyun's apartment too. Sometimes, if he'd had a frustrating day at school, he'd find himself turning the other way from the campus gates, walking toward Jonghyun's place instead of going home. He'd press Jonghyun's apartment number on the intercom and Jonghyun would buzz him in. Or, if there was no answer, he'd wait outside, sitting on the curb in front of the building until Jonghyun got back.
Sometimes Key would wait at Jonghyun's apartment and Jonghyun would wait at Key's apartment, and they would miss each other. The third time this happened, Key had waited until nightfall before standing up, annoyed, and starting to head home. On the way, he met Jonghyun coming back.
“Hey, were you just at my place?” asked Jonghyun. He sounded amused.
“Yeah,” said Key. “I was waiting for you-where were you?”
Jonghyun grinned. “At your place, waiting for you.”
Key stared at him, and Jonghyun laughed. He reached into Key's pocket- “What the hell are you doing?” -and pulled out Key's cell phone. He keyed in his number and pressed save, then called himself before flipping Key's phone shut again and handing it back.
“There,” he said. “From now on we can call each other so this doesn't happen again.” He paused as Key put his phone away, then said, “So-are you really busy tonight? Do you have to go home and do like, straight-A student things-study or something?”
Key refrained from rolling his eyes or scowling. “Not particularly,” he said.
Jonghyun smirked. “The reason I ask,” he said, “is because it's kind of late, and maybe, you know, you don't want to walk home alone like this. Maybe you want to come over to my place instead.”
Key did roll his eyes this time, but he stepped in next to Jonghyun and started walking back the way he had come, towards Jonghyun's apartment. He could see Jonghyun's lopsided grin in his mind without even looking at Jonghyun's face.
They walked back together. At one point, Jonghyun reached over to hold Key's wrist loosely. Key let him, but only for a minute. Then he shook his arm, trying to make Jonghyun let go, but only succeeded in making Jonghyun's hand slide down so that they were effectively holding hands instead.
He let their hands stay like that, and only felt a small flicker of annoyance when Jonghyun squeezed his hand once and grinned meaningfully.
Later that night, after Jonghyun had fallen asleep already, Key flipped open his phone and scrolled down through his contacts list, looking for Jonghyun's number. He found it, and rolled his eyes: Jonghyun had saved himself as “your delinquent lover.” Key pressed the edit button, intent on changing it to Jonghyun's name, but his fingers hesitated over the keypad; eventually, he flipped the phone shut instead, set it on the bedside table, and went to sleep, Jonghyun's body a warm, steady weight at his back.
One day after Key's morning class, he walked outside and saw Jonghyun sitting next to Minho by the fountain in the courtyard. They were just chatting casually, but it was such an unexpected sight that Key stopped in his tracks and just stood there blinking for a moment, wondering if maybe he’d fallen asleep in class and was still dreaming.
He walked over to them.
“Hi,” he said. Minho and Jonghyun both looked up at him. A broad grin broke over Jonghyun's face almost immediately.
“Hey,” he said. “Look who I found.” He gestured towards Minho, looking proud of himself; Key resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and instead looked to Minho, hoping for more elaboration.
“Yeah,” said Minho. “I didn't have a class this morning, so I was on my way to campus just now, and this guy comes up to me and says hi, and we started talking.”
“That's just like him,” commented Key drily.
“If you're referring to how I am a much more pleasant person than you, I'm taking that as a compliment,” Jonghyun retorted. Key rolled his eyes at him.
“I didn’t even know you guys knew each other,” he said to Minho.
Minho looked at him. “Everyone knows you’re dating him,” he said after a moment.
“We’re not-” started Key.
Jonghyun cut him off: “And I know I’ve seen you guys hanging out together-even if you never introduce me to any of your friends,” he said.
Minho stood up. “Anyway, my class starts in like five minutes, so.” He slung his backpack over one shoulder. “See you later,” he said to Key. To Jonghyun, he said, “It was nice finally meeting you.”
Jonghyun waved as Minho walked off, then turned back to find Key eying him. “What?” he said.
“So you just-happened to run into Minho.”
“Yeah,” said Jonghyun. “I did.” He grinned, amused, when it was obvious that Key didn't believe him. “What,” he said, “do you think I'm stalking your friends or something?”
Key's expression made it clear that he was suspecting Jonghyun of exactly that, or at least something along those lines. He stared at Jonghyun, and Jonghyun stared back, meeting his gaze.
“Hey,” he said, after a while. One corner of his mouth quirked up, turning his grin lopsided.
“What?”
Jonghyun reached forward and circled Key's wrists with his fingers; Key let him, used to this habit of Jonghyun's by now.
Jonghyun's grin suddenly widened mischievously. Key tried to twist out of his grip, but it was too late; Jonghyun's fingers tightened around his wrists and tugged, twisting sideways at the same time, and Key was pulled off his balance, tripping over the ledge circling the edge of the fountain and falling into the water.
It was only about a foot deep, but that was plenty deep enough to soak Key from head to toe. He sat up, spluttering. People were turning to look at the commotion.
“You asshole!” Key exclaimed. Jonghyun was bending over, clutching his stomach with one hand as he laughed and laughed. All his weight was on his other hand, propping himself up on the fountain's edge; Key narrowed his eyes and reached out, pulling that arm out from underneath Jonghyun. Suddenly there was nothing supporting Jonghyun's weight, and, with a cry of surprise, he was topping over sideways to join Key in the fountain.
Jonghyun was laughing as he surfaced, which made Key scowl even harder.
“What is wrong with you?” he demanded. Jonghyun only laughed harder. He swept his hand through the water, splashing it up into Key's face. Key spluttered and retaliated, splashing Jonghyun back.
Jonghyun kept laughing. Key didn't really understand why-they were both sitting soaking wet in a fountain in the middle of his school; people were staring at them as they walked by. But Jonghyun looked so happy to be there, sprawled in the water next to Key, and Key felt his scowl soften and slide gradually off his face.
Soon he was laughing too, softly at first, then louder, growing to match Jonghyun's. They were sitting in a fountain, laughing for no reason; Key felt slightly giddy.
Jonghyun let himself collapse into Key, leaning into Key's shoulder. He turned his face up to look at Key as Key looked down at him, still laughing.
Suddenly, sitting there under the glistening spray of the fountain above, water soaking into their clothes and filling their shoes, Key thought for the first time that Jonghyun might matter to him-that he might actually care about Jonghyun. Jonghyun's face was glittering with beads of water, leaning against his shoulder, tilted up towards Key as he laughed, and the thought just appeared in his head suddenly: I think I might love him.
&&&&&&
Jonghyun didn't work on Saturdays, but most weeks, he dropped by in the morning anyway, to visit Key. It was strange, but somehow if he didn't, he got an uneasy feeling that lasted the whole day, like his daily routine was somehow incomplete if he didn't drop in to see how Key was doing.
He didn't tell Key this, of course. When Key asked him why he always came in on his day off, Jonghyun just shrugged and smiled, tilting his head to the side a little.
“They can't manage anything without me,” he might say. “I have to show up-what if the place burned down while I was gone? I wouldn't be able to live with myself.” Or: “I just happened to be passing by and I figured, since I'm already here I might as well stop in.” Or: “It's Saturday? Really?”
And Key would give a tilted smile and shake his head, and Jonghyun would get that feeling he always got when he managed to make Key smile-all warmth and inexplicable satisfaction opening up in his chest and spreading all through his body.
One day Jonghyun was sitting on the bed animatedly telling Key funny stories about his sister while Key laughed so hard he was clutching his sides, and the head nurse walked in. Jonghyun half stood and froze there, fully expecting to get at the very least a telling off and a reassignment to a different ward. But the head nurse just smiled warmly at them both and given him a gentle reminder to let Key rest once in a while.
After that, Jonghyun noticed the other nurses acting weird too. Not weird in a bad way, but-for instance, he would come out of Key's room to find two or three of his coworkers scrambling away from the door, or he'd be chatting in the break room and Key's name would come up, and then the other nurses would all stop and smile knowingly at him. Jonghyun would blush and duck his head then, and hastily change the subject.
It was kind of embarrassing: everyone knew about Jonghyun's crush on Key, except for Key.
“What a nice nurse,” said Key's mother whenever she visited. “He seems so dedicated to his job-he's always checking in, making sure you have everything you need.”
Key looked over at Jonghyun, who had frozen in an awkward, sheepish stance where he was folding spare towels into a drawer.
“Yeah,” he said. “Jonghyun's like that.”
I'm not, Jonghyun wanted to say. It's only because it's you. But he just thanked them for the compliment and bowed out of the room as quickly as he could. He shut the door and leaned back against it, exhaling carefully. One of the other nurses passed by and gave him a sympathetic look; Jonghyun felt simultaneously thankful and embarrassed, ashamed of having let himself get so smitten with a patient.
And then in the evening, after Key's mother had left, Jonghyun would bring Key his dinner on a tray, and would sit beside the bed, keeping Key company while he ate, sometimes making sympathetic noises when Key complained of the bland taste, but mostly just resting his chin on his hand and watching, watching the motion of Key's throat as he chewed and swallowed. And if ever Key caught him looking and thought it odd, he never said anything about it.
It had just kind of snuck up on him. When Key had first shown up, he'd been weak and pale, face pallid from illness and excessive blood tests. Jonghyun had felt sorry for him, but no more than what he felt for any other patient. And just like with any other patient, he'd talk to him a little when he brought him meals, when he came in to check his temperature and heart rate and blood pressure.
But then one day Key looked right at Jonghyun and smiled and talked back-just normal, but Jonghyun felt something in his chest that he couldn't explain. And then he started noticing he was spending more and more time in Key's room, dropping by during breaks or after he'd finished making his usual rounds. And then by and by Jonghyun realized that maybe the reason he treated Key differently, the reason he always found some excuse to be in Key's room, some small task that needed to be done, was that at some point he'd fallen for Key. There was just something about Key. There was something in his million eye rolls that he always managed to inject with sardonicism and mockery no matter how sick he felt. There was something in the way he laughed, raucous and honest and not holding anything back. Something about Key just reached out to Jonghyun.
And Key didn't know how Jonghyun felt about him, but that was just fine for Jonghyun; he was happy just to be able to talk to Key, to make him laugh and to linger a moment too long when he felt for Key's pulse or wrapped his fingers around Key's arm to take his blood pressure.
And then it all came to an end.
“They told me I'm all better now,” said Key one day.
“Yeah,” said Jonghyun, after a moment. “I heard that too.” He smiled, feeling awful for wishing Key could be sick for just a while longer, so he wouldn't have to leave, so Jonghyun could still see him.
“I get to go home tomorrow,” said Key. He seemed to be expecting something from Jonghyun, but Jonghyun didn't know what, and he didn't trust himself to say anything, so he kept quiet., just kept the smile pasted on his face.
By the time Jonghyun got to the hospital the next morning, Key was already packed and was standing by the window. He turned when Jonghyun entered the room, and smiled, and Jonghyun felt that awful, selfish feeling twist in his gut again.
He brought Key's suitcase down for him and loaded it into the trunk of the car that was waiting to take him home. Another nurse brought Key down in a wheelchair, even though he could walk just fine, because it was hospital policy. Key stood up just as Jonghyun slammed down the lid of the trunk and stepped back onto the curb.
“Well,” said Jonghyun. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. “I guess that's that.” He bit his lip and gave an awkward smile.
“Yeah,” said Key after a beat. “That's that.” He clutched his bag to his chest. “Bye then,” he said.
“Bye,” echoed Jonghyun. Key turned and walked toward the car. Jonghyun watched until Key opened the car door and set his bag down inside, and then he felt a raw, stinging feeling starting to build up in his throat and knew he was going to cry. Don't be stupid, he thought angrily to himself as he turned away and stepped back toward the hospital. The glass doors slid aside for him to cross back into the air-conditioned, sanitized building.
And then someone slapped the back of his head. Jonghyun spun around.
“Jerk,” said Key. He crossed his arms across his chest and pursed his lips in a pout. “I can't believe you're just going to let me go without asking me out or getting my phone number or anything.”
Jonghyun blinked. “What?”
Key rolled his eyes. “Unless all those times you came to visit me on your day off and sat with me and talked to me were all just out of the goodness of your heart-but I don't believe that there are people that selfless.”
“Oh,” said Jonghyun, stupidly. “You like me too?” He often felt a little slow compared to Key's sharp tongue and quick wit, but he somehow he got the feeling he was being especially dull today.
“You're being especially dull today,” said Key, snorting a little. Uncrossing his arms, he stepped forward and, placing his hands on Jonghyun's biceps, leaned in to kiss Jonghyun.
Jonghyun found that he was grinning when they broke apart. He slid his arms around Key's waist, locking his fingers together at the small of Key's back. “Want to go out with me sometime?”
“Now he gets it,” said Key; Jonghyun smiled at the mixed fondness and pretend exasperation in his voice.
“Sorry I'm slow sometimes,” said Jonghyun.
“Or all the time,” said Key with a smirk. “But it's okay,” he continued, voice softening. “I love you anyway.”
Jonghyun beamed.
&&&&&&
The first time Jonghyun met Key he didn't think much of it. He didn't even catch his name-he was too busy getting his dick sucked; or rather, Key was too busy sucking Jonghyun's dick to tell him his name.
Jonghyun had woken up in a sweaty haze, his sheets, sticky with his come, a tangled mess around him. He tried halfheartedly to remember what he'd been dreaming about, but to no avail; his dream had already been reduced to vague, fleeting visions of a dimly lit room and someone whose face he couldn't quite remember.
After he pulled himself out of bed and into the shower, he forgot all about it-until the second time he met Key, that is.
The second time he saw Key, Jonghyun was standing on crowded street when Key caught his eye, giving a little smirk when Jonghyun's eyebrows shot up in sudden, shocked recognition. Then he'd turned and glided smoothly away through the sea of people.
Jonghyun tried to follow. He pushed his way past a few people, muttering, “Excuse me,” and “Pardon me,” but no one seemed to hear him; or if they did, they seemed to be deliberately crowding closer together, making it harder for Jonghyun to squeeze past him. He could see the top of Key's colorfully dyed hair, getting smaller and smaller as Key continued to move past the crowd with ease. Then the bright head of hair got fainter and then disappeared, just as the people around Jonghyun closed in completely, shutting him into a writhing darkness. He sank lower and lower beneath the crowd, surrounded first by woolen coats that scratched his face, then by the swoops of pant legs and pleated skirts, and then trampled underfoot.
He woke up feeling suffocated, and once again not being to able to remember why.
It wasn't until the next time, the third time, that Jonghyun was able to remember Key after he'd woken up.
Jonghyun found himself in a large, circular room. There was no door in sight, but the walls had large windows spaced about six feet apart, although Jonghyun couldn't make out anything through them but a vague, pale haze. There were a few people milling about, but the only one Jonghyun really noticed was Key.
Key saw him too; he smiled and cocked his head to one side. He didn't move other than that, but somehow he seemed to be beckoning Jonghyun over, so Jonghyun walked across to him.
“Hi,” he said once Jonghyun was close enough. “I'm Key.”
“I'm Jonghyun,” said Jonghyun.
“I know.”
How's that? Jonghyun wanted to ask; but then he remembered it was his dream, so it probably made sense that the people in it knew who he was. “What are you doing here?” he said instead.
Key shrugged. “I don't know,” he replied. “I guess it depends.”
“Depends on what?” Jonghyun asked. A slow smirk spread across Key's face, and Jonghyun felt a shiver make its way down his spine.
“It depends,” said Key, arching his eyebrows suggestively, “on what you want to do.”
Images flashed through Jonghyun's mind-the dim, half-remembered visions from the first time Key'd appeared in his dream became clear again. Want, Jonghyun thought; and let's get out of here.
“Yes, let's,” said Key-oh, so he can read my mind, thought Jonghyun. Okay. He followed Key as the other boy cut a path across the room to one of the windows. He placed a hand on the glass; only suddenly there was no glass-had there ever been? Jonghyun couldn't remember-and Key was stepping through the opening in the wall. Then he disappeared from sight, vanishing into the grey haze outside. Jonghyun looked over his shoulder, but no one seemed to have noticed, so he followed Key through the window.
He expected to find himself in some different setting, a bedroom somewhere, perhaps, or some city street, or a car, or even just a grassy field or something. But there really was nothing outside except the pale grey haze. Tendrils of nothingness swirled around Jonghyun, almost caressing, and from somewhere in the fog he could just make out Key's features as he stepped in closer and reached out toward Jonghyun.
This time when Jonghyun woke up, he remembered his dream-remembered Key, and the feel of his hands drifting over Jonghyun's bare skin, and the way his eyelids fluttered shut when and his mouth fell open when Jonghyun curled his fingers inside him.
After that, Key started showing up in Jonghyun's dreams more and more often. Jonghyun started looking forward to falling asleep, because four times out of five, it meant he would get to see Key. And Key would catch his eye and give him a meaningful look and a coy smile, and then Jonghyun would find himself following Key into some secluded corner, not really knowing where he was going-just that he was going where Key was going.
They didn't always have sex. They usually did-but sometimes they just lay under the sky somewhere, quiet, but together. Or they'd walk along a dirt path in the countryside, and Jonghyun would break away ahead of Key, singing or yelling, and Key would roll his eyes fondly and follow at his own, leisurely pace. But no matter where they were, it was always some dream world, nowhere Jonghyun had been in real life. No matter how much Jonghyun looked forward to seeing Key, as far as Jonghyun was concerned, Key was just some recurring dream character, some figment of his imagination that his subconscious had made up. Their meetings were always just dreams.
Until one day Jonghyun saw Key walking down the street on his way home from the grocery store.
Jonghyun almost dropped his bags in shock. He was pretty sure he was awake. He clearly remembered waking up that morning and showering, then going into the kitchen to find that he was out of food, which led to him going to the store to get some, which was why he was here now, carrying his grocery bags back to his apartment.
He pinched himself anyway; it hurt.
He watched, following along at a distance, as Key made his way down the street. His head was down, and his hair was a dark shade of brown instead of the multicolored streaks he had in Jonghyun's dreams, but Jonghyun was sure it was him. Then Key turned a corner, and Jonghyun hurried after him, but apparently not fast enough, because by the time he turned onto the intersecting street, Key was gone from sight.
“I think I'm going crazy,” Jonghyun declared that night when he fell asleep and found himself sitting at the sandy bottom of an ocean, Key lying back leisurely beside him.
“Okay,” said Key. “Although I'm pretty sure you've always been crazy,” he added. Jonghyun ignored that part.
“I think I'm going crazy,” he said again. “I saw you today. When I was awake.”
“Oh,” said Key. He rolled over onto his side and propped himself up on one arm. “What did I say?”
Jonghyun blinked. “Nothing,” he said. “I mean, I don't think you saw me.”
“What,” Key said, “you mean you didn't go up to me or anything?”
“No.” Jonghyun chewed his lip. “Should I have?”
Key shrugged. “I don't care.” He rolled over onto his back again, tucking his hands under his head, and looked up at schools of tiny, colorful fish swimming above them. “I don't care,” he said again. Jonghyun wondered if that was supposed to mean he did care. Key was difficult sometimes.
He said this out loud. “You're just like a girl sometimes,” he said.
Key scowled and turned his head just enough to glare at Jonghyun out of the corner of his eye. “Unless you're referring to my delicate and beautiful bone structure, I resent that,” he said.
Jonghyun laughed. “What are you talking about,” he said. “I don't even know half the time.”
Key gave a long-suffering sort of sigh. “You're just not intelligent enough to understand my brilliance,” he said, all put-on exasperation, and Jonghyun laughed again.
A week later, in real life, Jonghyun got off the train and headed for the exit like normal, but something made him turn back; he looked just in time to see Key get on the train. Jonghyun hurried back toward the train, but it was too late. A cool reminder to stand clear of the closing doors rang out just before Jonghyun got close enough to step back on the train, and he watched the gap between the doors narrow and disappear. The train started moving, slowly at first, and Jonghyun walked alongside the car, looking through the window. He got a glimpse of Key clutching the handle with one hand and fiddling with his mp3 player with the other, and then the train gained speed and Jonghyun couldn't see anything anymore.
That night he dreamed that he was following a trail of golden footprints. Each clear indentation in the soft dirt ground seemed to be coated with a thin layer of solid gold, and thin, curling strands of silver grew from them like wispy, delicate vines. Everything around him was dark, but when Jonghyun looked up, he could see Key, far ahead of him, his every step creating another shining footprint.
“Hey!” shouted Jonghyun; but his voice was muted, as if coming from very far away.
He started running, hurrying after Key. The gap between them grew smaller, and Jonghyun thought victoriously, I'm going to catch him.
But then Key turned around and gave Jonghyun a sad look, and Jonghyun realized suddenly that he wasn't closer after all; the distance between them had somehow gotten larger again. Jonghyun ran forward again, panic starting to fill up his chest, but even though Key was standing still, he only seemed to grow farther and farther away, the number of golden footprints on the ground between them growing larger and larger.
Jonghyun woke up in the dark, breathing hard.
He didn't dream about Key again for several weeks.
“Where've you been?” Jonghyun asked Key when he finally did. It'd been so long that he'd almost given up on ever seeing him again.
Key was playing one of those crane games, trying to grab something orange and glossy. He glanced at Jonghyun sideways and gave a casual shrug before turning his gaze back to the task at hand. “Around,” he said.
Jonghyun stepped closer and touched Key's upper arm. Key shook him off. “Shh,” he said. “I'm trying to concentrate, you know.”
Jonghyun looked closer at Key's crane game; the orange glossy things in the glass container were live crabs, he realized, scuttling over each other, dodging the metal claw looming above. Jonghyun raised his eyebrows. “Why are you trying to catch a crab?”
Key scoffed. “What crab?” he said. “These are dinosaur bones.” Jonghyun leaned in again, and sure enough, the glass box was now filled with fossils, old brown and yellowed things that could be rocks, except for the clear shapes of bones imprinted on them. He looked back at Key again, and the other boy's form was warping and twisting.
“No, wait-” said Jonghyun, reaching out-but it was too late, and Key turned to smoke and Jonghyun's fist closed around nothing but wisps of formless mist.
He woke up then-into another dream, he thought at first, because he was on the subway and Key was sitting across from him. Then, as the fog of sleep cleared, he remembered that he actually had been on the subway when he'd fallen asleep.
He stared hard at Key, who was looking down at his ipod. “Am I asleep or am I awake?” Jonghyun said to himself.
Or he'd meant for it to be to himself, but apparently he was too loud; Key seemed to hear him even through his earphones and looked up, directly at Jonghyun. Jonghyun quickly looked away, but he wasn't quick enough. When he glanced tentatively back, Key had his eyebrows raised and was plucking at the cord of his earphones, popping one side out of his ear.
“Are you talking to me?” he said.
Jonghyun blinked and opened his mouth to answer, but then he realized he had no idea what to say and closed it again, frowning. Annoyance flickered across Key's features; he sighed and reached to put his earphones back in.
“Wait,” said Jonghyun. Key's gaze shifted toward him again. He looked irritated. Jonghyun felt suddenly nervous.
“I realize this is really weird and probably inappropriate,” he said, “but do you want to go out for coffee sometime? My name is Kim Jonghyun,” he added.
Key gave a little scoff and rolled his eyes. But when he said, “Okay,” his voice was without a trace of irony. His eyes widened, like he was surprised at what he'd just said.
Jonghyun was surprised too. “Really?” he asked.
“I meant to say no,” said Key.
“Oh,” said Jonghyun. “No?” His shoulders slumped slightly.
“Well,” said Key, looking out of his comfort zone, “okay, I guess.”
Jonghyun beamed. The train slowed and the man sitting next to Key stood up to leave. Jonghyun slid across the aisle into his vacated seat. He wondered vaguely if he would still dream of Key, and if the Key in his dreams would change now that he'd met Key in real life.
“Don't sit so close, I don't even know you-you don't even know me,” said Key, shifting his shoulder away from where it pressed against Jonghyun's. “I'm Key,” he added, belatedly.
Jonghyun leaned over again so that his arm was touching Key's once more.
“I know,” he said.
&&&&&&
They met completely by accident. Jonghyun was training to be a pilot, and Key to be a strategist, and the two groups normally kept to themselves, rarely mingled with each other.
Key was studying in his reserved reading room off the space camp library when the door gave a complicated series of beeps and slid up with an unnatural scraping sound, and Jonghyun barreled in.
“Who the hell are you?” demanded Key. Jonghyun jabbed at the button to close the door again and then turned to face him. He was grinning; Key found it surprisingly annoying.
“Hi,” said Jonghyun. He was holding a small metallic object in his right hand; he slid it into the breast pocket of his trainee suit (grey with the blue pilot's stripe going down the shoulder) before holding his hand out for Key to shake. “I'm Jonghyun.”
Key ignored him. “That was a code scrambler,” he said. “Those are illegal.”
“Well I won't tell if you won't,” said Jonghyun, his smile tilting up at one corner.
Key was definitely going to tell.
“What are you even doing here?” he asked. He looked Jonghyun up and down disdainfully.
“Hiding,” said Jonghyun simply.
Key opened his mouth to ask who, then decided he didn't want to know. He said instead, “You can't be in here. This is my reading room. My private reading room.”
“Wow, you people get private reading rooms?” said Jonghyun, eyebrows going up in an expression that looked strangely like amusement, although Key couldn't see what was so amusing about that. “That's so nerdy.” Key's mouth fell open in indignation, but before he could come up with a satisfactory retort, Jonghyun continued, “And unfair! A whole room just for your own private studies? Although I suppose we get private flight training modules...” He trailed off; Key wondered if he was even still talking to Key, or if he was just muttering to himself now.
“Well anyway,” said Jonghyun in pleased tones, appearing to reach a decision. “Any way you look at it private training modules are cooler than a nerdy little study room, so I guess pilots are better than strategists after all.”
Key scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, “it's so much cooler to be an unsophisticated barbarian who only knows how to crash through space shooting at things than a strategist, who actually has to use his brain-”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Jonghyun, cutting him off. “I've heard it all already-give it a rest, will you?” He started wandering around the room, looking at the books and gadgets lining the shelves. He poked at the computer screen set into the desk.
“Don't touch that!” Key slapped his hand away.
“Sorry,” said Jonghyun, not sounding sorry at all. He swung around and lifted himself up to sit on the tabletop. Key pursed his lips and resisted the urge to strangle him, or to kick him in the side until he got off the table, or out of the room.
Suddenly Jonghyun leaned forward, forward and down, a lot. Key pressed himself back in his seat in an attempt in widen the suddenly very small distance between their faces, but Jonghyun just leaned forward more; Key wondered vaguely how he was keeping himself perched on the table.
“What are you doing.” Key was somewhat surprised that he managed to get the words out while trying simultaneously to breathe as little as humanly possible.
He could feel Jonghyun's breath in warm puffs on his face when he replied: “I've never seen a strategist up close before,” he said.
Key brought his hands up between them and pushed Jonghyun away. “What are you, blind? You normally don't need to be quite that close to see someone.” He rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the way his heart was suddenly racing.
Jonghyun grinned. “You're pretty,” he said; and then Key's heart was suddenly beating even faster, and his next breath stuck in his throat a little, and he thought that maybe he wouldn't report Jonghyun for having the code scrambler after all.
The second time they met was an accident too. Key was getting lunch in the cafeteria when three blue-striped trainees-pilots-crashed into him, laughing and wrestling.
“Watch it,” said Key in sharp tones.
“Sorry,” they chorused, sounding quite insincere. But then one of them looked up at Key, and he realized with a start that it was Jonghyun.
“Hey, it's you,” said Jonghyun. He stepped away from the other two, leaving them to their playful scuffle. “You never told me your name.”
That was on purpose, Key wanted to say, but what came out instead was, “It's Key.”
“Key,” repeated Jonghyun. He grinned. “Cool,” he said. “I like it.” And then he grabbed a cookie off of Key's tray and, ignoring Key's protests, tore open the package and bit into it as he backed away across the room, calling, “See you around, Key!”
A few days later, there was a knock on the door of his reading room, and when Key pressed the button to slide the door open, Jonghyun was standing there.
Key scowled. “It's you,” he said. “What are you doing here again?”
“Had some spare time, so I came to see you,” said Jonghyun, ducking into the room and coming to sit next to Key.
“What makes you think I want to see you?”
Jonghyun shrugged. “You let me in,” he said, and Key realized it was true: he could have shut the door again once he'd realized who it was, locked Jonghyun out, but instead he'd let the door open all the way and waited for Jonghyun to come in. He supposed, if he was honest with himself, that some part of him had even been glad it was Jonghyun at the door.
After that, Jonghyun came to visit him in his study room often. Key complained about the frequent intrusions-“How am I supposed to get anything done if you always drop in like this?”-but they both knew that Jonghyun was always welcome. So Jonghyun kept coming, and one day, Key realized with a shock that they were friends, and not only that, but that Jonghyun knew him better than any of his other friends, his classmates and fellow strategists.
Jonghyun graduated early, a result of the ongoing war against the Tritonians and the urgent need for more fighter pilots.
Key attended his graduation ceremony, standing quietly at the back, the only strategist in the room. He felt odd and out of place, but when Jonghyun walked up to receive his diploma, he turned to look straight at Key and smiled-beamed-at him, and then Key forgot all the awkward stares he'd gotten and just smiled back, happy and proud.
Afterwards, he waited in the hall until Jonghyun came out.
“Hey,” he said with a smile, “you did it.”
Jonghyun laughed. “Did you ever doubt me?” he asked.
Key rolled his eyes, although the effect was dampened by the way he smiled and shook his head.
Jonghyun opened his mouth to say something more, but suddenly was cut off by the loud blaring of the emergency alarm. The hall filled with orange flashes of light, and a cool voice said over the loudspeaker, “All fighter pilots please report to the launch bay immediately. All fighter pilots to the launch bay.”
Jonghyun's lips tightened, smile falling from his face. “That's me,” he said. He turned to leave.
“Wait,” said Key. He reached out to grasp Jonghyun by the arm. Jonghyun looked down at Key's slender fingers, starkly white against the black of his brand new uniform sleeve, and then back at Key's face, impatiently.
“Key, I have to go,” he said. Key bit his lower lip; his eyebrows fell into a worried slant. The alarm sounded insistently in the background. “Key,” Jonghyun said, again.
“Be careful,” Key said, finally. “I-” He broke off and looked down.
Jonghyun stepped closer to Key. He smoothed a hand over the side of Key's hair, then brought it down to rest lightly over Key's hand on his arm.
“I know,” said Jonghyun. “I love you too.”
Key looked up then, eyes bright with tears and surprise; Jonghyun took the opportunity to lean in and press a light kiss to Key's lips. Then he stepped back, pulling away from Key's grasp. He smiled reassuringly at Key as he backed away, and then he turned and ran down the corridor. When he reached the end he ducked into the glowing portal there and was gone.
&&&&&&
The room was filled with the cacophony of dozens of overlapping singing voices clashing as they rehearsed their parts and the shuffling thuds of overeager trainees practicing their solos. But neither Jonghyun nor Key noticed the noise and movement that surrounded them as they faced each other.
“I'm Kim Jonghyun.”
“Kim Kibum-Key.”